Doktor Zoom
@doktorzoom.bsky.social
Wonkette writer & senior editor
I'm just an animal, looking for a home.
Retweets do not imply comprehension.
Born at 318.43 ppm atmospheric carbon.
He/him
In Idaho, but not of Idaho.
I'm just an animal, looking for a home.
Retweets do not imply comprehension.
Born at 318.43 ppm atmospheric carbon.
He/him
In Idaho, but not of Idaho.
Pinned
Jewish Space Lasers Shoot Down 99 Luftballons, Pete Hegseth Still Somehow Has Job
Say, you didn't need that airspace over El Paso, did you?
www.wonkette.com
IN Olden Times, a multifactor clusterfuck like this would end some careers and result in departments being reorganized. But nobody in the Trump clown car ever faces consequences.
Jewish Space Lasers Shoot Down 99 Luftballons, Pete Hegseth Still Somehow Has Job
www.wonkette.com/p/jewish-spa...
Jewish Space Lasers Shoot Down 99 Luftballons, Pete Hegseth Still Somehow Has Job
www.wonkette.com/p/jewish-spa...
Don't go forgetting Noem's Homeland Security Blanket.
Coast Guard Pilot Fired For Not Carrying Kristi Noem’s Wooby
Rehired when no one could fly the plane. Plus more DHS dirt!
By @marciej.bsky.social
www.wonkette.com/p/coast-guar...
Rehired when no one could fly the plane. Plus more DHS dirt!
By @marciej.bsky.social
www.wonkette.com/p/coast-guar...
Coast Guard Pilot Fired For Not Carrying Kristi Noem’s Wooby
Rehired when no one could fly the plane. Plus more DHS dirt!
www.wonkette.com
February 13, 2026 at 11:27 PM
Don't go forgetting Noem's Homeland Security Blanket.
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
One issue here is crank convergence, and the escalation ladder of a competitive media environment. The other is that there's no social cost to beliefs anymore, being a 9/11 truther or an anti-vaxer or a Nazi doesn't actually *mean* as much as it used to, because identity has become so cheap.
Going to need to a complete and total shutdown on podcasters and political livestreams until we can figure out what’s going on
February 13, 2026 at 8:05 PM
One issue here is crank convergence, and the escalation ladder of a competitive media environment. The other is that there's no social cost to beliefs anymore, being a 9/11 truther or an anti-vaxer or a Nazi doesn't actually *mean* as much as it used to, because identity has become so cheap.
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
A climate-denier judge quashed @carrboronc.bsky.social's climate lawsuit against Duke Energy, claiming "many significant issues regarding climate change are not only the subject of complex scientific debate..."
Judge quashes small town's climate change suit against Duke Energy
Carrboro, North Carolina, claimed that Duke Energy should be responsible for damage from climate change-related weather.
www.courthousenews.com
February 13, 2026 at 8:13 PM
A climate-denier judge quashed @carrboronc.bsky.social's climate lawsuit against Duke Energy, claiming "many significant issues regarding climate change are not only the subject of complex scientific debate..."
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
my new job at the EPA is to hunt and destroy every last goddamn bee they’ve ever saved
February 12, 2026 at 10:45 PM
my new job at the EPA is to hunt and destroy every last goddamn bee they’ve ever saved
Jesus Christ, this is bad.
The "review" would even apply to refugees who got legal permanent resident status — green cards — during the Biden years.
The "review" would even apply to refugees who got legal permanent resident status — green cards — during the Biden years.
DHS is currently targeting 5,600 refugees in Minnesota as a first step in an expansive plan aimed at reviewing — and presumably restricting — the legal status of refugees admitted since the start of the Biden administration.
Read my Law Dork report on Trump admin memos filed in court Thursday:
Read my Law Dork report on Trump admin memos filed in court Thursday:
Exclusive: DHS based its newest refugee attack on a Trump proclamation that stated it would not apply to refugees
New documents filed in a key refugee case in Minnesota shed light on a broad, aggressive plan to review all refugees admitted since the start of the Biden administration.
www.lawdork.com
February 13, 2026 at 6:24 PM
Jesus Christ, this is bad.
