austin, a person
@austinaperson.bsky.social
it's not you; it's i
Nodding solemnly as my coworkers discuss how a movie’s quality does not always align with its IMDb rating
December 24, 2025 at 3:34 PM
Nodding solemnly as my coworkers discuss how a movie’s quality does not always align with its IMDb rating
A Lord of the Rings cover band called Samwise and the Gamgees
A Lord of the Rings cover band called Radagastr del Sol.
A Lord of the Rings cover band called Flock of Smeagols
December 20, 2025 at 10:57 PM
A Lord of the Rings cover band called Samwise and the Gamgees
It’s 4 pounds of bananas Michael. What could it cost—$100?
December 20, 2025 at 2:42 AM
It’s 4 pounds of bananas Michael. What could it cost—$100?
Guide to the icons on my company’s HR site: the little bell means notifications, the little person means user profile, and the twinkling stars means complicity
December 11, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Guide to the icons on my company’s HR site: the little bell means notifications, the little person means user profile, and the twinkling stars means complicity
Worst fucking instant replay system in existence
As Justice Kagan begins her dissent by pointing out, what is even the point of trial, of fact-finding, of clear error, of standards of review, when the Supreme Court simply ignores every single part of that and decides everything purely on the papers without any real consideration of the facts?
December 5, 2025 at 1:20 AM
Worst fucking instant replay system in existence
A little unnerved by the knuckle tattoos spelling BEAR and MEAT
idc i trust my kids with this man
November 24, 2025 at 7:06 PM
A little unnerved by the knuckle tattoos spelling BEAR and MEAT
H is for Hat. I is for Itchy monkey. J is for Jug.
November 24, 2025 at 2:10 PM
H is for Hat. I is for Itchy monkey. J is for Jug.
I read Chris Christie’s book. It was so short! Must’ve been abridged.
Cover said A Guide to Hiking the Appalachian Trail, by Mark Sandford, but inside was a different affair.
I’m reading a book about former congressman Mark Foley but it’s just got too many pages for me to handle.
November 24, 2025 at 12:26 AM
I read Chris Christie’s book. It was so short! Must’ve been abridged.
*first day as a drug dealer*
please choose a tip amount and press continue
please choose a tip amount and press continue
*first day as a drug dealer*
"Can I interest you in a warranty?"
"Can I interest you in a warranty?"
*first day as a drug dealer*
using any coupons today?
using any coupons today?
November 20, 2025 at 2:59 PM
*first day as a drug dealer*
please choose a tip amount and press continue
please choose a tip amount and press continue
When you’re wearing your Sunday best for your date with Perfidia Beverly Hills
I know the real concern is the lack of journalistic integrity but I think the real crime here is seeing this face and thinking to yourself "yes I need more of that" His eyes don't even line up. This is a clear case of royals inbreeding
November 15, 2025 at 12:26 AM
When you’re wearing your Sunday best for your date with Perfidia Beverly Hills
This is our understanding as of today. But rest assured that if new information emerges, I will treat that news with extreme skepticism so that our current understanding remains intact.
I just remembered this from Glenn Kessler 3 months ago
November 13, 2025 at 5:53 PM
This is our understanding as of today. But rest assured that if new information emerges, I will treat that news with extreme skepticism so that our current understanding remains intact.
I agree. Great job,, everyone!!!!!!!!
Every time a shitload of government or corpo emails get leaked I am flabbergasted at how bad everyone in power is at writing emails.
November 12, 2025 at 5:08 PM
I agree. Great job,, everyone!!!!!!!!
Stands to reason that if we lose by winning we can win by losing
November 12, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Stands to reason that if we lose by winning we can win by losing
dropped it because it was hot, no simile needed
i didnt drop it like its hot i dropped it because im clumsy
November 11, 2025 at 4:05 AM
dropped it because it was hot, no simile needed
; &!
Also ;
November 11, 2025 at 3:58 AM
; &!
Reposted by austin, a person
Um, pretty sure that should be SuchasSuchas Hwy
November 7, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Um, pretty sure that should be SuchasSuchas Hwy
Becky with the Pre-Raphaelite hair
November 5, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Becky with the Pre-Raphaelite hair
My wife continues to praise me for how successfully I am goodbye lenining her
The wife has reiterated her request that I goodbye Lenin her if things do not go the right way
The wife has formally requested that I “goodbye Lenin her” if zohran loses
#moviesky
#moviesky
November 5, 2025 at 1:37 PM
My wife continues to praise me for how successfully I am goodbye lenining her
Reposted by austin, a person
A pro-affordability, anti-Trump-corruption message unites the party. Every candidate can run on that, and every candidate can have their own take to fit that to their constituents. There's really no need to find fights to pick when the party agrees on more than it disagrees
Came here to say this, but Jamelle Bouie has this covered. 👇
When the Democratic tent includes candidates like Spanberger and Mamdani, there is no crisis, or fight, for the party. IT’S A COALITION, NOT A POINT ESTIMATE.
When the Democratic tent includes candidates like Spanberger and Mamdani, there is no crisis, or fight, for the party. IT’S A COALITION, NOT A POINT ESTIMATE.
i want to repeat this: mamdani and spanberger have run similar campaigns tailored to their respective electorates and it is maddening to watch political journalists attempt to create some broad contrast where none exist
November 5, 2025 at 2:15 AM
A pro-affordability, anti-Trump-corruption message unites the party. Every candidate can run on that, and every candidate can have their own take to fit that to their constituents. There's really no need to find fights to pick when the party agrees on more than it disagrees
The wife has reiterated her request that I goodbye Lenin her if things do not go the right way
The wife has formally requested that I “goodbye Lenin her” if zohran loses
#moviesky
#moviesky
November 5, 2025 at 2:02 AM
The wife has reiterated her request that I goodbye Lenin her if things do not go the right way
And after the break we’ll have your Geico keys to the game
November 3, 2025 at 4:31 PM
And after the break we’ll have your Geico keys to the game
Change one letter, ruin a candy.
Reese’s nieces
Reese’s nieces
Milky Wad
Change one letter, ruin a candy.
Demonheads
Demonheads
October 30, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Change one letter, ruin a candy.
Reese’s nieces
Reese’s nieces
Reposted by austin, a person
Priest: *running from confessional hyperventilating*
Me: *chasing after him* "HEY! WAIT, THERE’S MORE."
Me: *chasing after him* "HEY! WAIT, THERE’S MORE."
October 25, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Priest: *running from confessional hyperventilating*
Me: *chasing after him* "HEY! WAIT, THERE’S MORE."
Me: *chasing after him* "HEY! WAIT, THERE’S MORE."
"Friends" is a beloved American sitcom that aired from 1994 to 2004, following six young adults—Rachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe—living in New York City. The show explores their friendships, romances, careers, and personal growth over ten seasons.
October 23, 2025 at 12:29 PM
"Friends" is a beloved American sitcom that aired from 1994 to 2004, following six young adults—Rachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe—living in New York City. The show explores their friendships, romances, careers, and personal growth over ten seasons.