emily🥂shitpost
@stefcomedyjam.bsky.social
President of the Moon
Pinned
emily🥂shitpost
@stefcomedyjam.bsky.social
· Jul 17
Explaining to my followers why my posts aren't that good.
Reposted by emily🥂shitpost
i dont want genAI. i dont want AI music or art or emails or whatever. what i want is for each roomba to have a unique personality
July 29, 2025 at 4:49 PM
i dont want genAI. i dont want AI music or art or emails or whatever. what i want is for each roomba to have a unique personality
One of the worst people I've ever met will be leaving our store to start a new career when she graduates in January. She's becoming a nurse.
July 24, 2025 at 2:53 PM
One of the worst people I've ever met will be leaving our store to start a new career when she graduates in January. She's becoming a nurse.
If you're a parent who allows your kids to look under the stalls in a public restroom with impunity, you will be first in the re-education camps i swear to high christ.
July 23, 2025 at 12:50 PM
If you're a parent who allows your kids to look under the stalls in a public restroom with impunity, you will be first in the re-education camps i swear to high christ.
Jasper Munch Sack
July 21, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Jasper Munch Sack
Reposted by emily🥂shitpost
in exactly 2 months I will be on my outer banks vacation youtu.be/qm8PGhGTCig?...
30 Rock: Nags Head
YouTube video by Samuraiiamawry
youtu.be
July 21, 2025 at 3:30 PM
in exactly 2 months I will be on my outer banks vacation youtu.be/qm8PGhGTCig?...
Reposted by emily🥂shitpost
Some of you are too young to have heard this joke, so here it goes...
So, a dog walks into a tavern and says "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one!"
So, a dog walks into a tavern and says "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one!"
July 21, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Some of you are too young to have heard this joke, so here it goes...
So, a dog walks into a tavern and says "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one!"
So, a dog walks into a tavern and says "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one!"
Reposted by emily🥂shitpost
Jubilee are a bunch of monstrous clout-mongering psychopaths, I will not watch the Mehdi Hasan video, because I know it will just be
Nazi: I am a Nazi (applause)
Mehdi: You're a Nazi. You just admitted that you're a Nazi (looking around)
Nazi: Yeah Heil Hitler (applause from entire studio)
Nazi: I am a Nazi (applause)
Mehdi: You're a Nazi. You just admitted that you're a Nazi (looking around)
Nazi: Yeah Heil Hitler (applause from entire studio)
July 21, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Jubilee are a bunch of monstrous clout-mongering psychopaths, I will not watch the Mehdi Hasan video, because I know it will just be
Nazi: I am a Nazi (applause)
Mehdi: You're a Nazi. You just admitted that you're a Nazi (looking around)
Nazi: Yeah Heil Hitler (applause from entire studio)
Nazi: I am a Nazi (applause)
Mehdi: You're a Nazi. You just admitted that you're a Nazi (looking around)
Nazi: Yeah Heil Hitler (applause from entire studio)
Reposted by emily🥂shitpost
no it wasn’t and no it didn’t
July 20, 2025 at 10:14 PM
no it wasn’t and no it didn’t
Reposted by emily🥂shitpost
First they came for the socialists, and I said nothing, because I was very sure they weren't going to come for anyone else.
July 21, 2025 at 12:42 AM
First they came for the socialists, and I said nothing, because I was very sure they weren't going to come for anyone else.
Reposted by emily🥂shitpost
Agree with this take 100%. Wife said there's gonna be "I Am In The Epstein Files" for sale at MAGA events soon and I think she's right. They're gonna celebrate it.
We’re one more revelation away from MAGA telling us that sexually abusing teenage girls is good, actually.
July 18, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Agree with this take 100%. Wife said there's gonna be "I Am In The Epstein Files" for sale at MAGA events soon and I think she's right. They're gonna celebrate it.
