Ms. Mushroom 🍄
@mushroom-gills.bsky.social
She/her, mom, Midwestern, termagant and/or virago.
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
I invented a new phone to help save time in the morning
April 19, 2025 at 1:45 PM
I invented a new phone to help save time in the morning
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I fire my sidearm into the air every time 2026 tries to get close but the sun is setting and the fire is growing weak
December 31, 2025 at 10:32 PM
I fire my sidearm into the air every time 2026 tries to get close but the sun is setting and the fire is growing weak
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
Hell of a year.
…No wait, I meant "Year Of Hell."
Sorry, I always get those confused.
…No wait, I meant "Year Of Hell."
Sorry, I always get those confused.
December 30, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Hell of a year.
…No wait, I meant "Year Of Hell."
Sorry, I always get those confused.
…No wait, I meant "Year Of Hell."
Sorry, I always get those confused.
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
Do you want a haunted ass? Because this is how you get a haunted ass.
December 28, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Do you want a haunted ass? Because this is how you get a haunted ass.
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
My new year's resolution this year, as every year, is to be a more available, supportive friend as well as an increasingly looming, formidable enemy.
December 27, 2025 at 5:13 PM
My new year's resolution this year, as every year, is to be a more available, supportive friend as well as an increasingly looming, formidable enemy.
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
who up thinking about the darkness that lurks in their fellow man’s heart
December 20, 2025 at 3:26 AM
who up thinking about the darkness that lurks in their fellow man’s heart
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
my unruly teen is becoming a bluesman and dedicating his life to wandering around the mississippi delta with nothing but a guitar and his word instead of becoming a doctor
December 25, 2025 at 11:38 AM
my unruly teen is becoming a bluesman and dedicating his life to wandering around the mississippi delta with nothing but a guitar and his word instead of becoming a doctor
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
Tiny Tim, who did NOT hit her. He did not. Oh hi, ghost
December 25, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Tiny Tim, who did NOT hit her. He did not. Oh hi, ghost
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
December 24, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
We don’t hear much about the West Pole, where Cowboy Santa lives. Probably because of all the people he’s shot
February 13, 2025 at 7:54 PM
We don’t hear much about the West Pole, where Cowboy Santa lives. Probably because of all the people he’s shot
Me, when I see my husband’s my kids’ full stockings hanging next to my empty one. Mine’s just a big flat sock 😉 behttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FOVCtUdaMCU
Christmas Robe - SNL
YouTube video by Saturday Night Live
m.youtube.com
December 25, 2025 at 6:38 AM
Me, when I see my husband’s my kids’ full stockings hanging next to my empty one. Mine’s just a big flat sock 😉 behttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FOVCtUdaMCU
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
me, the moment it says “out for delivery”
December 22, 2025 at 1:32 PM
me, the moment it says “out for delivery”
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
it's unanimous: guys who look like they make you answer a riddle to cross their bridge aren't apologizing
December 21, 2025 at 7:54 PM
it's unanimous: guys who look like they make you answer a riddle to cross their bridge aren't apologizing
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
I don't know about you all, but I like to hang my stockings by the chimney haphazardly.
December 19, 2025 at 8:30 PM
I don't know about you all, but I like to hang my stockings by the chimney haphazardly.
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
Terrifying headline if you don’t realize they are sports teams.
December 19, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Terrifying headline if you don’t realize they are sports teams.
Every single week my neighbor has four guys simultaneously using leaf blowers on every inch of his yard for nearly two hours. I am not exaggerating.
December 19, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Every single week my neighbor has four guys simultaneously using leaf blowers on every inch of his yard for nearly two hours. I am not exaggerating.
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
I love my two blackout drunk Minnesota sons
December 18, 2025 at 2:17 PM
I love my two blackout drunk Minnesota sons
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Pour one out for Dan Bongino
December 17, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Pour one out for Dan Bongino
Me, to anyone asking at any point prior to 12/24 whether I’m finished with all of my Christmas shopping yet:
a man in a blue shirt is making a funny face with the words `` it 's '' written above him .
Alt: GIF of Tim Robinson saying “it’s illegal for you to ask me that”
media.tenor.com
December 16, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Me, to anyone asking at any point prior to 12/24 whether I’m finished with all of my Christmas shopping yet:
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
The kind .. you find … in a second hand store
December 14, 2025 at 10:54 AM
The kind .. you find … in a second hand store
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
The average medieval peasant could not buy a gas station delta 9 gummy and watch “Scooter Fail Compilation 5” on YouTube, which makes it difficult to compare GDP across time
November 26, 2025 at 5:03 AM
The average medieval peasant could not buy a gas station delta 9 gummy and watch “Scooter Fail Compilation 5” on YouTube, which makes it difficult to compare GDP across time
Woke up to the monstrosity that is the Liquid Glass update on my iPhone. Why? Who wanted this? To what end?
December 11, 2025 at 1:39 PM
Woke up to the monstrosity that is the Liquid Glass update on my iPhone. Why? Who wanted this? To what end?
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
Every legal story now is either
Ancient Circuit Judge Delivers Crystal Clear 100 Page Rebuke To Trumpist Overreach
or
In Unsigned Shadow Docket Decision, 6-3 Majority Declares Trump Can Hunt People For Sport
Ancient Circuit Judge Delivers Crystal Clear 100 Page Rebuke To Trumpist Overreach
or
In Unsigned Shadow Docket Decision, 6-3 Majority Declares Trump Can Hunt People For Sport
October 3, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Every legal story now is either
Ancient Circuit Judge Delivers Crystal Clear 100 Page Rebuke To Trumpist Overreach
or
In Unsigned Shadow Docket Decision, 6-3 Majority Declares Trump Can Hunt People For Sport
Ancient Circuit Judge Delivers Crystal Clear 100 Page Rebuke To Trumpist Overreach
or
In Unsigned Shadow Docket Decision, 6-3 Majority Declares Trump Can Hunt People For Sport
Reposted by Ms. Mushroom 🍄
December 10, 2025 at 1:44 AM