Matt Craddock
@mattcraddock.com
Research Software Engineer at The Alan Turing Institute, UK. Former cognitive neuroscientist
Reposted by Matt Craddock
Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly
February 1, 2026 at 3:40 PM
Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly
Reposted by Matt Craddock
Americans will really use anything but the metric system (complimentary)
I can officially confirm that the snow in NC is roughly one (1) corgi deep
January 31, 2026 at 11:24 PM
Americans will really use anything but the metric system (complimentary)
Reposted by Matt Craddock
The sheer scale of a billion dollars can be hard to understand. Let me put it in perspective for you. You would have to earn a dollar a day for a billion days straight to have that much money.
January 30, 2026 at 2:18 AM
The sheer scale of a billion dollars can be hard to understand. Let me put it in perspective for you. You would have to earn a dollar a day for a billion days straight to have that much money.
Reposted by Matt Craddock
Also trying to parse all the emails that read like they were written by a concussed golden retriever I think I finally get why these guys are so enthusiastic about getting chatbots to write for them
January 31, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Also trying to parse all the emails that read like they were written by a concussed golden retriever I think I finally get why these guys are so enthusiastic about getting chatbots to write for them
Reposted by Matt Craddock
True story: the one time I ate at The Ivy was in 2008 and I got knocked over in a papparazi scrum as they all rushed the door for someone famous. An ENORMOUS photographer scooped me up and said in the strongest Scouse accent I've ever heard: "sorry love, you got pap smeared"
January 31, 2026 at 9:25 AM
True story: the one time I ate at The Ivy was in 2008 and I got knocked over in a papparazi scrum as they all rushed the door for someone famous. An ENORMOUS photographer scooped me up and said in the strongest Scouse accent I've ever heard: "sorry love, you got pap smeared"
Reposted by Matt Craddock
look an entire newspaper has been kicked in the head by a horse
January 31, 2026 at 7:37 AM
look an entire newspaper has been kicked in the head by a horse
Reposted by Matt Craddock
what happened to 90s video game star COOL SPOT?? This four part comic has the answer
1/4 🧵
1/4 🧵
November 17, 2024 at 9:31 PM
what happened to 90s video game star COOL SPOT?? This four part comic has the answer
1/4 🧵
1/4 🧵
Reposted by Matt Craddock
Website: and your postcode?
Me: my address is—
Website: no no I’m keen to guess! Postcode?
Me: *enters postcode*
Website: is it no. 132?
Me: no
Website: is it no. 134?
Me: it’s 1—
Website: SHUT UP is it no. 136?
Me: my address is—
Website: no no I’m keen to guess! Postcode?
Me: *enters postcode*
Website: is it no. 132?
Me: no
Website: is it no. 134?
Me: it’s 1—
Website: SHUT UP is it no. 136?
January 28, 2026 at 10:07 AM
Website: and your postcode?
Me: my address is—
Website: no no I’m keen to guess! Postcode?
Me: *enters postcode*
Website: is it no. 132?
Me: no
Website: is it no. 134?
Me: it’s 1—
Website: SHUT UP is it no. 136?
Me: my address is—
Website: no no I’m keen to guess! Postcode?
Me: *enters postcode*
Website: is it no. 132?
Me: no
Website: is it no. 134?
Me: it’s 1—
Website: SHUT UP is it no. 136?
Reposted by Matt Craddock
Reposted by Matt Craddock
i just got a new job at Bluesky Inc. where my job is i'm the person who decides if your links embed successfully on Discord or not. on a good day i spend about 7.5 hours on the toilet
January 16, 2026 at 12:22 AM
i just got a new job at Bluesky Inc. where my job is i'm the person who decides if your links embed successfully on Discord or not. on a good day i spend about 7.5 hours on the toilet
Reposted by Matt Craddock
Is it because they like being able to see?
January 27, 2026 at 4:30 PM
Is it because they like being able to see?
Reposted by Matt Craddock
I personally believe it’s good when people who had bad opinions change them into good opinions. I think we should celebrate that. Just not as much as we celebrate people like me, who only have good opinions
January 26, 2026 at 3:17 PM
I personally believe it’s good when people who had bad opinions change them into good opinions. I think we should celebrate that. Just not as much as we celebrate people like me, who only have good opinions
Reposted by Matt Craddock
that tie knot is the same width as his head
Kash Patel: "You cannot bring a firearm, loaded, with multiple magazines to any sort of protest that you want. It's that simple. You don't have a right to break the law." (Pretti was carrying a gun legally.)
