Sue Corvette
@suecorvette.bsky.social
I have a mad collection of Barbie dolls and other toys. I haven’t grown up yet and probably never will
Ended 2025 the same way it started. With six inches — and no it’s not what you think. It was a six inch long needle in my spine. Good times
December 31, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Ended 2025 the same way it started. With six inches — and no it’s not what you think. It was a six inch long needle in my spine. Good times
Reposted by Sue Corvette
them: hi
me: QUIT SMOTHERING ME
me: QUIT SMOTHERING ME
December 30, 2025 at 7:14 PM
them: hi
me: QUIT SMOTHERING ME
me: QUIT SMOTHERING ME
Reposted by Sue Corvette
If you received an invitation to the tigers’ New Year's Feast, please be aware that you are the feast.
December 30, 2025 at 5:43 PM
If you received an invitation to the tigers’ New Year's Feast, please be aware that you are the feast.
Reposted by Sue Corvette
Cannibals are the only true planet friendly people
December 30, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Cannibals are the only true planet friendly people
Reposted by Sue Corvette
Los Angeles took one look at all the assholes planning to hike on New Year's and decided she was going to treat herself to rain.
December 30, 2025 at 7:36 PM
Los Angeles took one look at all the assholes planning to hike on New Year's and decided she was going to treat herself to rain.
Reposted by Sue Corvette
To each his own fries.
December 30, 2025 at 5:54 PM
To each his own fries.
Reposted by Sue Corvette
2025 was like a shopping cart with a bad wheel.
It wasn’t easy, but we managed to push through.
It wasn’t easy, but we managed to push through.
December 30, 2025 at 7:55 PM
2025 was like a shopping cart with a bad wheel.
It wasn’t easy, but we managed to push through.
It wasn’t easy, but we managed to push through.
Reposted by Sue Corvette
BLIND DATE: i can’t wait to meet you
ME: (a vegetarian) the fuck you say to me
ME: (a vegetarian) the fuck you say to me
December 30, 2025 at 8:18 PM
BLIND DATE: i can’t wait to meet you
ME: (a vegetarian) the fuck you say to me
ME: (a vegetarian) the fuck you say to me
Reposted by Sue Corvette
ever since i was a little boy, i just knew i wanted to be a forty year old divorcée with a secret diet pill addiction.
December 30, 2025 at 11:12 PM
ever since i was a little boy, i just knew i wanted to be a forty year old divorcée with a secret diet pill addiction.
Reposted by Sue Corvette
I dunno man, today just feels like a waste of my business pyjamas
December 30, 2025 at 8:21 PM
I dunno man, today just feels like a waste of my business pyjamas
my 7 yo grandson is on the spectrum. He was non-verbal for the longest time but lately he has found his voice. Not words per se but noises. Very loud noises
Been the loving grandmother I am, I gifted him a karaoke machine for Xmas
Long story short — he loves it and my daughter isn’t speaking to me
Been the loving grandmother I am, I gifted him a karaoke machine for Xmas
Long story short — he loves it and my daughter isn’t speaking to me
December 31, 2025 at 5:51 AM
my 7 yo grandson is on the spectrum. He was non-verbal for the longest time but lately he has found his voice. Not words per se but noises. Very loud noises
Been the loving grandmother I am, I gifted him a karaoke machine for Xmas
Long story short — he loves it and my daughter isn’t speaking to me
Been the loving grandmother I am, I gifted him a karaoke machine for Xmas
Long story short — he loves it and my daughter isn’t speaking to me
Reposted by Sue Corvette
all I’m saying is a lava lamp would be much better with real lava
December 30, 2025 at 11:47 PM
all I’m saying is a lava lamp would be much better with real lava
Today I used the Kasa App to turn on the lights in my living room.
Later when I went to bed I realized I had accidentally turned on the air conditioning in my bedroom.
Back story — it’s -21° here with a wind chill that makes it feel like -27. Certainly not air conditioning weather
Later when I went to bed I realized I had accidentally turned on the air conditioning in my bedroom.
