The American Jerk
@theamericanjerk.bsky.social
I'm not answering any Goddamned questions without my lawyer here.
V for Vendetta.
Ok, everyone, what book is sacred enough to you to get sworn in on?
Strange takes on Mayor Zamdani swearing his oath on the Qu’ran. It has nothing to do with church & state. The point of the oath is for the person swearing in to do so upon some text that is sacred TO THEM. Some Presidents swore in w/o any book. John Quincy Adams was sworn on a law book. His choice.
January 2, 2026 at 2:49 AM
V for Vendetta.
Reposted by The American Jerk
The energy I’m bringing into the new year
January 1, 2026 at 7:08 PM
The energy I’m bringing into the new year
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Time to start on my New Year’s retributions.
December 29, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Time to start on my New Year’s retributions.
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I wish you all courage in the new year. Courage above all else. And revenge.
December 31, 2025 at 11:14 PM
I wish you all courage in the new year. Courage above all else. And revenge.
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This was a good year. All I had to do was turn off the Internet.
December 31, 2025 at 9:28 PM
This was a good year. All I had to do was turn off the Internet.
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So what I’m reading here is that it costs at least $150 for me to get the kind of experience I would enjoy
Tesla will charge you $150 for puking or smoking in its robotaxis, report says
There's a $50 fee for more "moderate" messes left behind.
mashable.com
December 29, 2025 at 7:07 PM
So what I’m reading here is that it costs at least $150 for me to get the kind of experience I would enjoy
Post a perfect album from the 90s that isn't Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam or Alice in Chains.
December 28, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Post a perfect album from the 90s that isn't Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam or Alice in Chains.
You're Goddamned right.
Here's a comprehensive list of the #TTRPGs I plan to run in 2026:
1) Traveller
2) Traveller
3) Traveller
4) Traveller
5) Traveller
1) Traveller
2) Traveller
3) Traveller
4) Traveller
5) Traveller
December 26, 2025 at 11:41 PM
You're Goddamned right.
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@scoop-adw.bsky.social Found the other pita-crazed cat.
December 25, 2025 at 10:53 PM
@scoop-adw.bsky.social Found the other pita-crazed cat.
Reposted by The American Jerk
my people
I think the 4K Blu-ray subreddit might be the least toxic male space online
OP: Upgraded my player!
First comment: Nice! What are you going to play on it first?!
Second comment: Not the OP but I would choose Gladiator!
I typed this from memory, but this is real, this is what happens on there
OP: Upgraded my player!
First comment: Nice! What are you going to play on it first?!
Second comment: Not the OP but I would choose Gladiator!
I typed this from memory, but this is real, this is what happens on there
December 25, 2025 at 6:54 AM
my people
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Malört
I don’t give a shit about your accomplishments this year. What’s the dumbest shit you did the past 12 months? The truly stupidest decision you made in 2025?
December 24, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Malört
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![Why is the cat screaming [pic of cat]
1. why wouldn't the cat scream
2. if you were smart, you'd be doing the same thing](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:dbzmdmsaz6lkhb4tv3culzme/bafkreieh465czg43heb6mpkgvaics4w4jmp3c2q7sghcryyiy6k4db2kau@jpeg)
There are seven working defenses from this position. Three of them disarm with minimal contact. Three of them kill. The other — hurts Tiny Tim, who did NOT die
December 24, 2025 at 2:54 PM
There are seven working defenses from this position. Three of them disarm with minimal contact. Three of them kill. The other — hurts Tiny Tim, who did NOT die
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"The stockings were hung by the chimney in all possible directions, like with no care at all. Some of them are on the floor ffs. It's like a laundry basket was hurled at the goddam fireplace...and oh...fantastic...now here comes St Nicholas."
December 24, 2025 at 12:27 AM
"The stockings were hung by the chimney in all possible directions, like with no care at all. Some of them are on the floor ffs. It's like a laundry basket was hurled at the goddam fireplace...and oh...fantastic...now here comes St Nicholas."
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And to Tiny Tim, who did NOT die. He was unable to. He still walks among us, cursed to remember in a world where everyone has forgotten. He’s out there now, just beyond the light your lantern throws,
December 23, 2025 at 9:55 PM
And to Tiny Tim, who did NOT die. He was unable to. He still walks among us, cursed to remember in a world where everyone has forgotten. He’s out there now, just beyond the light your lantern throws,
Eephus was a killer indie flick this past year. If you like baseball, or New England, even a little bit, it's on Blu, hunt it up.
I wrote about Eephus for this, but there was a lot of very compelling competition, much of which my coworkers covered. Pretty good year for watching stuff, all told! defector.com/the-best-thi...
The Best Things We Saw In 2025 | Defector
This is what the Defector staff saw and enjoyed this year. Eephus There was a time when I could text a friend about getting a drink at 4:50 p.m. and be drinking that beer with them an hour later, but ...
defector.com
December 23, 2025 at 4:25 PM
Eephus was a killer indie flick this past year. If you like baseball, or New England, even a little bit, it's on Blu, hunt it up.
Reposted by The American Jerk
I’m still trick-or-treating. The people have run out of candy. One lady gave me the keys to her Buick. Another guy hit me with a broom
December 22, 2025 at 1:18 PM
I’m still trick-or-treating. The people have run out of candy. One lady gave me the keys to her Buick. Another guy hit me with a broom
Your parents refusing to allow you to turn off the motion smoothing on their TV should automatically trigger a mental health care proxy in your favor
December 23, 2025 at 2:40 PM
Your parents refusing to allow you to turn off the motion smoothing on their TV should automatically trigger a mental health care proxy in your favor
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i get why “jumping the shark” has come to have its present meaning but it doesn’t make historical sense to me. if i were a Happy Days fan and saw the Fonz waterski over a shark at that time i would have felt we’d just won the Cold War
December 23, 2025 at 4:28 AM
i get why “jumping the shark” has come to have its present meaning but it doesn’t make historical sense to me. if i were a Happy Days fan and saw the Fonz waterski over a shark at that time i would have felt we’d just won the Cold War
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Reposted by The American Jerk
If your first child requires a large, bright iPad to stop them from shrieking, and your second is on just their second week of solid food, why the FUCK are they, and YOU, sitting next to me in this bar?
December 13, 2025 at 11:30 PM
If your first child requires a large, bright iPad to stop them from shrieking, and your second is on just their second week of solid food, why the FUCK are they, and YOU, sitting next to me in this bar?
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Sam Altman: hey I made a machine that stole literally all your stuff in order to make CSAM of your child actors, sometimes it encourages people to kill themselves
Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars
Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars
Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
December 12, 2025 at 10:27 AM
Sam Altman: hey I made a machine that stole literally all your stuff in order to make CSAM of your child actors, sometimes it encourages people to kill themselves
Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars
Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars
Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.