The "review" would even apply to refugees who got legal permanent resident status — green cards — during the Biden years.
The "review" would even apply to refugees who got legal permanent resident status — green cards — during the Biden years.
I like when a 20-minute photoshoop job turns out well.
Coast Guard Pilot Fired For Not Carrying Kristi Noem’s Wooby
Rehired when no one could fly the plane. Plus more DHS dirt!
By @marciej.bsky.social
www.wonkette.com/p/coast-guar...
Rehired when no one could fly the plane. Plus more DHS dirt!
By @marciej.bsky.social
www.wonkette.com/p/coast-guar...
Coast Guard Pilot Fired For Not Carrying Kristi Noem’s Wooby
Rehired when no one could fly the plane. Plus more DHS dirt!
www.wonkette.com
February 13, 2026 at 5:47 PM
I like when a 20-minute photoshoop job turns out well.
I liked this stolen meme so much that I had to erase the original cat and save it with Thornton.
And as a bonus, here's a version to which you can add your own cat. You are welcome.
And as a bonus, here's a version to which you can add your own cat. You are welcome.
February 13, 2026 at 5:29 PM
I liked this stolen meme so much that I had to erase the original cat and save it with Thornton.
And as a bonus, here's a version to which you can add your own cat. You are welcome.
And as a bonus, here's a version to which you can add your own cat. You are welcome.
Drunky Pete let CBP dipshits play around with a military anti-drone laser weapon, they shot at balloons, chaos ensued.
Then, we presume, everyone involved got a medal and a promotion.
Jewish Space Lasers Shoot Down 99 Luftballons, Pete Hegseth Still Somehow Has Job
www.wonkette.com/p/jewish-spa...
Then, we presume, everyone involved got a medal and a promotion.
Jewish Space Lasers Shoot Down 99 Luftballons, Pete Hegseth Still Somehow Has Job
www.wonkette.com/p/jewish-spa...
Jewish Space Lasers Shoot Down 99 Luftballons, Pete Hegseth Still Somehow Has Job
Say, you didn't need that airspace over El Paso, did you?
www.wonkette.com
February 13, 2026 at 4:40 PM
Drunky Pete let CBP dipshits play around with a military anti-drone laser weapon, they shot at balloons, chaos ensued.
Then, we presume, everyone involved got a medal and a promotion.
Jewish Space Lasers Shoot Down 99 Luftballons, Pete Hegseth Still Somehow Has Job
www.wonkette.com/p/jewish-spa...
Then, we presume, everyone involved got a medal and a promotion.
Jewish Space Lasers Shoot Down 99 Luftballons, Pete Hegseth Still Somehow Has Job
www.wonkette.com/p/jewish-spa...
IN Olden Times, a multifactor clusterfuck like this would end some careers and result in departments being reorganized. But nobody in the Trump clown car ever faces consequences.
Jewish Space Lasers Shoot Down 99 Luftballons, Pete Hegseth Still Somehow Has Job
www.wonkette.com/p/jewish-spa...
Jewish Space Lasers Shoot Down 99 Luftballons, Pete Hegseth Still Somehow Has Job
www.wonkette.com/p/jewish-spa...
Jewish Space Lasers Shoot Down 99 Luftballons, Pete Hegseth Still Somehow Has Job
Say, you didn't need that airspace over El Paso, did you?
www.wonkette.com
February 13, 2026 at 4:24 PM
IN Olden Times, a multifactor clusterfuck like this would end some careers and result in departments being reorganized. But nobody in the Trump clown car ever faces consequences.
Jewish Space Lasers Shoot Down 99 Luftballons, Pete Hegseth Still Somehow Has Job
www.wonkette.com/p/jewish-spa...
Jewish Space Lasers Shoot Down 99 Luftballons, Pete Hegseth Still Somehow Has Job
www.wonkette.com/p/jewish-spa...
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
Hello. Have you met the best dad joke you will read this month?