Back story — it’s -21° here with a wind chill that makes it feel like -27. Certainly not air conditioning weather
December 31, 2025 at 5:41 AM
Today I used the Kasa App to turn on the lights in my living room.
Later when I went to bed I realized I had accidentally turned on the air conditioning in my bedroom.
Back story — it’s -21° here with a wind chill that makes it feel like -27. Certainly not air conditioning weather
Later when I went to bed I realized I had accidentally turned on the air conditioning in my bedroom.
Back story — it’s -21° here with a wind chill that makes it feel like -27. Certainly not air conditioning weather
I guess it’s better than “buy one get zero”
August 20, 2025 at 6:28 PM
I guess it’s better than “buy one get zero”
first person to eat an orange: this is disgusting!
first person to peel an orange: you’re not gonna believe this…..
first person to eat a banana: what’s going on here?
first person to peel an orange: you’re not gonna believe this…..
first person to eat a banana: what’s going on here?
June 20, 2025 at 2:43 PM
first person to eat an orange: this is disgusting!
first person to peel an orange: you’re not gonna believe this…..
first person to eat a banana: what’s going on here?
first person to peel an orange: you’re not gonna believe this…..
first person to eat a banana: what’s going on here?
You know you’re getting old when you start buying condolence cards in bulk
June 20, 2025 at 2:37 PM
You know you’re getting old when you start buying condolence cards in bulk
Am I the only one who finds a slide of pizza from a small pizza tastes way better than one from a medium or large?
June 13, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Am I the only one who finds a slide of pizza from a small pizza tastes way better than one from a medium or large?
If you want to find out if someone is ticklish, the first step is performing a testtickle
June 8, 2025 at 4:51 AM
If you want to find out if someone is ticklish, the first step is performing a testtickle
Reposted by Sue Corvette
Takes garbage out to the bin at 2am with smudged eyeliner
Me seeing raccoon: don’t fall in love with me kid
I’ll only break your heart
Me seeing raccoon: don’t fall in love with me kid
I’ll only break your heart
December 4, 2024 at 4:10 AM
Takes garbage out to the bin at 2am with smudged eyeliner
Me seeing raccoon: don’t fall in love with me kid
I’ll only break your heart
Me seeing raccoon: don’t fall in love with me kid
I’ll only break your heart
almost died last year when I fell into an automatic upholstery machine. I’m ok now tho. In fact, I’m fully recovered
June 4, 2025 at 9:08 PM
almost died last year when I fell into an automatic upholstery machine. I’m ok now tho. In fact, I’m fully recovered
me (bowing): thank you your majesty
cashier at Dairy Queen: please stop coming here
cashier at Dairy Queen: please stop coming here
June 4, 2025 at 2:10 AM
me (bowing): thank you your majesty
cashier at Dairy Queen: please stop coming here
cashier at Dairy Queen: please stop coming here
that awkward moment when your new dog turns out to be a kangaroo
June 4, 2025 at 1:26 AM
that awkward moment when your new dog turns out to be a kangaroo
my foolish neighbour thinks I won’t notice he’s hiding an elephant in his bushes but I’m on to him!
June 4, 2025 at 1:22 AM
my foolish neighbour thinks I won’t notice he’s hiding an elephant in his bushes but I’m on to him!
I’m in my bedroom watching a horror movie while I play with dinosaur rings when it hits me …
how will my family ever know if/when I get dementia? Half of them will be “there’s something wrong with mom” and the other half will be “nah she’s always been like that”
how will my family ever know if/when I get dementia? Half of them will be “there’s something wrong with mom” and the other half will be “nah she’s always been like that”
June 4, 2025 at 1:12 AM
I’m in my bedroom watching a horror movie while I play with dinosaur rings when it hits me …
how will my family ever know if/when I get dementia? Half of them will be “there’s something wrong with mom” and the other half will be “nah she’s always been like that”
how will my family ever know if/when I get dementia? Half of them will be “there’s something wrong with mom” and the other half will be “nah she’s always been like that”