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Steve B

@stevebasnett.bsky.social

1.6K followers 2.2K following 15K posts

Repost/reskeet other people's funny, pro comedians' jokes, and sometimes my own tat. Regular new stuff every day. Also support outstanding investigative journalists and their work. #jokes #comedy #funny #laughs #satire #humour #pottymouth #serious

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Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · Jul 3

An apology from me to ALT text users.

I usually add descriptions which include humour to pics I upload, but I got some basics wrong:

It should NOT include:

"picture of"
"image of"

Screen readers announce an image as an image. “Image of a cat” would be read aloud as “image, Image of a cat”.

1/2

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Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · 4m

Aw. Wish I'd caught this one on the day it was posted.

Good one, Alistair, good one even after the event.

Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 5d

Date for your diaries:
Friday 10th October
9am (gmt): The Nobel Committee announces the recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize
9.01am (gmt): War declared on Norway

Reposted by Steve B

Matt Oakley @mattoakleymojo.bsky.social · 7d

On this day 1605 Guy Fawkes began his journey to London. It would take him several weeks because his legs were made of old tights stuffed with newspapers.

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Reposted by Steve B

HappyToast @happytoast.co.uk · 5d

Peter Serafinowicz and Vikki Michelle on House of Games, it's the start of the Marvel/Allo Allo universe we've all been waiting for.

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Reposted by Steve B

Michael F @michaelf617.bsky.social · 7d

I asked a Christian baker to write Charlie Kirk on a gay wedding cake and we've been staring at each other for 39 straight hours now

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Reposted by Steve B

𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @sundaedivine.bsky.social · 7d

Stephen Miller looks like the villain in a movie about tax audits.

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Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · 11m

I got away with it by pretending not to speak French.

Reposted by Steve B

Claudia @beeclaudia.bsky.social · 9d

If I were to commit a robbery there’d be signs

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Reposted by Steve B

👩‍🌾scareCru🌾 @carnitas.bsky.social · 6d

you don’t scare me.
you’re not my 2-year-old when i’m eating soup.

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Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · 14m

Superb.

*applause*

Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston.bsky.social · 4d

I'll never admit that I'm still the one who keeps stopping my wife's 'Man, I Feel Like a Woman' CD, because I've got pausable Shaniability.

#LunchPun

Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · 16m

The line's a cracker, but don't overlook the name of the poster for the bonus laugh.

Well played, PG, well played.

P.G. Wodelouse 💀 @pgwodelouse.bsky.social · 5d

Tell you what, for a guest on our planet, The Thing has a really fucking bad attitude

Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · 39m

My respect was high already, but now it's off the scale.

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Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · 42m

"Fuck the triffids. It's the day of the shitting giant fir trees zapping us with their laser eyes from the other side of the river," said Huckleberry to a none present Tom who was off in the bushes having his 14th wank of the day.

- Mark Twain

Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · 47m

Tom was none too impressed with Huckleberry's mighty fine effort to bring down a mocking bird with his strawberry squash hand cannon.

Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · 52m

Gonna chuck aubergine in there just for confusion.

[no one has written the word aubergine since 2017]

Viz Comic @vizcomic.bsky.social · 2h

subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz349bs

IN THE event of a
catastrophic oil-spill at sea,
haven't the likes of Shell and BP
considered throwing a load of
sliced mushrooms on the slick?
Them bastards hoover up all the
oil in the pan when I'm trying to
do a fry-up. Plus, a bedraggled
cormorant might appreciate a
snack whilst waiting to be rescued.
Eldon Furse, email

Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · 55m

Aw. The ref was just trying to cheer up the Portugals because tomorrow they return to fascist dictatorship.

No. No. There is never any excuse for that.

Reposted by Steve B

Professor SweetPants @ygrene.bsky.social · 10h

good morning only to people who aren't actively ruining other people's lives

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Reposted by Steve B

Professor SweetPants @ygrene.bsky.social · 2h

good afternoon and evening as well

no, not you

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Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · 59m

"You had me at oregano."

Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · 1h

Nobody puts Colonel in the corner.

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 2h

"There are TWELVE secret herbs & spices!” I scream as federal agents shove me into a black SUV

Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · 1h

Handy. Cheers. Will try to remember to come back and repost this tomorrow when I'm not doing Saturday night skeet laughs.

Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · 1h

Mumbles.

- niche gag.

Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · 1h

Mash up bands:

Carpenters Unstoppable Sex Machine

Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 1h

Mash up bands:

Foo Sisters

Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 1h

Mash up bands:

Van Fighters

Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · 1h

The Carpenters Unstoppable Sex Machine

Steve B @stevebasnett.bsky.social · 1h

Those hips don't lie.
Very nice try.
Made me cry.

Reposted by Steve B

Mark Watson @watsoncomedian.bsky.social · 1d

I had a biology teacher who regularly used to say he 'should get the Nobel Peace Prize here' for his work in quietening down the class. To my knowledge he never was recognised by the panel.

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