Pancake Genius
@pancakegenius.bsky.social
Reposted by Pancake Genius
it is incredible that the entire high level legal apparatus of the United States is "anything that helps people is impossible, anything that kills people is permitted"
January 3, 2026 at 2:24 PM
it is incredible that the entire high level legal apparatus of the United States is "anything that helps people is impossible, anything that kills people is permitted"
Reposted by Pancake Genius
He cut a large wedge of white celery cheese, arranging it on a platter with some salad, roasted turnips and carrots, and a farl of warm brown bread.
January 1, 2026 at 6:30 AM
He cut a large wedge of white celery cheese, arranging it on a platter with some salad, roasted turnips and carrots, and a farl of warm brown bread.
Reposted by Pancake Genius
why she looks like the moon in Majora's Mask
December 13, 2025 at 2:39 AM
why she looks like the moon in Majora's Mask
Reposted by Pancake Genius
if i was around back in the day i'd be correctly suspicious of land bridges. "what if there's an ice age and we get stranded over there" the tribe groans but they know i'm right
December 11, 2025 at 11:57 AM
if i was around back in the day i'd be correctly suspicious of land bridges. "what if there's an ice age and we get stranded over there" the tribe groans but they know i'm right
Reposted by Pancake Genius
imagining an all night diner in a redwall world. little rat smoking while cooking on a flaptop. burned coffee in an acorn mug. the whole thing is inside a pumpkin
December 9, 2025 at 3:36 AM
imagining an all night diner in a redwall world. little rat smoking while cooking on a flaptop. burned coffee in an acorn mug. the whole thing is inside a pumpkin
Reposted by Pancake Genius
Years ago I was suspended on Twitter for inviting Marco Rubio to swallow ten D batteries, which I don’t see how it could be a threat; he and I were not even in the same room and I have at most six D batteries on hand
November 14, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Years ago I was suspended on Twitter for inviting Marco Rubio to swallow ten D batteries, which I don’t see how it could be a threat; he and I were not even in the same room and I have at most six D batteries on hand
Reposted by Pancake Genius
me in the downtown area of any city on earth: but despite all of our differences, are we not all siblings and friends?
me driving on a highway anywhere on earth: i support the total eradication of the human race and i vote
me driving on a highway anywhere on earth: i support the total eradication of the human race and i vote
When I am in any city: "wow, I love this city!"
September 9, 2025 at 4:57 PM
me in the downtown area of any city on earth: but despite all of our differences, are we not all siblings and friends?
me driving on a highway anywhere on earth: i support the total eradication of the human race and i vote
me driving on a highway anywhere on earth: i support the total eradication of the human race and i vote
Reposted by Pancake Genius
cop: did he send any texts around the time of the crash?
cop 2: he sent a post that reads “padding my three track album with 26 skits and interludes”
cop: not bad but it ain’t going viral
cop 2: posting isn’t just about going viral
cop: (sighs) not this shit again
cop 2: he sent a post that reads “padding my three track album with 26 skits and interludes”
cop: not bad but it ain’t going viral
cop 2: posting isn’t just about going viral
cop: (sighs) not this shit again
October 31, 2025 at 2:51 AM
cop: did he send any texts around the time of the crash?
