Dan Ploaich
@danploaich.bsky.social
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
FRIEND: happy new-
ME: time is an artificial construct divided into units that measure our march towards death
FRIEND: -year
ME: you too
ME: time is an artificial construct divided into units that measure our march towards death
FRIEND: -year
ME: you too
December 31, 2025 at 9:46 PM
FRIEND: happy new-
ME: time is an artificial construct divided into units that measure our march towards death
FRIEND: -year
ME: you too
ME: time is an artificial construct divided into units that measure our march towards death
FRIEND: -year
ME: you too
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
you (plebeian, unrefined): Die Hard is a Christmas movie
me (worldly, sophisticated): Die Hard is a Christmas film
me (worldly, sophisticated): Die Hard is a Christmas film
December 13, 2024 at 12:59 AM
you (plebeian, unrefined): Die Hard is a Christmas movie
me (worldly, sophisticated): Die Hard is a Christmas film
me (worldly, sophisticated): Die Hard is a Christmas film
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
he had them apple color jeans coat w/ the fur
the whole house was
w/o a stir
he hit the snow
next thing u know
Santa said
hohohoho
hohohoho
the whole house was
w/o a stir
he hit the snow
next thing u know
Santa said
hohohoho
hohohoho
December 24, 2024 at 10:30 PM
he had them apple color jeans coat w/ the fur
the whole house was
w/o a stir
he hit the snow
next thing u know
Santa said
hohohoho
hohohoho
the whole house was
w/o a stir
he hit the snow
next thing u know
Santa said
hohohoho
hohohoho
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
We wish you Baby it’s
a Merry cold outside
Christmas
🤝
we won’t go
until we get some
a Merry cold outside
Christmas
🤝
we won’t go
until we get some
December 8, 2024 at 12:43 AM
We wish you Baby it’s
a Merry cold outside
Christmas
🤝
we won’t go
until we get some
a Merry cold outside
Christmas
🤝
we won’t go
until we get some
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
not unique to wikipedia but i love that every list of "wrestling controversies" is like
- double murder suicide
- they booked the world title bad
- industrial accident murder
- they booked the world title bad
- organized crime murder
- organized crime murder
- double murder suicide
- they booked the world title bad
- industrial accident murder
- they booked the world title bad
- organized crime murder
- organized crime murder
August 13, 2025 at 1:48 PM
not unique to wikipedia but i love that every list of "wrestling controversies" is like
- double murder suicide
- they booked the world title bad
- industrial accident murder
- they booked the world title bad
- organized crime murder
- organized crime murder
- double murder suicide
- they booked the world title bad
- industrial accident murder
- they booked the world title bad
- organized crime murder
- organized crime murder
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
My "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
January 16, 2025 at 3:55 AM
My "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
"Edward, I gave you scissors for hands, but don't let that define who you are"
Ok. BTW what's my last name?
"Scissorhands"
Ok. BTW what's my last name?
"Scissorhands"
September 25, 2023 at 3:49 PM
"Edward, I gave you scissors for hands, but don't let that define who you are"
Ok. BTW what's my last name?
"Scissorhands"
Ok. BTW what's my last name?
"Scissorhands"
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
Remember in the 90s when pro wrestling admitted it was all a work, churches should do that
October 19, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Remember in the 90s when pro wrestling admitted it was all a work, churches should do that
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
I find it baffling how little impact the existence of the Undertaker, a literal walking corpse, has had on science and religion
October 9, 2025 at 3:28 AM
I find it baffling how little impact the existence of the Undertaker, a literal walking corpse, has had on science and religion
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
Poll Finds Americans Still Believe Greatest Threat To Public Health The Undertaker theonion.com/poll-fi...
August 15, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Poll Finds Americans Still Believe Greatest Threat To Public Health The Undertaker theonion.com/poll-fi...
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
Go for it. I don't even care any more.
August 2, 2025 at 5:13 AM
Go for it. I don't even care any more.
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
[July 4, 1776]
THOMAS JEFFERSON: *seals envelope* Make sure this gets to the King
[2 weeks later]
KING OF ENGLAND: *opens envelope and starts reading* Updog? What’s updog?
BEN FRANKLIN: *explodes into the room* JUST DECLARING INDEPENDENCE FROM TYRANNY WHAT’S UP WITH YOU
THOMAS JEFFERSON: *seals envelope* Make sure this gets to the King
[2 weeks later]
KING OF ENGLAND: *opens envelope and starts reading* Updog? What’s updog?
BEN FRANKLIN: *explodes into the room* JUST DECLARING INDEPENDENCE FROM TYRANNY WHAT’S UP WITH YOU
July 4, 2025 at 2:55 PM
[July 4, 1776]
THOMAS JEFFERSON: *seals envelope* Make sure this gets to the King
[2 weeks later]
KING OF ENGLAND: *opens envelope and starts reading* Updog? What’s updog?
BEN FRANKLIN: *explodes into the room* JUST DECLARING INDEPENDENCE FROM TYRANNY WHAT’S UP WITH YOU
THOMAS JEFFERSON: *seals envelope* Make sure this gets to the King
[2 weeks later]
KING OF ENGLAND: *opens envelope and starts reading* Updog? What’s updog?
