Sam Wiles
@votesamwiles.bsky.social
Pinned
You've created thousands of Jimmy Kimmels
September 19, 2025 at 2:33 AM
You've created thousands of Jimmy Kimmels
Kash Patel looking at the crowd through a big magnifying glass for antifa like it's where's waldo
September 11, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Kash Patel looking at the crowd through a big magnifying glass for antifa like it's where's waldo
I can't imagine what this is doing to Tenacious D right now
September 11, 2025 at 6:39 AM
I can't imagine what this is doing to Tenacious D right now
Reposted by Sam Wiles
As end-of-empire scenarios go it is so much more dignified to get your capital city sacked by the Visigoths than to have a bunch of illiterate rich people in their 70s doing it through a series of incomprehensible tantrums because their brains were defeated by their phones.
August 5, 2025 at 11:44 PM
As end-of-empire scenarios go it is so much more dignified to get your capital city sacked by the Visigoths than to have a bunch of illiterate rich people in their 70s doing it through a series of incomprehensible tantrums because their brains were defeated by their phones.
Zero stars for the new Naked Gun movie. Was really hoping for a meditation on grief
August 1, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Zero stars for the new Naked Gun movie. Was really hoping for a meditation on grief
[THEO VON WHEN HE INEVITABLY HAS GHISLAINE MAXWELL ON HIS PODCAST NEXT MONTH]: Wow so people say men and women can't be friends but you were straight up Jeffery's main guy huh?
July 26, 2025 at 4:51 AM
[THEO VON WHEN HE INEVITABLY HAS GHISLAINE MAXWELL ON HIS PODCAST NEXT MONTH]: Wow so people say men and women can't be friends but you were straight up Jeffery's main guy huh?
215-214. Thanks Gerry Connelly!
May 22, 2025 at 8:46 PM
215-214. Thanks Gerry Connelly!
Reposted by Sam Wiles
Reposted by Sam Wiles
the thing I hate most about that rfk quote is that autistic lives have value and worth and beauty and dignity whether they are able to do the things other people do or not. no one is defined by ability or lack thereof and to frame divergence as lack is monster stuff, utterly godless
April 19, 2025 at 12:05 AM
the thing I hate most about that rfk quote is that autistic lives have value and worth and beauty and dignity whether they are able to do the things other people do or not. no one is defined by ability or lack thereof and to frame divergence as lack is monster stuff, utterly godless
Reposted by Sam Wiles
‘Show Me Where You Make Autism!’ Shouts RFK Jr., Storming Sour Patch Kids Factory theonion.com/show-me...
‘Show Me Where You Make Autism!’ Shouts RFK Jr., Storming Sour Patch Kids Factory
EAST HANOVER, NJ—As part of the health secretary’s highly publicized pledge to determine the cause of the disorder in the next five months, a wild-eyed Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reportedly shouted “Show me where autism is made!” Thursday while storming the Sour Patch Kid factory. “Attention Sour Patch Factory people: Give me the autism and no […]
theonion.com
April 17, 2025 at 9:00 PM
‘Show Me Where You Make Autism!’ Shouts RFK Jr., Storming Sour Patch Kids Factory theonion.com/show-me...
Incredible that 30k people showed up at this rally in LA to demand Gavin Newsom move more to the right!
April 12, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Incredible that 30k people showed up at this rally in LA to demand Gavin Newsom move more to the right!