Bummer for the pilot. Only person in the administration who won't receive a blanket pardon.
February 13, 2026 at 1:35 PM
Hello. Have you met the best dad joke you will read this month?
OK, that's more accurate, guys.
February 13, 2026 at 1:45 PM
OK, that's more accurate, guys.
That poor pilot. Only person in the administration who won't get a blanket pardon.
February 13, 2026 at 12:57 PM
That poor pilot. Only person in the administration who won't get a blanket pardon.
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
Extremely telling that Tricia McLaughlin won’t put her name behind the defenses of like 12 different scandals here and is instead quoted as an anonymous “DHS spokeswoman.”
February 13, 2026 at 12:21 PM
Extremely telling that Tricia McLaughlin won’t put her name behind the defenses of like 12 different scandals here and is instead quoted as an anonymous “DHS spokeswoman.”
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
Pam Bondi Thought That Went Pretty Well
February 12, 2026 at 6:56 PM
Pam Bondi Thought That Went Pretty Well
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
In case anyone's wondering how Jeff Bezos feels about climate policy these days, the Washington Post editorial board just heartily endorsed Trump ripping up the EPA's "endangerment finding," which allows the federal government to regulate greenhouse gases as pollutants.
February 11, 2026 at 6:01 PM
In case anyone's wondering how Jeff Bezos feels about climate policy these days, the Washington Post editorial board just heartily endorsed Trump ripping up the EPA's "endangerment finding," which allows the federal government to regulate greenhouse gases as pollutants.
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
As the EPA moves to roll back the endangerment finding, which allows it to regulate greenhouse gases, experts predict uncertainty for business and a protracted legal fight. www.wired.com/story/the-fi...
The Fight Over US Climate Rules Is Just Beginning
As the EPA moves to roll back the endangerment finding, which allows it to regulate greenhouse gases, experts predict uncertainty for business and a protracted legal fight.
www.wired.com
February 12, 2026 at 10:34 AM
As the EPA moves to roll back the endangerment finding, which allows it to regulate greenhouse gases, experts predict uncertainty for business and a protracted legal fight. www.wired.com/story/the-fi...
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
The Atlantic is Atlanticking extremely hard this morning
February 12, 2026 at 4:21 PM
The Atlantic is Atlanticking extremely hard this morning
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
Vote to fund ICE or ICE will kill more people, says cross-wearing psychopath
Katie Britt on DHS officers: "There are significant guardrails that have been put in place already in the bipartisan piece of legislation we negotiated. I think Democrats will vote that down, which means people are gonna continue this enforcement, but they're not gonna have the guardrails."
February 12, 2026 at 6:30 PM
Vote to fund ICE or ICE will kill more people, says cross-wearing psychopath
Until there's verification from people observing ICE on the ground, it's too soon to start singing the Ewoks' Yub Nub victory song, OK?
Deportation Nazi Tom Homan Says ICE To Leave Minneapolis. Don't Believe It Until People There See It.
www.wonkette.com/p/deportatio...
Deportation Nazi Tom Homan Says ICE To Leave Minneapolis. Don't Believe It Until People There See It.
www.wonkette.com/p/deportatio...
Deportation Nazi Tom Homan Says ICE To Leave Minneapolis. Don't Believe It Until People There See It.
Don't trust, just verify.
www.wonkette.com
February 12, 2026 at 8:11 PM
Until there's verification from people observing ICE on the ground, it's too soon to start singing the Ewoks' Yub Nub victory song, OK?
Deportation Nazi Tom Homan Says ICE To Leave Minneapolis. Don't Believe It Until People There See It.
www.wonkette.com/p/deportatio...
Deportation Nazi Tom Homan Says ICE To Leave Minneapolis. Don't Believe It Until People There See It.
www.wonkette.com/p/deportatio...
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
In a normal government, this results in the resignation of multiple cabinet officials (Transportation, Defense, and Homeland Security), and the closure or (at least!) radical reorg of the cartoonishly incompetent agency at the center of it: CBP.
