Matt Colbert
@mattcolbert.bsky.social
Reposted by Matt Colbert
Mafia goon: Nice house you got here...it'd be a shame if something happened to it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
January 21, 2026 at 2:36 PM
Mafia goon: Nice house you got here...it'd be a shame if something happened to it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
Reposted by Matt Colbert
Average Sunday show interview:
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
January 18, 2026 at 3:53 PM
Average Sunday show interview:
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
Reposted by Matt Colbert
gotdamn
DOKOUPIL: When I travel the country, they tell me they don't feel it because grocery prices are up--
TRUMP: They're going to now. I've only been here for 11 months. I inherited a mess. If she got in, you wouldn't have this job right now.
TRUMP: They're going to now. I've only been here for 11 months. I inherited a mess. If she got in, you wouldn't have this job right now.
January 13, 2026 at 11:57 PM
gotdamn
Reposted by Matt Colbert
this is not behavior becoming of a FIFA Peace Prize recipient.
December 15, 2025 at 8:18 PM
this is not behavior becoming of a FIFA Peace Prize recipient.
Reposted by Matt Colbert
CHATGPT: I understand where you're coming from. You worked really hard to get here, and now it's time to enjoy the fruit of your labors.
ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't
CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart.
ISILDUR: true
ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't
CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart.
ISILDUR: true
October 6, 2025 at 1:58 PM
CHATGPT: I understand where you're coming from. You worked really hard to get here, and now it's time to enjoy the fruit of your labors.
ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't
CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart.
ISILDUR: true
ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't
CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart.
ISILDUR: true
Reposted by Matt Colbert
Looks like the Jonas Brothers have decided to be standing up to cancer in partnership with the MLB. Pretty cool
August 15, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Looks like the Jonas Brothers have decided to be standing up to cancer in partnership with the MLB. Pretty cool
Reposted by Matt Colbert
listen we all know how to solve this
make 👏 Platner 👏 do 👏 an 👏 interview 👏 with 👏 Chotiner 👏
make 👏 Platner 👏 do 👏 an 👏 interview 👏 with 👏 Chotiner 👏
October 22, 2025 at 10:23 PM
listen we all know how to solve this
make 👏 Platner 👏 do 👏 an 👏 interview 👏 with 👏 Chotiner 👏
make 👏 Platner 👏 do 👏 an 👏 interview 👏 with 👏 Chotiner 👏
Reposted by Matt Colbert
I feel like a lot of our political moment stems down to tens of millions of Americans literally incapable of imagining something worse than someone being annoying.
September 26, 2025 at 12:03 AM
I feel like a lot of our political moment stems down to tens of millions of Americans literally incapable of imagining something worse than someone being annoying.
Reposted by Matt Colbert
/normal person watching this "Haha, I love it. I understand all of it and also it's the kind of thing I'm into! These people are my friends."
Watters: What is it like being married to Stephen Miller?
Miller: He's an incredibly inspiring man who gets me going in the morning with his speeches being like let's start the day, I'm going to defeat the left and we are going to win.
Miller: He's an incredibly inspiring man who gets me going in the morning with his speeches being like let's start the day, I'm going to defeat the left and we are going to win.
September 24, 2025 at 3:24 AM
/normal person watching this "Haha, I love it. I understand all of it and also it's the kind of thing I'm into! These people are my friends."
Reposted by Matt Colbert
“ill see you in valhalla” is not something i would ever say in memory of a friend. its something i would say to a $28 Hamburger
September 21, 2025 at 1:45 AM
“ill see you in valhalla” is not something i would ever say in memory of a friend. its something i would say to a $28 Hamburger
Reposted by Matt Colbert
I would read an essay on why this is. It’s fascinating.
Coffee shops are the heart of darkness for republicans. All their horror stories take place inside them. They have taken the place of the forest in middle American gothic.
Starbucks says surveillance clears an employee who’d been accused of writing “Loser” on a cup when someone ordered Charlie Kirk’s “favorite drink.”
The accusation was originally posted by a Republican party official. It forced the store to shut down for safety.
blockclubchicago.org/2025/09/19/v...
The accusation was originally posted by a Republican party official. It forced the store to shut down for safety.
blockclubchicago.org/2025/09/19/v...
September 20, 2025 at 2:29 AM
I would read an essay on why this is. It’s fascinating.
Reposted by Matt Colbert
starbucks looms large in these peoples minds. it is a location near their massive suburban home and inside it is a LEFTIST YOUTH who will look at them haughtily
Starbucks says surveillance clears an employee who’d been accused of writing “Loser” on a cup when someone ordered Charlie Kirk’s “favorite drink.”
The accusation was originally posted by a Republican party official. It forced the store to shut down for safety.
blockclubchicago.org/2025/09/19/v...
The accusation was originally posted by a Republican party official. It forced the store to shut down for safety.
blockclubchicago.org/2025/09/19/v...
September 19, 2025 at 10:57 PM
starbucks looms large in these peoples minds. it is a location near their massive suburban home and inside it is a LEFTIST YOUTH who will look at them haughtily
Reposted by Matt Colbert
No bailouts.
American soybean farmers don’t have a single order from China as they head into harvest season. China usually buys 25% of the entire crop.
