@blueharvested.bsky.social
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a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, everything was totally fucked up. this is the story of three losers, a wolfman, and their two robot friends
February 2, 2026 at 5:43 AM
a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, everything was totally fucked up. this is the story of three losers, a wolfman, and their two robot friends
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genuinely one of the dumbest people on the internet
February 2, 2026 at 2:11 AM
genuinely one of the dumbest people on the internet
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It’s a cop playing candy crush and falling asleep in his cruiser for 14 hours. The city will be billed for six hours of overtime
February 1, 2026 at 9:05 PM
It’s a cop playing candy crush and falling asleep in his cruiser for 14 hours. The city will be billed for six hours of overtime
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I hate living in the Asshole Cinematic Universe.
“So the King of Pedophiles got the 4chan guy to make the Nazi board and that’s why the host of Celebrity Apprentice was made immune to laws by the Tradcath Illuminati. This has something to do with video game journalism, maybe?”
Fuck off.
“So the King of Pedophiles got the 4chan guy to make the Nazi board and that’s why the host of Celebrity Apprentice was made immune to laws by the Tradcath Illuminati. This has something to do with video game journalism, maybe?”
Fuck off.
January 31, 2026 at 1:02 PM
I hate living in the Asshole Cinematic Universe.
“So the King of Pedophiles got the 4chan guy to make the Nazi board and that’s why the host of Celebrity Apprentice was made immune to laws by the Tradcath Illuminati. This has something to do with video game journalism, maybe?”
Fuck off.
“So the King of Pedophiles got the 4chan guy to make the Nazi board and that’s why the host of Celebrity Apprentice was made immune to laws by the Tradcath Illuminati. This has something to do with video game journalism, maybe?”
Fuck off.
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every epstein commentary is these immensely rich/powerful/influential people raving about what a genius epstein was, and every one of his emails is just “helo, my name jomfrie”
January 31, 2026 at 4:28 AM
every epstein commentary is these immensely rich/powerful/influential people raving about what a genius epstein was, and every one of his emails is just “helo, my name jomfrie”
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We need to talk about the rise of "smol bean fascism" where you have all the guns and the immunity but the really scary people are the ones with whistles and phone cameras and they're giving you generational trauma and ptsd by filming you killing people for no reason
January 28, 2026 at 9:25 PM
We need to talk about the rise of "smol bean fascism" where you have all the guns and the immunity but the really scary people are the ones with whistles and phone cameras and they're giving you generational trauma and ptsd by filming you killing people for no reason
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What part of “Kanye got bonked on the head with a coconut that made him love Hitler” don’t you understand
January 27, 2026 at 9:37 AM
What part of “Kanye got bonked on the head with a coconut that made him love Hitler” don’t you understand
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Downfall Bovino Edition. You're welcome.
January 27, 2026 at 5:36 AM
Downfall Bovino Edition. You're welcome.
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Henlo, I’m havf to informe the you tathse cate feedign timbe.
January 25, 2026 at 10:28 AM
Henlo, I’m havf to informe the you tathse cate feedign timbe.
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Look, I believe in casts, but if a parent has strongly-held anti-cast beliefs, they should be allowed to let their kid’s broken arm grow back all floppy and fucked up, even to the point of lifelong, debilitating pain. And that’s not child abuse because a kid’s bones are their parents’ property
January 23, 2026 at 10:58 PM
Look, I believe in casts, but if a parent has strongly-held anti-cast beliefs, they should be allowed to let their kid’s broken arm grow back all floppy and fucked up, even to the point of lifelong, debilitating pain. And that’s not child abuse because a kid’s bones are their parents’ property
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Someone pointed out that influencers use serotonin/dopamine/cortisol/oxytocin like they’re the four humors and now I can’t stop seeing it
March 20, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Someone pointed out that influencers use serotonin/dopamine/cortisol/oxytocin like they’re the four humors and now I can’t stop seeing it
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one recorded instance of immortality in all of human history and the universe gave it to “jafar from aladdin if he was russian and drunk”
January 20, 2026 at 8:28 AM
one recorded instance of immortality in all of human history and the universe gave it to “jafar from aladdin if he was russian and drunk”
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We have a finite amount of time to spend thinking while on this earth and I am very resentful of how much of it has been monopolized by the whims of a demented old real estate scumbag
January 20, 2026 at 3:15 AM
We have a finite amount of time to spend thinking while on this earth and I am very resentful of how much of it has been monopolized by the whims of a demented old real estate scumbag
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The Nobel Peace Prize becoming so prestigious that wars are fought over a head of state coveting it is some real monkey paw stuff for Alfred Nobel.
January 19, 2026 at 8:47 AM
The Nobel Peace Prize becoming so prestigious that wars are fought over a head of state coveting it is some real monkey paw stuff for Alfred Nobel.
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Please... one of you capitalist ghouls, please explain to me... why can't the wage slave sing? You've already broken him. He's already a dog in a cage. You can't let this sad motherfucker have any joy at all?
