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Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 1d

What a shitty thing to say, I love that

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 1d

They only have four strings so they should be called ‘ivolins’.

Thanks for reading.

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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 2d

could a depressed person do this?

[eats a third bagel]

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Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 2d

One more time but with less feeling.

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Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 2d

Now that Rush has a female drummer, there will be at least one woman in the building during their concerts.

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Not JPo @notjpo.bsky.social · 3d

Hugs, except with stabbing

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 4d

[ scrubs dog barf out of carpet ]

[ checks for abs ]

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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 4d

I don’t even remember how to do mastodon ffs
toots? c’mon… fuckin servers and shit jfc I don’t wanna go through all this again
WHERE IS 2012 TWITTER can’t we just go there?
fuck

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stuforreal.bsky.social @stuforreal.bsky.social · 4d

Cracking a beer at ten thirty am it's called maturity you should look in to it

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Amish Super Model @amishsupermodel.bsky.social · 3d

Trump’s not targeting political violence. He’s inciting political violence against his political opposition.

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Salty in the South @saltyinthesouth.bsky.social · 5d

Straight Outta Nordstrom

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Matty @bestestname.bsky.social · 5d

Trump threatens to invade Norway to capture Peace Prize

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 6d

Burying some 12-foot skeletons in my garden just to fuck with future archaeologists.

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 6d

“I don’t need to wear deodorant”

~ people who need to wear deodorant

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 7d

*doing shots of Mountain Dew

Still punk as fuck.

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richie @theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 10d

if you find yourself arguing with yourself from something you said five days ago you’re my kind of people

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 9d

Friend: I found your doppelganger

*shows you picture of the worst looking person you've ever seen in your life*

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Bart @bartandsoulforreal.bsky.social · 12d

You wearing a short skirt and long jacket?

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 13d

Finally got around to watching Pete Hegseth's lecture on warrior ethos, and I've seen less performative machismo from The Village People than from this limp dicked loser. Secretary of War? *violent jerkoff motion*