Faux_Real
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faux.bsky.social
Faux_Real
@faux.bsky.social
Charles Wesley Hames

Nicene Beard Robot - Ars Delenda Est
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centuries ago, the bone thugs lived n harmony
January 21, 2026 at 7:09 PM
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i'm the one good american. everyone here sucks except for me
January 21, 2026 at 7:46 PM
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I don’t know, I just think “now that you’re suffering, I don’t like you, and now that you’re already on the ground, I want to kick you” is the ugliest part of human nature and the work of a life has to include recognizing and trying to destroy that impulse within oneself and broadly in one’s world
January 21, 2026 at 5:44 PM
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Better batten down the hatches. Ted Cruz is getting on a plane to Laguna Beach in winter.
January 21, 2026 at 6:15 AM
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January 21, 2026 at 5:49 PM
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fwiw i too would kill tristan instantly
January 21, 2026 at 6:14 PM
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I would like to spend more time waking up to people I love and care about instead of waking up and spending as much time possible avoiding learning about whatever the newest absolutely insane thing has happened is.
January 21, 2026 at 4:40 PM
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i know it stings to come up with a plan for "twitter but for credulous tech troglodytes" only to have the great lord of the tech troglodytes buy the actual twitter and eat your entire lunch and the table it was on while the old and gay rats beneath flee to your half-finished table. but it's funny
personally i don't care what people talk about on here as long as it continues to be stuff that clearly pisses off the staff because they can't make money off it
January 21, 2026 at 3:38 PM
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I'm not a young man. I've been watching the weather for 50+ years. This may be the most significant winter storm I've seen.
January 20, 2026 at 9:49 PM
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millions of texans seeing this and going, yeah, i should probably run to heb and stock up on some stuff
Ted Cruz starts seeing his breath outside and immediately gets the fuck outta Texas.
January 21, 2026 at 6:28 AM
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It’s always important to go and talk to your listeners
January 21, 2026 at 7:30 AM
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i do think if we’re going to have to live in the fascist manchild empire we should at least be allowed to have the guy that made the phantom menace documentary filming literally everything going on inside the white house
January 21, 2026 at 5:16 AM
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Ah shit they're saying our days as the global hegemon are over. I was really materially benefiting from that. :(
January 21, 2026 at 1:27 PM
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there's basically two ways to create shareholder value

1 - make good stuff people want

2 - fire everyone who knows what they're doing even if the doors fly off your airplanes and make up some wild shit about how autocorrect is going to make it all better eventually

we are unfortunately in era 2
January 21, 2026 at 1:00 PM
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Brooklyn, N.Y.
January 21, 2026 at 2:37 PM
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Facebook reminds me that on this day in 2017 a woman turned to me in the veg section of Sainsbury's and said "hopefully now we've left the EU we can have loose carrots that aren't wet"
January 21, 2026 at 6:56 AM
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when I tell you that number made feel ill, like literally I felt like throwing up

its so upsetting and no one wants to talk about how Trump and Musk intentionally killed ALL these people because they were not white.
"To date, 757,314 people – the majority children – have died from the funding cuts, according to ImpactCounter, which tracks the effect of USAID cuts via sophisticated modelling tools. That is 88 deaths every hour."
One Year Later: The Effect of US 'Chainsaw' on Global Health healthpolicy-watch.news/the-human-co...
January 21, 2026 at 3:14 AM
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they gotta be trolling me
January 21, 2026 at 12:11 AM
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Democrats celebrating getting body cams for ICE is wild. One of the main reasons they exist is to create content of themselves punishing the foes of their racist, pedophile leader. Now my taxes are gonna pay for that too. Thanks!
January 20, 2026 at 9:37 PM
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(scrolling Bluesky) I reject the premise. I reject the premise. Granted. I reject the premise. Not my fetish. Granted. I reject the premise. Funny. I reject the premise.
January 20, 2026 at 2:00 AM
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Q: How do I unlock Sunglasses Macron?
A: It's very difficult to unlock Sunglasses Macron in the course of a normal game because it requires a specific and unlikely sequence of events. While default Macron is ruler of France, the USA must choose the monarchy path and then lay claim to Greenland.
January 20, 2026 at 3:04 PM
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Have seen many variations of this & broadly agree—but the part that struck me in the moment wasn’t “this is a microcosm for how America sucks” — it was “this is a microcosm for trying to behave democratically & respectfully of one another in a complex, evolving situation with things we can't know.”
i feel like the viral bus thread resonates because at every step of the way you're like "ok surely this will be resolved shortly, any second now," which seems like what all the passengers are also thinking. then the fact that the situation doesn't resolve and the bus just keeps going is an Allegory
January 20, 2026 at 11:15 PM
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This is the most astonishing graph of what the Trump regime has done to US science. They have destroyed the federal science workforce across the board. The negative impacts on Americans will be felt for generations, and the US might never be the same again.

www.nature.com/immersive/d4...
January 20, 2026 at 10:53 PM
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I cannot afford regular therapy but I *can* afford to get tattooed a couple times a year
January 20, 2026 at 10:51 PM
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it's the same thing with the armed paramilitary squads prowling our cities. it's always been something like this for many black communities as far as presumptions of guilt, summary executions, and lack of accountability. possible the nazis may regret tearing down the last vestiges of civil society
January 20, 2026 at 10:40 PM