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motel california

@motelporn.bsky.social

1.6K followers 1.4K following 2.2K posts

she/her/mom • cis/bi • lmt • sfw • sahm • #fuckMS • I post my kid’s cats stupid babbling: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ec3rjefpjf5d6utve7lq2py6/feed/aaaemwfiui5sw the rooms: https://www.tumblr.com/motelporn

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · Jun 5

I only dabble in motels

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AnnaMolly @anna-molly.bsky.social · 12h

I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE!

-Spooky season on Bluesky

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Reverie 💀🕯️ @augustreverie.bsky.social · 5d

Boy, if we were seahorses, I would get you *so pregnant*

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𝔏𝔦𝔩𝔞𝔠 @ironlilacc.bsky.social · 12h

Thucking you off with plastic fangs on

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 10h

All I'm saying, my grandpa was a prison guard, when he got really old, he thought he was back in the prison

He’s just back on the set of The Apprentice

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turbo jerry @turbojerry.bsky.social · 13h

sitting on the outskirts ain’t so bad; you don’t always gotta be the center of attention, homie

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 18h

i’m sorry i watched your toddler for an hour and now she won’t stop singing landslide

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Adam @adamurb.bsky.social · 1d

My wife and I, trying to decide what to do with extra garage space.

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Zippo @naughtyzippo.bsky.social · 1d

Two wrongs don't make a right. Another two might though, don't give up.

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Moby Dick @mobydickatsea.bsky.social · 1d

I don’t know how it is, but people like to be private when they are sleeping.

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Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · 1d

Get some Vice Krispies

Ridge 🇨🇦 @cridge17.bsky.social · 1d

Adult cereal content…

Who doesn’t like Cheery Hoes 😎

Meme- Adult cereal names:

Cheery Hoes
Captain Munch
Porn Flakes
Special D

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Semiotic Scaryname @mitdasein.bsky.social · 1d

I never understood people who don't drink water.

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 1d

"Better the devil you know than the devil you don't," is the secret to a long marriage.

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 1d

All rejected my dinner offering of leftovers so my husband is making hamburgers.

My plan not to cook tonight has been successful

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Brick's 𝕳𝖆𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 House 🍁🎃 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 12d

It's impossible to drink root beer and be in a bad mood

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Elle @elleisanisland.bsky.social · 1d

I'm happy to be alive but it's the worst thing that's ever happened to me

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Moby Dick @mobydickatsea.bsky.social · 1d

I leave a white and turbid wake; pale waters, paler cheeks, where’er I sail. The envious billows sidelong swell to whelm my track; let them; but first I pass.

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 1d

This is what GenX sounds like:

“Your Mom!”

Heidi McDeathknelled @hmcd.bsky.social · 2d

This is what GenX sounds like sometimes:

“Fuck the reboot. Nobody asked for it, and none of them even come close.”

Texas Krusty @texaskrusty.bsky.social · 2d

This is what Gen-X sounds like sometimes:

‘Oh my God, my back and knees hurt and i am never going to be able to retire.’

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ivy @askylitocean.bsky.social · 2d

Ugh how can you people not like 60s rock music?? I'm dumbfounded!

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 2d

I'm just going to forget the world and build a garden

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SIMONE 🩷 @simonee.bsky.social · 2d

can a beautiful girl who farts a lot find genuine love in this world

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born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 2d

if Bluesky goes under, I will go back to the ancient art of skywriting

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 3d

Look! If your motel doesn't have waterproof mattress covers on all the beds, that's on you. You can't charge me extra for my wap!

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 3d

😘

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Chames @overlooked237.bsky.social · 3d

snitches get side stitches

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motel california @motelporn.bsky.social · 3d

My husband said all he wanted to do today was to fall asleep in the sun in the backyard.
All I wanted to do was yard work in as little clothing as is legal. I don't believe he slept much.

Mission accomplished

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