Bohan
@boganmongrel.bsky.social
All posts ripped from dialog when you talk to a senile old man in a JRPG
Reposted by Bohan
Some people confuse vasectomy with castration, but there’s a vas deferens between them.
December 29, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Some people confuse vasectomy with castration, but there’s a vas deferens between them.
Reposted by Bohan
My supply didn’t meet my demand yet again.
December 30, 2025 at 5:58 AM
My supply didn’t meet my demand yet again.
Why do we call dead people "complex" for doing a bunch of dumb stuff?
Why don't we just say "he obviously treated people like dirt but his second album is still important to me" - your feelings are complex not the celebrity.
The celebrity is an idiot.
Why don't we just say "he obviously treated people like dirt but his second album is still important to me" - your feelings are complex not the celebrity.
The celebrity is an idiot.
December 30, 2025 at 7:57 AM
Why do we call dead people "complex" for doing a bunch of dumb stuff?
Why don't we just say "he obviously treated people like dirt but his second album is still important to me" - your feelings are complex not the celebrity.
The celebrity is an idiot.
Why don't we just say "he obviously treated people like dirt but his second album is still important to me" - your feelings are complex not the celebrity.
The celebrity is an idiot.
Reposted by Bohan
You can pretend to have your shit together if you want. They don’t really check
December 26, 2025 at 1:51 AM
You can pretend to have your shit together if you want. They don’t really check
Reposted by Bohan
Dentist: [*vomiting*]
Gift-horse: “I fucking warned you, man”
Gift-horse: “I fucking warned you, man”
December 27, 2025 at 7:23 AM
Dentist: [*vomiting*]
Gift-horse: “I fucking warned you, man”
Gift-horse: “I fucking warned you, man”
Reposted by Bohan
AI isn’t going to take your job
I am
You’re going to go in to your next shift and I will be there, I will be wearing your clothing and your badge, I will be sitting in your chair, I will be answering to your name
As much as you tell people I’m not you, they won’t believe you or recognize you
I am
You’re going to go in to your next shift and I will be there, I will be wearing your clothing and your badge, I will be sitting in your chair, I will be answering to your name
As much as you tell people I’m not you, they won’t believe you or recognize you
December 27, 2025 at 8:31 AM
AI isn’t going to take your job
I am
You’re going to go in to your next shift and I will be there, I will be wearing your clothing and your badge, I will be sitting in your chair, I will be answering to your name
As much as you tell people I’m not you, they won’t believe you or recognize you
I am
You’re going to go in to your next shift and I will be there, I will be wearing your clothing and your badge, I will be sitting in your chair, I will be answering to your name
As much as you tell people I’m not you, they won’t believe you or recognize you
Reposted by Bohan
Ooh I thought you said “rad wife”
September 24, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Ooh I thought you said “rad wife”
Did you say he "salted the earth" or he's "the salt of the earth"?
I think a mixup based on this idiom could be the central plot idea of a Wallace and Gromit film
I think a mixup based on this idiom could be the central plot idea of a Wallace and Gromit film
December 25, 2025 at 11:22 AM
Did you say he "salted the earth" or he's "the salt of the earth"?
I think a mixup based on this idiom could be the central plot idea of a Wallace and Gromit film
I think a mixup based on this idiom could be the central plot idea of a Wallace and Gromit film
Protip: to spice things up when you take your clothes off say "BEHOLD, THE GIFTS OF LIFE"
December 24, 2025 at 10:55 AM
Protip: to spice things up when you take your clothes off say "BEHOLD, THE GIFTS OF LIFE"
I won a Grammy award for best supporting grandson
December 24, 2025 at 9:04 AM
I won a Grammy award for best supporting grandson
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you rampaged across metropolitan Tokyo, causing thousands of casualties
This year, to save me from tears
I′ll give it to someone special
But the very next day, you rampaged across metropolitan Tokyo, causing thousands of casualties
This year, to save me from tears
I′ll give it to someone special
December 24, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you rampaged across metropolitan Tokyo, causing thousands of casualties
This year, to save me from tears
I′ll give it to someone special
But the very next day, you rampaged across metropolitan Tokyo, causing thousands of casualties
This year, to save me from tears
I′ll give it to someone special
Welcome to Saturday Night Live-ish, with your host comedyGPT
December 23, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Welcome to Saturday Night Live-ish, with your host comedyGPT
Do you believe in Christmas Guy?
December 23, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Do you believe in Christmas Guy?
You may call me disgruntled but let me tell you, from where I'm sitting I am appropriately gruntled
December 22, 2025 at 6:59 PM
You may call me disgruntled but let me tell you, from where I'm sitting I am appropriately gruntled
Birdhouse in your Soul Bird: "Thats ridiculous John, it's impossible for me to be gaslighting you. I'm literally an electric light"
December 21, 2025 at 8:12 AM
Birdhouse in your Soul Bird: "Thats ridiculous John, it's impossible for me to be gaslighting you. I'm literally an electric light"
In hindsight the birdhouse in your soul bird is kinda mean
December 20, 2025 at 7:28 PM
In hindsight the birdhouse in your soul bird is kinda mean
Reposted by Bohan
INVENTOR OF THE WASHING MACHINE: it’s a machine that washes
INVENTOR OF THE DISHWASHER: washes what
INVENTOR OF THE DISHWASHER: washes what
December 20, 2025 at 4:27 PM
INVENTOR OF THE WASHING MACHINE: it’s a machine that washes
INVENTOR OF THE DISHWASHER: washes what
INVENTOR OF THE DISHWASHER: washes what
Reposted by Bohan
never found jangling keys particularly amusing as a kid but over the years i've come to appreciate their brand of retro, almost vaudevillian slapstick performance, not just as a frantic frenzy of hilarious hijinks and gut bustin' goof em ups, but also as a truly incredible display of raw athleticism
December 20, 2025 at 11:50 AM
never found jangling keys particularly amusing as a kid but over the years i've come to appreciate their brand of retro, almost vaudevillian slapstick performance, not just as a frantic frenzy of hilarious hijinks and gut bustin' goof em ups, but also as a truly incredible display of raw athleticism
Knowing that I might have to awkwardly explain any joke I make here to a stern faced ICE agent next time I travel to the states is actually the most alive I've felt in years
December 16, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Knowing that I might have to awkwardly explain any joke I make here to a stern faced ICE agent next time I travel to the states is actually the most alive I've felt in years
To new readers: this is what reading is, what you're doing right now turning these glyphs into meaning and concepts.
December 16, 2025 at 8:41 PM
To new readers: this is what reading is, what you're doing right now turning these glyphs into meaning and concepts.
Actually in the original comics President Garfield was a cat
December 13, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Actually in the original comics President Garfield was a cat
Reposted by Bohan
Ask your hallucinations if being a doctor is right for you.
December 12, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Ask your hallucinations if being a doctor is right for you.
Reposted by Bohan
Beach Boys sang about cars even tho they’d never driven or seen a real car
December 12, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Beach Boys sang about cars even tho they’d never driven or seen a real car
Yeah I was a state supported threat actor for a bit after leaving drama school, now I'm an usher
December 11, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Yeah I was a state supported threat actor for a bit after leaving drama school, now I'm an usher