Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
@schmrrrlex.bsky.social
mouldering lump of organic matter trapped in a series of social media accounts with diminishing returns
Pinned
schrödinger:
cat with a gun: I said get in the box
cat with a gun: I said get in the box
honey I mossed the kids. I turned them into moss. yes I realize that's much worse than shrinking them
February 14, 2026 at 9:55 PM
honey I mossed the kids. I turned them into moss. yes I realize that's much worse than shrinking them
here's a joke: what has four legs but doesn't walk?
*at the same time*
me: a table!
my strangest child: a dead zebra
*at the same time*
me: a table!
my strangest child: a dead zebra
February 14, 2026 at 9:41 PM
here's a joke: what has four legs but doesn't walk?
*at the same time*
me: a table!
my strangest child: a dead zebra
*at the same time*
me: a table!
my strangest child: a dead zebra
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
those beautiful naked women have made a compelling argument i am going to steer this ship into the rocks
November 19, 2024 at 3:06 PM
those beautiful naked women have made a compelling argument i am going to steer this ship into the rocks
it's over. I'm done. Columbia House finally found me
February 14, 2026 at 4:46 AM
it's over. I'm done. Columbia House finally found me
typing "social media has destroyed our ability to exist as normal, decent human beings instead of obsessive performative apes" into the little box on the social media app
February 13, 2026 at 5:35 PM
typing "social media has destroyed our ability to exist as normal, decent human beings instead of obsessive performative apes" into the little box on the social media app
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
Meet my newest creation: Drop the Semi-All-Knowing Egg of Enchantment and Mystery. I designed and hand-sewed her, and I hand-embroidered her flowers.
www.patreon.com/jeremycreature
www.patreon.com/jeremycreature
February 13, 2026 at 12:47 AM
Meet my newest creation: Drop the Semi-All-Knowing Egg of Enchantment and Mystery. I designed and hand-sewed her, and I hand-embroidered her flowers.
www.patreon.com/jeremycreature
www.patreon.com/jeremycreature
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
The Magic of Snow (2024)
Art Print: www.inprnt.com/gallery/ryot...
Art Print: www.inprnt.com/gallery/ryot...
December 18, 2025 at 6:31 AM
The Magic of Snow (2024)
Art Print: www.inprnt.com/gallery/ryot...
Art Print: www.inprnt.com/gallery/ryot...
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
Came back secondhand, born in thrift. It never could have all been brand new but some say there's an invoice somewhere. It would mean we're alive not just curses in old things. Me, I astral project to Etsy
February 9, 2026 at 5:43 AM
Came back secondhand, born in thrift. It never could have all been brand new but some say there's an invoice somewhere. It would mean we're alive not just curses in old things. Me, I astral project to Etsy
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
Let’s be honest: in many of these winter Olympic “sports”, the snow is doing most of the work. An unexpected thaw would expose these so-called athletes for the frauds they are
February 6, 2026 at 8:38 PM
Let’s be honest: in many of these winter Olympic “sports”, the snow is doing most of the work. An unexpected thaw would expose these so-called athletes for the frauds they are
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
Every Super Bowl ad is for the door in the forest. It’s annoying. “You must walk through the door.” Yeah thanks, I know that already. I dream of the door every night
February 9, 2026 at 12:38 AM
Every Super Bowl ad is for the door in the forest. It’s annoying. “You must walk through the door.” Yeah thanks, I know that already. I dream of the door every night
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
The clipboard is part of the ritual. Without it nothing will get checked off ritual paper with ritual pen during a step by step ritual consultation plus I never know what to do with my clipboardism practicing hand
February 7, 2026 at 5:40 AM
The clipboard is part of the ritual. Without it nothing will get checked off ritual paper with ritual pen during a step by step ritual consultation plus I never know what to do with my clipboardism practicing hand
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
Man I seen a seagull eat a duck once
February 7, 2026 at 1:46 PM
Man I seen a seagull eat a duck once
one of the most difficult things about getting older is it's a lot harder to catch lizards
February 7, 2026 at 10:03 AM
one of the most difficult things about getting older is it's a lot harder to catch lizards
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
Need a wrinkly bag for your thoughts? Try a brain™️.