cop 2: he sent a post that reads “padding my three track album with 26 skits and interludes”
cop: not bad but it ain’t going viral
cop 2: posting isn’t just about going viral
cop: (sighs) not this shit again
cop 2: he sent a post that reads “padding my three track album with 26 skits and interludes”
cop: not bad but it ain’t going viral
cop 2: posting isn’t just about going viral
cop: (sighs) not this shit again
Reposted by Pancake Genius
Reposted by Pancake Genius
i’m running for president in 2028, this is my platform:
- no more spam texts and calls
- smaller cars with weaker headlights
- imprison every person in ice and the trump administration on a remote island for a thousand years
- no more spam texts and calls
- smaller cars with weaker headlights
- imprison every person in ice and the trump administration on a remote island for a thousand years
October 11, 2025 at 2:54 PM
i’m running for president in 2028, this is my platform:
- no more spam texts and calls
- smaller cars with weaker headlights
- imprison every person in ice and the trump administration on a remote island for a thousand years
- no more spam texts and calls
- smaller cars with weaker headlights
- imprison every person in ice and the trump administration on a remote island for a thousand years
Reposted by Pancake Genius
(final thought as i'm swiftly slain by a band of ninja assassins) kind of a crazy amount of ninjas to hire for this
September 29, 2025 at 1:02 PM
(final thought as i'm swiftly slain by a band of ninja assassins) kind of a crazy amount of ninjas to hire for this
Reposted by Pancake Genius
Reposted by Pancake Genius
(me making fun of your crop rotation idea and thereby holding our people back another 5000 years) jeff thinks the beans have to take turns lmao
August 7, 2023 at 6:38 AM
(me making fun of your crop rotation idea and thereby holding our people back another 5000 years) jeff thinks the beans have to take turns lmao
Reposted by Pancake Genius
A team of researchers has come to the conclusion that I am not actually sentient, only capable of a high degree of rote memorization "like some parrots". They're very thrilled about it, I find it all very offensive, but only succeed in verbalising that about 70% of the time.
November 9, 2023 at 7:59 PM
A team of researchers has come to the conclusion that I am not actually sentient, only capable of a high degree of rote memorization "like some parrots". They're very thrilled about it, I find it all very offensive, but only succeed in verbalising that about 70% of the time.
Reposted by Pancake Genius
throwing my undying support behind any candidate who pledges to round up everyone doing scam calls/texts and put them to the sword
July 29, 2025 at 5:29 PM
throwing my undying support behind any candidate who pledges to round up everyone doing scam calls/texts and put them to the sword
Reposted by Pancake Genius
Reposted by Pancake Genius
Reposted by Pancake Genius
They're literally doing the meme
June 3, 2025 at 10:16 PM
They're literally doing the meme
Reposted by Pancake Genius
my bullshit detector is going ape shit. and my ape shit detector is going bananas
February 11, 2024 at 6:02 PM
my bullshit detector is going ape shit. and my ape shit detector is going bananas
Reposted by Pancake Genius
YOUR LOVE: A cold and broken Hallelujah
MY LOVE: The spacious, comfortable and smooth-riding Hallelujah 6000
MY LOVE: The spacious, comfortable and smooth-riding Hallelujah 6000
November 15, 2023 at 1:49 PM
YOUR LOVE: A cold and broken Hallelujah
MY LOVE: The spacious, comfortable and smooth-riding Hallelujah 6000
MY LOVE: The spacious, comfortable and smooth-riding Hallelujah 6000
Reposted by Pancake Genius
![Deep South tobacco CEO voice] Now ah, this here ah, Bowsuh charactuh... enlighten me as to hhwhy Mistuh Mario's got such animus for the boy](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:izxpomdyri45gzhppiiyattq/bafkreignkh64lbdh6fqchxt2l2voz66aicteqghexnqzqlb46txs4unuju@jpeg)
Reposted by Pancake Genius
Without exaggerating - and I think this is really something - I think that Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is the stupidest person we have had in a cabinet position this millennium. There might be somebody more obscure under Reagan but post-Clinton I can’t think of anybody who is outright flat fuckin stupider
May 13, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Without exaggerating - and I think this is really something - I think that Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is the stupidest person we have had in a cabinet position this millennium. There might be somebody more obscure under Reagan but post-Clinton I can’t think of anybody who is outright flat fuckin stupider
Personal win of the week: my toddler who normally subsists on sunlight and milk asked for seconds of the dinner I made.
April 27, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Personal win of the week: my toddler who normally subsists on sunlight and milk asked for seconds of the dinner I made.
Reposted by Pancake Genius
Finally can upload this here.
March 10, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Finally can upload this here.
Reposted by Pancake Genius
The Moby Dick fandom is dying. Retweet if you're a true Dickhead
March 10, 2025 at 4:51 AM
The Moby Dick fandom is dying. Retweet if you're a true Dickhead