My favorite subway stop also lets you out on the roof of a building

“oh so you think the east wing being demolished is worse than-“ it’s a synecdoche, man. a visual metaphor. there’s a reason the aliens in Independence Day don’t aim a huge laser at SNAP benefits

More like the wokest generation amirite?

I love when my work laptop stops recognizing my monitors while I’m using them

I think Democrats should run on a promise to demolish Trump's Epstein Memorial Ballroom should they win in 2028, tbh

I’m approaching 10 years in Charlotte and it’s been under construction the entire I’ve lived here

the president has destroyed the east wing of the white house without so much as a word of input from anyone else to build a royal ballroom paid for with bribes

centrist: Where do we go from here? We have to find common ground. We can't just call the other group "Nazis." At the end of the day, we're all just rich white men with podcasts.

Republican lawmaker: Welcome to Hitler Chat. I'm Hitler

Republican lawmaker 2: Hello. I am Hitler as well.

Do you think I’d explain my masterstroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I made the NYPD woke 35 minutes ago.

Quite a day.

Glad to see you moved on from your neighbor Karen

Instead of weee wooooo wee woooo, woke sirens go he/herrrrr he/herrrrrr

AFC East standings

🏈Patriots: 4-2
🏈Bills: 4-2
🏈Dolphins: 1-5
🏈Jets: 0-6

But in the end, it doesn’t even matter

I say this with love, some of you are going to lose your life savings to a man who says you have parking tickets that can only be paid in Target gift cards

When your custom character appears in a cut scene

history teacher in 50 years: So in September, that’s when the president signed an executive order criminalizing anti-fascism and saying all resistance would be crushed

student: oh so that’s when the whole country realized they were living under fascism

teacher: haha what? oh no lol not at all. no.

Love when they sit down and immediately buckle as the only person in the row while sitting on the aisle

Lenny deserves a treat Mina

Real Americans (tm) want to see the size of Optimus primes hog!

Want the answer now or do you want to save it for a show?

I just saw it and it’s beautiful

pats just had a punt return touchdown as well