Reposted by emily🥂shitpost
just try the LLM dude just do it it's the future it lies and gives you psychosis man if you don't use it you'll get left behind dude
July 19, 2025 at 3:40 PM
just try the LLM dude just do it it's the future it lies and gives you psychosis man if you don't use it you'll get left behind dude
Reposted by emily🥂shitpost
These guys have been throwing random people into gulags without a second thought but they've suddenly rediscovered the concept of presumption of innocence
"I would give everybody a caveat... or, that's a big word, but a warning... that just because somebody flew on a plane doesn't mean they're a dadgum pedophile." - Rep. Tim Burchett, a Republican from Tennessee
July 20, 2025 at 7:54 PM
These guys have been throwing random people into gulags without a second thought but they've suddenly rediscovered the concept of presumption of innocence
The only way anyone should ever agree to be on one of those Jubilee debate videos is if you plan on self immolating on camera.
July 20, 2025 at 5:01 PM
The only way anyone should ever agree to be on one of those Jubilee debate videos is if you plan on self immolating on camera.
Reposted by emily🥂shitpost
question aside, i feel at a deep spiritual level that content such as this us, more than anything else, pornographic. it is pure spectacle reduced into a concentrate. vapid people with no skin in the game of life who are rewarded for being their worst possible selves. it is fundamentally not real.
I genuinely don’t know how we move forward when people like these exist
July 20, 2025 at 12:21 AM
question aside, i feel at a deep spiritual level that content such as this us, more than anything else, pornographic. it is pure spectacle reduced into a concentrate. vapid people with no skin in the game of life who are rewarded for being their worst possible selves. it is fundamentally not real.
Reposted by emily🥂shitpost
If that bitch Dolores says one more thing about my shrimp aspic salad she's getting the 'saw
July 19, 2025 at 11:57 PM
If that bitch Dolores says one more thing about my shrimp aspic salad she's getting the 'saw
Go home Prada, you're drunk
July 19, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Go home Prada, you're drunk
Reposted by emily🥂shitpost
nathan fielder (narrating): to truly feel the responsibility of airline captains, i needed to pilot the most important plane – air force one. but i couldn’t get the security clearance needed. so i went undercover as a qatari official and convinced the president i was gifting him a luxury boeing 747
May 12, 2025 at 4:49 PM
nathan fielder (narrating): to truly feel the responsibility of airline captains, i needed to pilot the most important plane – air force one. but i couldn’t get the security clearance needed. so i went undercover as a qatari official and convinced the president i was gifting him a luxury boeing 747
new pope is gonna sound like this
May 8, 2025 at 9:07 PM
new pope is gonna sound like this
Hey I finally got bluesky to run on my new phone.
April 30, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Hey I finally got bluesky to run on my new phone.
Reposted by emily🥂shitpost
I hate when people call the green m&m the sexy one, they are all sexy
March 15, 2025 at 4:15 PM
I hate when people call the green m&m the sexy one, they are all sexy
Reposted by emily🥂shitpost
Sorry, folks. All the "I bought this before I knew he was evil" bumper stickers in the world can't take the MAGA stench off your Model Y
March 11, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Sorry, folks. All the "I bought this before I knew he was evil" bumper stickers in the world can't take the MAGA stench off your Model Y
Reposted by emily🥂shitpost
Every Tesla dealership is now its own country like Vatican city
March 11, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Every Tesla dealership is now its own country like Vatican city
Reposted by emily🥂shitpost
Thank you.
THIS is the fucking language.
Losers. Weirdos. Creeps.
Fuck these fascists.
If you're not fighting them, you're helping them.
THIS is the fucking language.
Losers. Weirdos. Creeps.
Fuck these fascists.
If you're not fighting them, you're helping them.
America is under siege by a surprising force: losers.
America Is Under Siege by a Surprising Force: Losers
We’re not talking about this enough.
slate.com
March 10, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Thank you.
THIS is the fucking language.
Losers. Weirdos. Creeps.
Fuck these fascists.
If you're not fighting them, you're helping them.
THIS is the fucking language.
Losers. Weirdos. Creeps.
Fuck these fascists.
If you're not fighting them, you're helping them.