Crisis looms for the farmers and there’s only one man responsible.
Crisis looms for the farmers and there’s only one man responsible.
Farmer says 'we're in a very dire situation' ahead of harvest—with zero soybean orders from China, historically the largest buyer | Fortune
Caleb Ragland says his pleas to the Trump administration have fallen on deaf ears.
fortune.com
September 14, 2025 at 11:04 PM
No bailouts.
Reposted by Matt Colbert
please do not post the idiocracy gif, president camacho actually let the nerd run things in hopes things would improve
September 5, 2025 at 8:08 PM
please do not post the idiocracy gif, president camacho actually let the nerd run things in hopes things would improve
Reposted by Matt Colbert
We failed to prosecute some folks
August 26, 2025 at 12:47 AM
We failed to prosecute some folks
Reposted by Matt Colbert
Reposted by Matt Colbert
I love to show up every day for my job, which is standing around holding the front of my tactical vest and getting told to choke to death by thousands of passers-by while 11 of my coworkers handcuff a roofer on his way to work. Every night I drive 80 minutes home, thinking about nothing at all.
August 19, 2025 at 3:16 AM
I love to show up every day for my job, which is standing around holding the front of my tactical vest and getting told to choke to death by thousands of passers-by while 11 of my coworkers handcuff a roofer on his way to work. Every night I drive 80 minutes home, thinking about nothing at all.
Reposted by Matt Colbert
just lost $100,000 on a polymarket bet that trump would negotiate a peace deal today with putin. i was sure of it. i can't believe i lost all this money. he wrote the art of the deal.
August 16, 2025 at 12:00 AM
just lost $100,000 on a polymarket bet that trump would negotiate a peace deal today with putin. i was sure of it. i can't believe i lost all this money. he wrote the art of the deal.
Reposted by Matt Colbert
Grossly irresponsible of the Times to have this ludicrous credulous spin as the top story the morning after a president who rules by fiat proclaims a totally specious emergency to militarize the capital - an editorial insult to our intelligence and our democracy.
August 12, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Grossly irresponsible of the Times to have this ludicrous credulous spin as the top story the morning after a president who rules by fiat proclaims a totally specious emergency to militarize the capital - an editorial insult to our intelligence and our democracy.
Reposted by Matt Colbert
This is a disgrace - the United States spitting on its own soldiers because they come from a minority the ruling clique holds in contempt. The people who made this decision have a special circle of hell waiting for them; liberals should fight to the bitter end to give these soldiers their due.
WASHINGTON (AP) - US Air Force says it will deny retirement pay to transgender service members being separated from the service.
August 7, 2025 at 8:58 PM
This is a disgrace - the United States spitting on its own soldiers because they come from a minority the ruling clique holds in contempt. The people who made this decision have a special circle of hell waiting for them; liberals should fight to the bitter end to give these soldiers their due.
Reposted by Matt Colbert
CONTENT ADVISORY: PLEASE BE WARNED THAT THE DEADLINE FOR ALL POSTS ABOUT "AMERICAN EAGLE" AND "SYDNEY SWEENEY" HAS PASSED. IF YOU ARE FOUND IN VIOLATION YOU WILL BE FINED 1500 CLOUT POINTS AND A LABUBU.
August 4, 2025 at 3:46 PM
CONTENT ADVISORY: PLEASE BE WARNED THAT THE DEADLINE FOR ALL POSTS ABOUT "AMERICAN EAGLE" AND "SYDNEY SWEENEY" HAS PASSED. IF YOU ARE FOUND IN VIOLATION YOU WILL BE FINED 1500 CLOUT POINTS AND A LABUBU.
Reposted by Matt Colbert
There's only two possible reasons to transfer Ghislaine Maxwell to a minimum security prison, and both of them mean that she won't be staying there for very long.
August 1, 2025 at 4:22 PM
There's only two possible reasons to transfer Ghislaine Maxwell to a minimum security prison, and both of them mean that she won't be staying there for very long.
Reposted by Matt Colbert
Dersh has been banging this drum since Trump1 & the really good news is: ostracism works, even on the shameless.
Tons of people miss this--the shameless are hyper-sensitive to stigma.
Civil society should use this free, non-violent tool to punish destructive people a lot more often. It works.
Tons of people miss this--the shameless are hyper-sensitive to stigma.
Civil society should use this free, non-violent tool to punish destructive people a lot more often. It works.
Dershowitz says he’s suing the Martha’s Vineyard Farmer’s Market after the pierogi guy refused to sell to him yesterday because he defends Trump. He complains that he’s also banned from the MV book fair, library, synagogue, and can’t get invited to any parties.
July 31, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Dersh has been banging this drum since Trump1 & the really good news is: ostracism works, even on the shameless.
Tons of people miss this--the shameless are hyper-sensitive to stigma.
Civil society should use this free, non-violent tool to punish destructive people a lot more often. It works.
Tons of people miss this--the shameless are hyper-sensitive to stigma.
Civil society should use this free, non-violent tool to punish destructive people a lot more often. It works.
Reposted by Matt Colbert
Federal Art Project, 1937
July 25, 2025 at 2:34 AM
Federal Art Project, 1937