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/11/u...
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/11/u...
February 12, 2026 at 3:18 PM
In a normal government, this results in the resignation of multiple cabinet officials (Transportation, Defense, and Homeland Security), and the closure or (at least!) radical reorg of the cartoonishly incompetent agency at the center of it: CBP.
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/11/u...
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/11/u...
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
I really hope this is true, but hearing it from this bitch is about as reassuring as an announcement in 1980: "We have eradicated the threat of Jason Voorhees. He is gone forever."
!!! BREAKING: Border czar Tom Homan announces ICE's surge in Minnesota will conclude.
February 12, 2026 at 5:15 PM
I really hope this is true, but hearing it from this bitch is about as reassuring as an announcement in 1980: "We have eradicated the threat of Jason Voorhees. He is gone forever."
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
A dark-money industry group gave Trump a trophy naming him “Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal,” and the little miner statuette even looks like him.
Weirdly, the face doesn't seem to match the only commercial version of the figure we found. A mystery!
www.wonkette.com/p/donald-tru...
Weirdly, the face doesn't seem to match the only commercial version of the figure we found. A mystery!
www.wonkette.com/p/donald-tru...
February 12, 2026 at 6:35 PM
A dark-money industry group gave Trump a trophy naming him “Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal,” and the little miner statuette even looks like him.
Weirdly, the face doesn't seem to match the only commercial version of the figure we found. A mystery!
www.wonkette.com/p/donald-tru...
Weirdly, the face doesn't seem to match the only commercial version of the figure we found. A mystery!
www.wonkette.com/p/donald-tru...
The Air Force's new coal-powered stealth bomber is ready to take on enemy Dreadnoughts!
Donald Trump Orders Pentagon: Buy Coal Power, To Whip The Kaiser!
www.wonkette.com/p/donald-tru...
Donald Trump Orders Pentagon: Buy Coal Power, To Whip The Kaiser!
www.wonkette.com/p/donald-tru...
Donald Trump Orders Pentagon: Buy Coal Power, To Whip The Kaiser!
Also, the industry gave him its new Coalpile Peace Prize.
www.wonkette.com
February 12, 2026 at 5:49 PM
The Air Force's new coal-powered stealth bomber is ready to take on enemy Dreadnoughts!
Donald Trump Orders Pentagon: Buy Coal Power, To Whip The Kaiser!
www.wonkette.com/p/donald-tru...
Donald Trump Orders Pentagon: Buy Coal Power, To Whip The Kaiser!
www.wonkette.com/p/donald-tru...
Trump can't save America's dirtiest energy source. It's doomed. But he can waste taxpayer money and drive up utility costs for ratepayers, all to secure a few years of profits for coal producers
Donald Trump Orders Pentagon: Buy Coal Power, To Whip The Kaiser!
www.wonkette.com/p/donald-tru...
Donald Trump Orders Pentagon: Buy Coal Power, To Whip The Kaiser!
www.wonkette.com/p/donald-tru...
Donald Trump Orders Pentagon: Buy Coal Power, To Whip The Kaiser!
Also, the industry gave him its new Coalpile Peace Prize.
www.wonkette.com
February 12, 2026 at 5:45 PM
Trump can't save America's dirtiest energy source. It's doomed. But he can waste taxpayer money and drive up utility costs for ratepayers, all to secure a few years of profits for coal producers
Donald Trump Orders Pentagon: Buy Coal Power, To Whip The Kaiser!
www.wonkette.com/p/donald-tru...
Donald Trump Orders Pentagon: Buy Coal Power, To Whip The Kaiser!
www.wonkette.com/p/donald-tru...
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
This is a very good book. Creepy and fun.
I don't know why BLACK RIVER ORCHARD is on sale for two bucks at your favorite electronic bookmonger, but it is, so if you want a story of suburban folk horror (shut up it is too a thing) where a creepy cult of apple-eaters take over a town and begin, um, changing? Welp, go forth and get after it.
February 12, 2026 at 3:58 PM
This is a very good book. Creepy and fun.