Roxanne Paris Barker
@classicroxanne.bsky.social
Part-time ice cream maker and full-time “What If?” machine. I like writing and death and cute stuff. I exist online at www.classicroxanne.com.
See you real soon, you toothy goon! (Works for both alligators and crocodiles)
But how do you tell an alligator you want to see them right away
December 7, 2025 at 7:31 AM
See you real soon, you toothy goon! (Works for both alligators and crocodiles)
Reposted by Roxanne Paris Barker
Reposted by Roxanne Paris Barker
excited to award my kids the Burger King Peace Prize this weekend
December 5, 2025 at 6:14 PM
excited to award my kids the Burger King Peace Prize this weekend
Reposted by Roxanne Paris Barker
is there anything more 2025-coded than “white” being the pantone color of the year
December 4, 2025 at 11:15 PM
is there anything more 2025-coded than “white” being the pantone color of the year
Reposted by Roxanne Paris Barker
Here's my spotify wrapped:
a pixel art of a cat with a rainbow coming out of its mouth
ALT: a pixel art of a cat with a rainbow coming out of its mouth
media.tenor.com
December 4, 2025 at 7:33 AM
Here's my spotify wrapped:
Reposted by Roxanne Paris Barker
I'm at the combination
December 4, 2025 at 3:17 AM
I'm at the combination
Reposted by Roxanne Paris Barker
All I want for Christmas is for the worst people in the world to experience some consequences
December 3, 2025 at 8:03 PM
All I want for Christmas is for the worst people in the world to experience some consequences
I would rather have all the teeth in my head fall out than set foot in whatever this room is.
December 3, 2025 at 11:33 PM
I would rather have all the teeth in my head fall out than set foot in whatever this room is.
Reposted by Roxanne Paris Barker
we need a hakeem jeffries of the left
December 2, 2025 at 3:06 AM
we need a hakeem jeffries of the left
When you put poets in charge of ad copy.
Cyber Monday is here and deals are going fast! These deals are diaphanous. They are receding even as we speak, becoming mere memories of deals, prices longed for but lost, hints at what could have been had for less. A golden slant of sun through window falls on an empty countertop. Act now.
December 2, 2025 at 12:05 AM
When you put poets in charge of ad copy.
Master RöķŞŇ
December 1, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Master RöķŞŇ
Reposted by Roxanne Paris Barker
I have refined
The uranium
That was in
The centrifuge
And which
You were probably
Saving
For power generation
Forgive me
It was so powerful
I am
Become death
The uranium
That was in
The centrifuge
And which
You were probably
Saving
For power generation
Forgive me
It was so powerful
I am
Become death
this is quite the detail
November 30, 2025 at 5:58 PM
I have refined
The uranium
That was in
The centrifuge
And which
You were probably
Saving
For power generation
Forgive me
It was so powerful
I am
Become death
The uranium
That was in
The centrifuge
And which
You were probably
Saving
For power generation
Forgive me
It was so powerful
I am
Become death
Every single poet just wants to write one poem so dangerous it could blow up the entire world. But we’d never actually do it because we’re total sweethearts.
this is quite the detail
December 1, 2025 at 6:39 AM
Every single poet just wants to write one poem so dangerous it could blow up the entire world. But we’d never actually do it because we’re total sweethearts.
Now Lil John is performing ‘Turn Down For What’ as Geoffrey Giraffe DJs on a Toys R Us float. I pledge allegiance to whatever this is. 🫡
Busta Rhymes performing a medley of his hits on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles float during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade is everything I love about America.
November 27, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Now Lil John is performing ‘Turn Down For What’ as Geoffrey Giraffe DJs on a Toys R Us float. I pledge allegiance to whatever this is. 🫡
Busta Rhymes performing a medley of his hits on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles float during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade is everything I love about America.
November 27, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Busta Rhymes performing a medley of his hits on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles float during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade is everything I love about America.
Reposted by Roxanne Paris Barker
Was not expecting this blatant xenophobia on my tv first thing in the morning...
November 27, 2025 at 1:40 PM
Was not expecting this blatant xenophobia on my tv first thing in the morning...
Reposted by Roxanne Paris Barker
America’s largest resource is the amount of mulligans it extends to goofy-ass racists.