February 6, 2026 at 1:21 PM
Need a wrinkly bag for your thoughts? Try a brain™️.
people joke about putting billionaires in guillotines but a trebuchet would be much funnier
February 5, 2026 at 9:01 PM
people joke about putting billionaires in guillotines but a trebuchet would be much funnier
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
me: did you finish inside me
surgeon: please stop saying it that way
surgeon: please stop saying it that way
September 1, 2023 at 7:27 PM
me: did you finish inside me
surgeon: please stop saying it that way
surgeon: please stop saying it that way
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
well well well look who it is, the lazy ass ferns that just laid browned and flaccid on the ground all winter wanna get all high and mighty now that its a little warmer outside. i wont forget your true nature now that youre standing erect you little shits
April 21, 2025 at 6:29 PM
well well well look who it is, the lazy ass ferns that just laid browned and flaccid on the ground all winter wanna get all high and mighty now that its a little warmer outside. i wont forget your true nature now that youre standing erect you little shits
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
After a lengthy appeals process and productive discussion with the Blue Sky safety team I will no loinger be sending George Thorogood lyrics to beautiful women on here via DM. Thank you all
February 4, 2026 at 5:02 PM
After a lengthy appeals process and productive discussion with the Blue Sky safety team I will no loinger be sending George Thorogood lyrics to beautiful women on here via DM. Thank you all
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
pulled pork = meat mulch
November 12, 2024 at 5:06 PM
pulled pork = meat mulch
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
me: so you can't actually swallow the cookies, you just mash them up? you must be starving
cookie monster: cookie is tragic figure, like hungry ghost of buddhist folklore
cookie monster: cookie is tragic figure, like hungry ghost of buddhist folklore
January 27, 2025 at 3:38 AM
me: so you can't actually swallow the cookies, you just mash them up? you must be starving
cookie monster: cookie is tragic figure, like hungry ghost of buddhist folklore
cookie monster: cookie is tragic figure, like hungry ghost of buddhist folklore
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
alien trying to fit in by starting a manosphere podcast: these hoes only want one thing... mineral-rich soil to take back to their dying planet
February 2, 2026 at 5:58 PM
alien trying to fit in by starting a manosphere podcast: these hoes only want one thing... mineral-rich soil to take back to their dying planet
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
relevant to many of yalls interests.
February 1, 2026 at 2:09 AM
relevant to many of yalls interests.
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
From: Jeffrey Epstein
To: Cain From The Bible
Date: March 7th, 3000BC
Subject: Re: Thinking of killing my brother? 👀👀
go for it it wouljld be extremlry sexy to invenf thr cornvept of murder snd yherefore curse mankind fur eternkity ;) ;)
To: Cain From The Bible
Date: March 7th, 3000BC
Subject: Re: Thinking of killing my brother? 👀👀
go for it it wouljld be extremlry sexy to invenf thr cornvept of murder snd yherefore curse mankind fur eternkity ;) ;)
January 31, 2026 at 2:18 PM
From: Jeffrey Epstein
To: Cain From The Bible
Date: March 7th, 3000BC
Subject: Re: Thinking of killing my brother? 👀👀
go for it it wouljld be extremlry sexy to invenf thr cornvept of murder snd yherefore curse mankind fur eternkity ;) ;)
To: Cain From The Bible
Date: March 7th, 3000BC
Subject: Re: Thinking of killing my brother? 👀👀
go for it it wouljld be extremlry sexy to invenf thr cornvept of murder snd yherefore curse mankind fur eternkity ;) ;)
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
sorry just found this in my spam folder r u guys still at the pedo island
January 31, 2026 at 6:39 PM
sorry just found this in my spam folder r u guys still at the pedo island
Reposted by Schmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlex
(living an unexamined life) yaaaaaay haha yay wheeeeee
December 4, 2025 at 1:44 AM
(living an unexamined life) yaaaaaay haha yay wheeeeee