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Uncle Duke

@uncleduke1969.bsky.social

40K followers 350 following 4K posts

Does this look infected? Just My Nonsense: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2cz6x3e7thlqjc5cxa2hnbsn/feed/aaab3yqtmpox2 My Least Worst: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2cz6x3e7thlqjc5cxa2hnbsn/feed/aaadpxkw36ag6

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · Dec 31

for the potato fears not death

Printed instructions for microwaving a potato with encircled bullet point, “Potato may whistle in microwave.”

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 2h

The Call of Cathulhu

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 2h

“The cat is such a perfect symbol of beauty and superiority that it seems scarcely possible for any true aesthete and civilised cynic to do other than worship it.”

- H.P. Lovecraft

A hand holding a dripping wet, bulging-eyed, flat-faced cat looking sadly at the camera.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 6h

[best read with a French accent]

“I am so very sorry sir, without a reservation, there is simply nothing I can do for you.”

2 photos of a fluffy black-and-white cat with a pencil-thin mustache. They appear to he looking up and speaking in the first, scowling in the second.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 17h

This is absolutely the last time I call an escort service and say “I’m not picky.”

Photo taken through a doorway into a room with two beds, one of which is occupied by a standing sheep.

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Reposted by Uncle Duke

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 1d

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do scrapbooking.

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Reposted by Uncle Duke

John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 20h

Them: Can you help me?

Me: I don’t work here.

Them: Oh, sorry. *leaves*

My boss: You need to stop doing that.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 23h

i’m sure it’s fine

Two strips of wide clear plastic tape hold down the internal surround of an airplane window.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 1d

Paw Blart

A cat in a "SECURITY" coat sits on a polished tile floor.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 1d

As consolation, he will be presented with a MAJOR AWARD by Rudy Giuliani today at Four Seasons Total Landscaping.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 1d

some say it’s art, some say it’s not

Golden lamp in the shape of a nose with a bulb hanging from the right nostril.

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Reposted by Uncle Duke

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 2d

salt-n-pepa: *nod approvingly*

Several signs on a door instructing to "Push to lock" without turning the lock.

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Reposted by Uncle Duke

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 2d

i don’t have the heart to tell him

A package of teal and brown cookies labeled "Black and White Cookies."

A white dog in a chef's hat in front of a rolling pin.

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Reposted by Uncle Duke

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 2d

when you totally misread the vibe

A cow leans over a fence and licks the face of a very surprised-looking woman.

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Reposted by Uncle Duke

The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 2d

they should make doctor’s appointments that i am excited about

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 2d

If you want to search a vengeful ghost you need a warrant signed by a grudge but seriously, all the business you have collected so far isn't unfinished enough to be admissable