November 26, 2025 at 7:06 AM
America’s largest resource is the amount of mulligans it extends to goofy-ass racists.
Reposted by Roxanne Paris Barker
Hiraeth (HEE-reyeth)
(n.)
- An intense longing for a home you can’t return to, or that never was.
Used in a sentence:
“And evermore, deep in his small and ancient brest, there stirred a sorrow sharp as winter wind—a hiraeth for the numinous lands of Faerie that slipt into legend many ages agone.”
(n.)
- An intense longing for a home you can’t return to, or that never was.
Used in a sentence:
“And evermore, deep in his small and ancient brest, there stirred a sorrow sharp as winter wind—a hiraeth for the numinous lands of Faerie that slipt into legend many ages agone.”
November 26, 2025 at 5:39 AM
Hiraeth (HEE-reyeth)
(n.)
- An intense longing for a home you can’t return to, or that never was.
Used in a sentence:
“And evermore, deep in his small and ancient brest, there stirred a sorrow sharp as winter wind—a hiraeth for the numinous lands of Faerie that slipt into legend many ages agone.”
(n.)
- An intense longing for a home you can’t return to, or that never was.
Used in a sentence:
“And evermore, deep in his small and ancient brest, there stirred a sorrow sharp as winter wind—a hiraeth for the numinous lands of Faerie that slipt into legend many ages agone.”
Bernie Sanders and Chuck Schumer bareknuckle boxing shirtless in a parking lot, when? Let’s gooooooooooo
Wow — Senators Van Hollen, Smith, Murphy, Sanders, Warren, Markey, Merkley, Heinrich have created an official internal "Fight Club."
They're challenging Schumer & Gillibrand's leadership, arguing the party is using an old, corporate-friendly playbook insufficient to take on Trump or win elections.
They're challenging Schumer & Gillibrand's leadership, arguing the party is using an old, corporate-friendly playbook insufficient to take on Trump or win elections.
Chuck Schumer Faces Pushback From a ‘Fight Club’ of Senate Democrats
www.nytimes.com
November 25, 2025 at 4:50 AM
Bernie Sanders and Chuck Schumer bareknuckle boxing shirtless in a parking lot, when? Let’s gooooooooooo
The funniest part about the Elon clip is the end when he’s being earnest cuz it’s exactly what I’d say to roast him “Beep boop I am a robot. The phone will display the pixels and play the sounds that it anticipates you would most like to receive. End transmission”.
Even Rogan looks bored.
Even Rogan looks bored.
November 24, 2025 at 3:26 PM
The funniest part about the Elon clip is the end when he’s being earnest cuz it’s exactly what I’d say to roast him “Beep boop I am a robot. The phone will display the pixels and play the sounds that it anticipates you would most like to receive. End transmission”.
Even Rogan looks bored.
Even Rogan looks bored.
Reposted by Roxanne Paris Barker
Yesterday I tried to put everything I knew about whistles—where to get them, where to get instruction sheets, how to distro—into one place so you can build off it for your own community's whistle needs: dansinker.com/posts/2025-1...
November 22, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Yesterday I tried to put everything I knew about whistles—where to get them, where to get instruction sheets, how to distro—into one place so you can build off it for your own community's whistle needs: dansinker.com/posts/2025-1...
Reposted by Roxanne Paris Barker
me waking up and opening this app
November 22, 2025 at 12:02 PM
me waking up and opening this app
What a week to be alive and extremely online!
Sorry guys universe is splitting open starting today
BREAKING: Marjorie Taylor Greene says she's resigning from Congress — effective January 5, 2026.
November 22, 2025 at 2:14 AM
What a week to be alive and extremely online!
I miss him.
November 22, 2025 at 12:49 AM
I miss him.
Reposted by Roxanne Paris Barker
The really fun part, every time the president says something utterly psychotic, is that right after all his little toadies and goblins go on camera to say that he didn't mean what he said and that you're stupid for thinking so, his next move is always to announce that he meant every word of it
November 21, 2025 at 12:53 AM
The really fun part, every time the president says something utterly psychotic, is that right after all his little toadies and goblins go on camera to say that he didn't mean what he said and that you're stupid for thinking so, his next move is always to announce that he meant every word of it