Insane.
Insane.
This is the fucking limit. I had no idea that Amazon drivers AREN'T ALLOWED TO SING
wat
CRUSH this monopoly wtf my levels were already redlining
www.theguardian.com/us-news/ng-i...
wat
CRUSH this monopoly wtf my levels were already redlining
www.theguardian.com/us-news/ng-i...
January 18, 2026 at 8:38 PM
Please... one of you capitalist ghouls, please explain to me... why can't the wage slave sing? You've already broken him. He's already a dog in a cage. You can't let this sad motherfucker have any joy at all?
Insane.
Insane.
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Child’s Blow Into Car Breathalyzer Rewarded With Dicey Trip To Ice Cream Shop
Child’s Blow Into Car Breathalyzer Rewarded With Dicey Trip To Ice Cream Shop
MILWAUKEE—After instructing his 5-year-old son to imagine a bunch of birthday candles at the other end of the tube, local dad Rick Cerney, 41, reportedly rewarded the child’s blow into his car Breatha...
theonion.com
January 18, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Child’s Blow Into Car Breathalyzer Rewarded With Dicey Trip To Ice Cream Shop
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“Do not engage in a winter campaign in bitterly cold areas. You will lose not just your army, but most likely your throne.” - literally every military historian ever
“GET IN THE CAR, LOSERS, WE’RE GONNA INVADE MINNESOTA IN LATE JANUARY” - the Trump administration
“GET IN THE CAR, LOSERS, WE’RE GONNA INVADE MINNESOTA IN LATE JANUARY” - the Trump administration
January 17, 2026 at 5:01 PM
“Do not engage in a winter campaign in bitterly cold areas. You will lose not just your army, but most likely your throne.” - literally every military historian ever
“GET IN THE CAR, LOSERS, WE’RE GONNA INVADE MINNESOTA IN LATE JANUARY” - the Trump administration
“GET IN THE CAR, LOSERS, WE’RE GONNA INVADE MINNESOTA IN LATE JANUARY” - the Trump administration
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If you work for ice please understand that your kids will laugh at a character based on you dying in an action movie before the end of the decade. They’ll be in movies for really little kids. Like Phineas and Ferb shit. There will be an action figure of you with a detachable head
January 17, 2026 at 8:40 PM
If you work for ice please understand that your kids will laugh at a character based on you dying in an action movie before the end of the decade. They’ll be in movies for really little kids. Like Phineas and Ferb shit. There will be an action figure of you with a detachable head
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fantastic work here
January 13, 2026 at 7:47 PM
fantastic work here
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Tonight at family dinner my 1 year old baby son looked up at me with big wavering eyes and asked "Daddy, how can we best stand with ICE and the rule of law against leftist hordes who would see our most prized institutions made fodder for goats?" I fucking hate him
January 14, 2026 at 9:17 AM
Tonight at family dinner my 1 year old baby son looked up at me with big wavering eyes and asked "Daddy, how can we best stand with ICE and the rule of law against leftist hordes who would see our most prized institutions made fodder for goats?" I fucking hate him
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living in a world where the only two jobs are “gambling” and “murder” isn’t nearly as cool as Cowboy Bebop made it out to be
January 12, 2026 at 3:47 PM
living in a world where the only two jobs are “gambling” and “murder” isn’t nearly as cool as Cowboy Bebop made it out to be
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i was the only home whose cable didn’t go out when the sopranos finale aired and it showed tony looking up and seeing two guys walk into the restaurant holding hands. then it cut back to tony shrugging, which you have to understand in 2007 was a very powerful statement
January 6, 2026 at 11:10 PM
i was the only home whose cable didn’t go out when the sopranos finale aired and it showed tony looking up and seeing two guys walk into the restaurant holding hands. then it cut back to tony shrugging, which you have to understand in 2007 was a very powerful statement
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remember to leave bullet casings out for ashli babbitt tonight ❤️❤️✝️
January 6, 2026 at 7:07 AM
remember to leave bullet casings out for ashli babbitt tonight ❤️❤️✝️
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probably bc it looked sick as hell
January 5, 2026 at 7:16 AM
probably bc it looked sick as hell
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You gotta admit it's really funny that Trump is cognitively at about the level of a lower beast in one of Aesop's fables.
WH sources say Venezuela's opposition leader committed the "ultimate sin": She accepted the Nobel Peace prize.
“If she had turned it down and said, ‘I can’t accept it because it’s Donald Trump’s,’ she’d be the president of Venezuela today,” one said.
www.washingtonpost.com/national-sec...
“If she had turned it down and said, ‘I can’t accept it because it’s Donald Trump’s,’ she’d be the president of Venezuela today,” one said.
www.washingtonpost.com/national-sec...
January 5, 2026 at 3:35 AM
You gotta admit it's really funny that Trump is cognitively at about the level of a lower beast in one of Aesop's fables.