BEN FRANKLIN: *explodes into the room* JUST DECLARING INDEPENDENCE FROM TYRANNY WHAT’S UP WITH YOU
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
SUBLIME GUY: I don’t practice Santeria
ME: *picking up pieces of broken Santeria off the ground* well maybe you should
ME: *picking up pieces of broken Santeria off the ground* well maybe you should
June 8, 2025 at 3:07 AM
SUBLIME GUY: I don’t practice Santeria
ME: *picking up pieces of broken Santeria off the ground* well maybe you should
ME: *picking up pieces of broken Santeria off the ground* well maybe you should
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
Oh wrestling is fake?
Then explain this
Then explain this
May 11, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Oh wrestling is fake?
Then explain this
Then explain this
I just watched a commercial for a drug that one of the side effects was “having trouble thinking” shit I have that everyday without drugs.
May 12, 2025 at 1:25 AM
I just watched a commercial for a drug that one of the side effects was “having trouble thinking” shit I have that everyday without drugs.
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
*books flight to Monaco*
*sprints to race track*
*gasping for breath*
Your….your mom
*sprints to race track*
*gasping for breath*
Your….your mom
December 9, 2024 at 2:30 AM
*books flight to Monaco*
*sprints to race track*
*gasping for breath*
Your….your mom
*sprints to race track*
*gasping for breath*
Your….your mom
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
Once again my horse "Two Drunk Guys in a Horse Costume" has failed to win the Kentucky Derby
May 4, 2025 at 4:13 AM
Once again my horse "Two Drunk Guys in a Horse Costume" has failed to win the Kentucky Derby
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
TEEN: you’re the only one who understands me danny. my stupid dad won’t let me go see billie eilish with gretchen
AI CHATBOT DANIEL PLAINVIEW FROM THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Your father is a bastard. Fit for a hole in the ground. You will go with Gretchen. Even if your father must die, as a bastard dies
AI CHATBOT DANIEL PLAINVIEW FROM THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Your father is a bastard. Fit for a hole in the ground. You will go with Gretchen. Even if your father must die, as a bastard dies
December 30, 2024 at 10:46 PM
TEEN: you’re the only one who understands me danny. my stupid dad won’t let me go see billie eilish with gretchen
AI CHATBOT DANIEL PLAINVIEW FROM THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Your father is a bastard. Fit for a hole in the ground. You will go with Gretchen. Even if your father must die, as a bastard dies
AI CHATBOT DANIEL PLAINVIEW FROM THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Your father is a bastard. Fit for a hole in the ground. You will go with Gretchen. Even if your father must die, as a bastard dies
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
ME: I know you from somewhere
JESUS: I get that a lot
ME: No I’m sure
JESUS: Just one of those faces
ME: [holding my arms out] Go like this
JESUS: I get that a lot
ME: No I’m sure
JESUS: Just one of those faces
ME: [holding my arms out] Go like this
July 18, 2023 at 8:28 PM
ME: I know you from somewhere
JESUS: I get that a lot
ME: No I’m sure
JESUS: Just one of those faces
ME: [holding my arms out] Go like this
JESUS: I get that a lot
ME: No I’m sure
JESUS: Just one of those faces
ME: [holding my arms out] Go like this
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
[last supper]
Jesus: *raising chalice* let us sup
Judas: what's sup?
Jesus: Not much what's up with you lmao
Judas: this is the last straw
Jesus: *raising chalice* let us sup
Judas: what's sup?
Jesus: Not much what's up with you lmao
Judas: this is the last straw
March 29, 2024 at 12:54 PM
[last supper]
Jesus: *raising chalice* let us sup
Judas: what's sup?
Jesus: Not much what's up with you lmao
Judas: this is the last straw
Jesus: *raising chalice* let us sup
Judas: what's sup?
Jesus: Not much what's up with you lmao
Judas: this is the last straw
There is a commercial where they say “you never know where you stand with retail workers” or something like that. I can tell you, me personally that if you are a person who takes chilled or frozen items and just leaves them out on regular grocery shelves. I wish you were dead after you were born.
April 7, 2025 at 12:50 AM
There is a commercial where they say “you never know where you stand with retail workers” or something like that. I can tell you, me personally that if you are a person who takes chilled or frozen items and just leaves them out on regular grocery shelves. I wish you were dead after you were born.
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
"you have to sympathize with the trump voter who thought..."
no. sorry. I will not be doing that.
no. sorry. I will not be doing that.
April 3, 2025 at 12:24 AM
"you have to sympathize with the trump voter who thought..."
no. sorry. I will not be doing that.
no. sorry. I will not be doing that.
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
thin lizzy lyric that had always confused me: “tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak/somewhere in this town” - like wouldn’t that clearly be happening at the jail?
March 30, 2025 at 6:37 PM
thin lizzy lyric that had always confused me: “tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak/somewhere in this town” - like wouldn’t that clearly be happening at the jail?
Reposted by Dan Ploaich
These JFK files are crazy
March 19, 2025 at 4:39 PM
These JFK files are crazy