Reposted by Sam Wiles
Trans people: please use our correct pronouns and don't call us freaks
The Trump administration: if you publicly oppose genocide our secret police will disappear you and send you to a torture gulag in El Salvador
Centrists: these two things are the same
The Trump administration: if you publicly oppose genocide our secret police will disappear you and send you to a torture gulag in El Salvador
Centrists: these two things are the same
March 29, 2025 at 11:45 PM
Trans people: please use our correct pronouns and don't call us freaks
The Trump administration: if you publicly oppose genocide our secret police will disappear you and send you to a torture gulag in El Salvador
Centrists: these two things are the same
The Trump administration: if you publicly oppose genocide our secret police will disappear you and send you to a torture gulag in El Salvador
Centrists: these two things are the same
Reposted by Sam Wiles
EVERY SCIENTIST IN THE WORLD: vaccines are the safest and best way to prevent disease
RFK JR: I recommend rubbing dog poop in your eyes while doing the Macarena
RFK JR: I recommend rubbing dog poop in your eyes while doing the Macarena
March 29, 2025 at 3:39 PM
EVERY SCIENTIST IN THE WORLD: vaccines are the safest and best way to prevent disease
RFK JR: I recommend rubbing dog poop in your eyes while doing the Macarena
RFK JR: I recommend rubbing dog poop in your eyes while doing the Macarena
Reposted by Sam Wiles
I bought Twitter for $44,000,000,000 and sold it back to myself for $33,000,000,000. I have 43 kids and no friends. Everything I make explodes
March 29, 2025 at 1:12 PM
I bought Twitter for $44,000,000,000 and sold it back to myself for $33,000,000,000. I have 43 kids and no friends. Everything I make explodes
Reposted by Sam Wiles
It’s really funny for me to imagine all of the weird guys like Greg Proops in a meeting after Chuck Schumer capitulated to fascists saying “how can we pin this on Bernie Sanders and the dastardly white man AOC”
March 18, 2025 at 9:31 PM
It’s really funny for me to imagine all of the weird guys like Greg Proops in a meeting after Chuck Schumer capitulated to fascists saying “how can we pin this on Bernie Sanders and the dastardly white man AOC”
Reposted by Sam Wiles
i haven't watched white lotus but people are always like "OMG did you see the way CHARLES wears SOCKS!?"
March 17, 2025 at 3:56 PM
i haven't watched white lotus but people are always like "OMG did you see the way CHARLES wears SOCKS!?"
Reposted by Sam Wiles
mrs. gennaro I am sorry to have to tell you this but your husband was killed in a work accident. they made dinosaurs real for fun and he got eaten by one while sitting on the toilet. he wasn’t using it he died abandoning children
March 16, 2025 at 10:58 PM
mrs. gennaro I am sorry to have to tell you this but your husband was killed in a work accident. they made dinosaurs real for fun and he got eaten by one while sitting on the toilet. he wasn’t using it he died abandoning children
Reposted by Sam Wiles
During the Hays Code era a movie couldn't show people sharing a toilet
March 15, 2025 at 5:44 AM
During the Hays Code era a movie couldn't show people sharing a toilet
We're actually super nice to conservatives considering they all talk like this and have dog food for brains
March 10, 2025 at 9:22 PM
We're actually super nice to conservatives considering they all talk like this and have dog food for brains
Reposted by Sam Wiles
Stephen King saying “capital punishment is complex” doesn’t mean that it is. Maybe you also think clowns actually turn into big space spiders because he typed it
Going after the writer of The Green Mile as some sort of wicked person who has no idea of the complexities of capital punishment when the story is literally about the complexities of capital punishment, is not a great way to show you understand what irony is.
What if an innocent person is executed? The death penalty is absolute caveman nonsense and does nothing for anyone. It does not bring back the dead. HOW’S THAT FOR A HORROR STORY STEVE
March 9, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Stephen King saying “capital punishment is complex” doesn’t mean that it is. Maybe you also think clowns actually turn into big space spiders because he typed it
Reposted by Sam Wiles
man he really hates trans people huh. what is going on in your head where you think harris was one charlie kirk beer summit away from flipping all the swing states she lost?
March 6, 2025 at 8:48 PM
man he really hates trans people huh. what is going on in your head where you think harris was one charlie kirk beer summit away from flipping all the swing states she lost?
Reposted by Sam Wiles
god it must be so easy to be a Dem consultant, just sitting around making $250k a year to say things like "actually voters don't want healthcare, they want you to go to gun shows and start using the word orientals again"
March 3, 2025 at 5:24 PM
god it must be so easy to be a Dem consultant, just sitting around making $250k a year to say things like "actually voters don't want healthcare, they want you to go to gun shows and start using the word orientals again"
Reposted by Sam Wiles
You gotta hand it to Jim Varney for being able to make his face display an emotion that does not exist in nature
March 1, 2025 at 4:51 PM
You gotta hand it to Jim Varney for being able to make his face display an emotion that does not exist in nature