Shimmy
@aslightshimmy.bsky.social
Your hottest block.
Soup lover.
Ancient astronaut theorists say yes.
Bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:cxyrickxqsekl5lubvku2u3l/feed/aaadf7xqqvcla
Latest: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:cxyrickxqsekl5lubvku2u3l/feed/aaaajoctrm2m4
$ASlightShimmy
Soup lover.
Ancient astronaut theorists say yes.
Bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:cxyrickxqsekl5lubvku2u3l/feed/aaadf7xqqvcla
Latest: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:cxyrickxqsekl5lubvku2u3l/feed/aaaajoctrm2m4
$ASlightShimmy
Pinned
Shimmy
@aslightshimmy.bsky.social
· May 31
You’re not allowed to be mad at me for being an asshole if you were an asshole first.
When my grandma was still here she would cut up all the pies she had for Thanksgiving and would insist we had pie the night before because there would be no room for it the next day. It’s a fantastic tradition and I proudly carry it on.
November 25, 2025 at 6:30 PM
When my grandma was still here she would cut up all the pies she had for Thanksgiving and would insist we had pie the night before because there would be no room for it the next day. It’s a fantastic tradition and I proudly carry it on.
Reposted by Shimmy
I want my Bsky to be a place where someone might go if they wanted to discover underfollowed nude photographers.
November 25, 2025 at 1:37 AM
I want my Bsky to be a place where someone might go if they wanted to discover underfollowed nude photographers.
Reposted by Shimmy
Why is it called Butcher's twine and not hamstring
November 25, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Why is it called Butcher's twine and not hamstring
Reposted by Shimmy
Hey, tell your dad I said sup.
November 24, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Hey, tell your dad I said sup.
Reposted by Shimmy
A “smooth criminal” is just a criminal who is well moisturized.
November 24, 2025 at 11:30 PM
A “smooth criminal” is just a criminal who is well moisturized.
A cappella groups are the equivalent of a circle jerk.
November 24, 2025 at 10:14 PM
A cappella groups are the equivalent of a circle jerk.
I can go get tiddies the size of beach balls put in but I can’t get a doctor to take my kids tonsils out. Make it make sense.
November 24, 2025 at 9:32 PM
I can go get tiddies the size of beach balls put in but I can’t get a doctor to take my kids tonsils out. Make it make sense.
The fact that we force dogs to play games and open shit and maneuver slow eating bowls for their meals but we don’t do that for humans is pretty much all I need to know about how shitty we are.
November 24, 2025 at 9:13 PM
The fact that we force dogs to play games and open shit and maneuver slow eating bowls for their meals but we don’t do that for humans is pretty much all I need to know about how shitty we are.
Reposted by Shimmy
one thing about me is: i'm gonna be a huge fucking cunt about it
November 24, 2025 at 7:00 PM
one thing about me is: i'm gonna be a huge fucking cunt about it
The football announcer guy was talking about squirting and holes all afternoon yesterday. But sure. Sports aren’t gay.
November 24, 2025 at 6:13 PM
The football announcer guy was talking about squirting and holes all afternoon yesterday. But sure. Sports aren’t gay.
Onlyfans but I only post once every 6 months.
November 24, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Onlyfans but I only post once every 6 months.
Reposted by Shimmy
i had to stop making milkshakes because of all the boys constantly being in my yard
November 24, 2025 at 3:00 PM
i had to stop making milkshakes because of all the boys constantly being in my yard
Reposted by Shimmy
Spatchcocking season is nearly upon us.
September 5, 2023 at 5:37 AM
Spatchcocking season is nearly upon us.
Reposted by Shimmy
People get so weird when you hate them
November 24, 2025 at 3:38 PM
People get so weird when you hate them
Reposted by Shimmy
It would be too distracting if the Statue of Liberty had bigger boobs.
November 23, 2025 at 4:46 PM
It would be too distracting if the Statue of Liberty had bigger boobs.
Mahomes shoulders must hurt.
November 23, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Mahomes shoulders must hurt.
I don’t trust these refs.
November 23, 2025 at 6:35 PM
I don’t trust these refs.
Reposted by Shimmy
hear me out we need another muppets movie
November 23, 2025 at 5:36 AM
hear me out we need another muppets movie
Reposted by Shimmy
it’s never too late to start having weird and evil sex
November 22, 2025 at 6:57 PM
it’s never too late to start having weird and evil sex
Reposted by Shimmy
imagine walking down the beach and seeing jesus carrying some guy
November 22, 2025 at 1:04 AM
imagine walking down the beach and seeing jesus carrying some guy
Reposted by Shimmy
PTSD, but for typos
November 21, 2025 at 6:30 AM
PTSD, but for typos
Reposted by Shimmy
Notifications so dry they need a little gravy
November 22, 2025 at 3:12 AM
Notifications so dry they need a little gravy
I need a vacation full of sex.
November 22, 2025 at 8:57 PM
I need a vacation full of sex.
Reposted by Shimmy
Goofy dancing in the kitchen is where it's at.
November 22, 2025 at 12:48 PM
Goofy dancing in the kitchen is where it's at.
If you’re not riding his morning wood with your tiddies in his face, what are you doing?
November 22, 2025 at 6:41 PM
If you’re not riding his morning wood with your tiddies in his face, what are you doing?