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lisabug

@lisabug.bsky.social

10K followers 4.5K following 2.2K posts

Welcome to LisaWorld San Francisco 🌉 Pun 👸🏽 🐈‍⬛ 🐈 Mom Pisces ♓ 🌎Orbit: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sh3x2xhofujvvkdpg2udbmf4/feed/aaakvlozerilu 🐈Beliefs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sh3x2xhofujvvkdpg2udbmf4/feed/aaaekyll5zymq

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lisabug @lisabug.bsky.social · Jun 17

Two packs of Doritos falling from a vending machine are some of my fondest childhood memories.

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lisabug @lisabug.bsky.social · Dec 5

*hears dogs bark*

“I’ve been caught stealing
once when I was 5.”

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 17h

many adolescents go through a phase of shoplifting. Fortunately, adolescents tend to be quite weak and shops tend to be really heavy

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Billhelm @kaiserbillhelm.bsky.social · 13h

The only time I tried shoplifting I dropped it and now my foot is cartoonishly flat

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Corduroy Cheddar @corduroycheddar.bsky.social · 10h

I once accidentally shoplifted a pencil so you could definitely say I'm a bad guy addicted to danger

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Corduroy Cheddar @corduroycheddar.bsky.social · 11h

A fatal flaw in the script of The Terminator is that a true terminator would have terminated the contract for the assignment immediately

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lisabug @lisabug.bsky.social · 8h

Roman: “Any last words?”

Jesus: “I’ll be back.”

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 17h

My ancestors were good Danes.

No, they were GREAT Danes.

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Stace Fiction @girlawhirl.bsky.social · 18h

Olive oil not tasting like martinis is why I have trust issues.

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Billhelm @kaiserbillhelm.bsky.social · 1d

You know, for being named after something extra virgin, Olive Oyl was trying *real* hard to get into Popeye’s pants

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 1d

Just remember, you’re only one or two life decisions away from shopping for camper toilets on Amazon

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 1d

“Girl, he is not worth the bangs on your face”

- me, as a therapist

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lisabug @lisabug.bsky.social · 1d

Thank you! I love our ladies' night in! 🥰❤️😍🤗😘💋💋

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 1d

🎶 she’s some kind of wonderful, yes she is 🎶

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 2d

Did it hurt?

When you ordered Chinese for yourself but they included 3 forks and fortune cookies?

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 1d

“I look ridiculous.”
“I think you look adorable.”
“I won’t be made a fool, Steve.”
“Just one more picture.”
“Fine, but after this...”
“I know, I know. Nevermore.”