January 25, 2026 at 10:18 PM
that tie knot is the same width as his head
Reposted by Matt Craddock
God, tired of working in mysterious ways:
January 25, 2026 at 7:03 PM
God, tired of working in mysterious ways:
Reposted by Matt Craddock
Thank God there were people filming. This administration would have said Alex Pretti pulled a handgun, a package of fentanyl, and a signed copy of the Communist Manifesto if they could.
January 25, 2026 at 7:10 PM
Thank God there were people filming. This administration would have said Alex Pretti pulled a handgun, a package of fentanyl, and a signed copy of the Communist Manifesto if they could.
Reposted by Matt Craddock
"They've radicalized the Massive Cock subreddit" I say to no one in particular while my wife fills out divorce papers
January 25, 2026 at 6:33 PM
"They've radicalized the Massive Cock subreddit" I say to no one in particular while my wife fills out divorce papers
Reposted by Matt Craddock
MOVIE FACT: Elijah Wood's character in Return of The King was named "Frodo Baggins", a subtle reference to a character with the same name also played by Wood in one of director Peter Jackson's earlier films
January 28, 2025 at 11:39 AM
MOVIE FACT: Elijah Wood's character in Return of The King was named "Frodo Baggins", a subtle reference to a character with the same name also played by Wood in one of director Peter Jackson's earlier films
Reposted by Matt Craddock
For Jim Moir/Vic Reeves' birthday, a reminder it's thirty years this year since this advert.
January 24, 2026 at 10:01 AM
For Jim Moir/Vic Reeves' birthday, a reminder it's thirty years this year since this advert.
Five concerts you've seen with female lead singers
Joanna Newsom
Patti Smith
Björk
Low
Sleater-Kinney
Joanna Newsom
Patti Smith
Björk
Low
Sleater-Kinney
January 24, 2026 at 12:09 PM
Five concerts you've seen with female lead singers
Joanna Newsom
Patti Smith
Björk
Low
Sleater-Kinney
Joanna Newsom
Patti Smith
Björk
Low
Sleater-Kinney
Reposted by Matt Craddock
Mark Carney's speech is now only the second most acute analysis of where the world is at right now:
January 21, 2026 at 2:08 PM
Mark Carney's speech is now only the second most acute analysis of where the world is at right now:
Reposted by Matt Craddock
Yesterday it was cows using tools, today its penguins using satellite imagery.
January 20, 2026 at 6:44 PM
Yesterday it was cows using tools, today its penguins using satellite imagery.
Reposted by Matt Craddock
"you shouldn't prepare for a hypothetical" as i remove those annoying little smoke detectors
Susanna Reid asks Darren Jones what British companies who export to the US should do to prepare for a possible increase in tariffs.
Darren Jones replies: "you shouldn't prepare for a hypothetical"
Darren Jones replies: "you shouldn't prepare for a hypothetical"
January 20, 2026 at 12:32 PM
"you shouldn't prepare for a hypothetical" as i remove those annoying little smoke detectors
Reposted by Matt Craddock
And my personal favorite from a mss from Brasenose College, Oxford in 1528, added to a mss copy of Cicero’s De officiis by a monk of Osney Abbey about John Burton, the local abbot (&, according to other historical sources, an actual massive POS).
So much solidarity, dear little monk.
So much solidarity, dear little monk.
January 18, 2026 at 12:42 AM
And my personal favorite from a mss from Brasenose College, Oxford in 1528, added to a mss copy of Cicero’s De officiis by a monk of Osney Abbey about John Burton, the local abbot (&, according to other historical sources, an actual massive POS).
So much solidarity, dear little monk.
So much solidarity, dear little monk.
Reposted by Matt Craddock
The thing is women do write men badly, but in a very different way. Sadly theres no “he stopped to admire his testicles in the mirror” moments
We all know about r/menwritingwomen moments, but can anyone think of an analogous situation for women writing men? Any cases where a female author's portrayal of a male character is similarly bizarre?
January 17, 2026 at 11:59 PM
The thing is women do write men badly, but in a very different way. Sadly theres no “he stopped to admire his testicles in the mirror” moments