Pumpkin spice horchata
@eldritchanchovy.bsky.social
he/him. Millennial.
Wear a fucking mask.
Ibarra chocolate > Abuelita chocolate.
Wear a fucking mask.
Ibarra chocolate > Abuelita chocolate.
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neolithic guys get pissed if you tell them their cultures are organized by the type of pots and jewelry they made. "we called ourselves the blood hunters" "we conquered villages far beyond this horizon" sorry bud you're the western linear pottery culture now
January 17, 2026 at 2:52 PM
neolithic guys get pissed if you tell them their cultures are organized by the type of pots and jewelry they made. "we called ourselves the blood hunters" "we conquered villages far beyond this horizon" sorry bud you're the western linear pottery culture now
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live your life such that millions of people don’t drop everything they’re doing to collectively hope that It Happened at the slimmest of signs
January 21, 2026 at 4:17 AM
live your life such that millions of people don’t drop everything they’re doing to collectively hope that It Happened at the slimmest of signs
I have encountered low-carb tortillas (tasted like chewy sawdust) and low-fat mayo (tasted like new car smell)
thinking a lot about "fat free half and half." half of what....
January 21, 2026 at 1:40 AM
I have encountered low-carb tortillas (tasted like chewy sawdust) and low-fat mayo (tasted like new car smell)
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This is the funniest thing that's ever happened on Threads.
January 5, 2026 at 4:47 AM
This is the funniest thing that's ever happened on Threads.
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Whatever he had like 12 followers
There was an "influencer" who "went live" after being entombed for three days. But you kids probably haven't heard of him
January 17, 2026 at 6:54 PM
Whatever he had like 12 followers
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Laying in bed fantasising about being a hexagon cos I need more sides to sleep on
January 16, 2026 at 11:56 PM
Laying in bed fantasising about being a hexagon cos I need more sides to sleep on
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I will read every interview with Heated Rivalry writer and director Jacob Tierney because his quotes are truly a reporter's dream: www.rollingstone.com/music/music-...
January 9, 2026 at 11:42 PM
I will read every interview with Heated Rivalry writer and director Jacob Tierney because his quotes are truly a reporter's dream: www.rollingstone.com/music/music-...
Reposted by Pumpkin spice horchata
It’s so weird to me that people don’t signal in their cars because they are afraid of people “knowing what I’m going to do,” yes, you’re sending a four thousand pound machine down the street at thirty miles per hour. People need to know where you’re going
January 13, 2026 at 8:28 PM
It’s so weird to me that people don’t signal in their cars because they are afraid of people “knowing what I’m going to do,” yes, you’re sending a four thousand pound machine down the street at thirty miles per hour. People need to know where you’re going
Reposted by Pumpkin spice horchata
STOP QUITTING GET FIRED
QUITTERS DONT GET UNEMPLOYMENT
QUITTERS DONT GET UNEMPLOYMENT
This is appalling: Top DOJ officials are actively pushing for a criminal investigation into the widow of Renee Good, leading prosecutors to quit en masse, NYT is reporting.
Who in the White House ordered DOJ to do this? That's the next thing to establish.
Who in the White House ordered DOJ to do this? That's the next thing to establish.
January 14, 2026 at 12:52 AM
STOP QUITTING GET FIRED
QUITTERS DONT GET UNEMPLOYMENT
QUITTERS DONT GET UNEMPLOYMENT
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I really want ppl w/o Minneapolis connections to understand
You might've heard that Mpls public schools went hybrid bc so many families are in hiding. Well, a coworker just told me that today, during his kid's hybrid class, a kid's apt building was raided onscreen
*Everyone has stories like this*
You might've heard that Mpls public schools went hybrid bc so many families are in hiding. Well, a coworker just told me that today, during his kid's hybrid class, a kid's apt building was raided onscreen
*Everyone has stories like this*
January 13, 2026 at 6:06 PM
I really want ppl w/o Minneapolis connections to understand
You might've heard that Mpls public schools went hybrid bc so many families are in hiding. Well, a coworker just told me that today, during his kid's hybrid class, a kid's apt building was raided onscreen
*Everyone has stories like this*
You might've heard that Mpls public schools went hybrid bc so many families are in hiding. Well, a coworker just told me that today, during his kid's hybrid class, a kid's apt building was raided onscreen
*Everyone has stories like this*
Reposted by Pumpkin spice horchata
Scott Adams may be gone, but we will always remember Dilbert's signature catchphrase: "I hate Mondays."
January 13, 2026 at 3:50 PM
Scott Adams may be gone, but we will always remember Dilbert's signature catchphrase: "I hate Mondays."
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I didn't save this tweet but somebody did and it feels worth resurfacing
January 13, 2026 at 4:08 AM
I didn't save this tweet but somebody did and it feels worth resurfacing
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I hope for Reid’s sake the conversation went something like this
“how fast can you write the sequel”
“how much money will you give me for it”
“yes”
she deserves to get PAID given what a shitshow the reprint situation has been
“how fast can you write the sequel”
“how much money will you give me for it”
“yes”
she deserves to get PAID given what a shitshow the reprint situation has been
January 12, 2026 at 3:35 PM
I hope for Reid’s sake the conversation went something like this
“how fast can you write the sequel”
“how much money will you give me for it”
“yes”
she deserves to get PAID given what a shitshow the reprint situation has been
“how fast can you write the sequel”
“how much money will you give me for it”
“yes”
she deserves to get PAID given what a shitshow the reprint situation has been
Reposted by Pumpkin spice horchata
Producer: hey Tim did you lay down the vocals for environmentalist kids' cartoon Ferngully?
Tim Curry: sure did babe, real fuckin sexy just like you asked, even said I was a special kind of horny
Producer: what
Tim Curry: sure did babe, real fuckin sexy just like you asked, even said I was a special kind of horny
Producer: what
January 12, 2026 at 7:53 AM
Producer: hey Tim did you lay down the vocals for environmentalist kids' cartoon Ferngully?
Tim Curry: sure did babe, real fuckin sexy just like you asked, even said I was a special kind of horny
Producer: what
Tim Curry: sure did babe, real fuckin sexy just like you asked, even said I was a special kind of horny
Producer: what
Reposted by Pumpkin spice horchata
Slightly Diminish a Game:
- Back-Alley Fighter
- Super Mario 62.5
- Kingdom Kidneys
- Pokemon Zirconium
- Dance Dance Strongly Worded Letter of Protest
- Metal Gear Turgid
- Roller Coaster Manager
- Fortessvania
- Ukulele Hero
- Schmucktales
- Tarsier Island
- Donkey Kong County
- Back-Alley Fighter
- Super Mario 62.5
- Kingdom Kidneys
- Pokemon Zirconium
- Dance Dance Strongly Worded Letter of Protest
- Metal Gear Turgid
- Roller Coaster Manager
- Fortessvania
- Ukulele Hero
- Schmucktales
- Tarsier Island
- Donkey Kong County
Slightly diminish a game:
Where in San Diego is Carmen Sandiego?
Where in San Diego is Carmen Sandiego?
Slightly diminish a game:
Silverware in the Dark
Silverware in the Dark
January 11, 2026 at 9:27 PM
Slightly Diminish a Game:
- Back-Alley Fighter
- Super Mario 62.5
- Kingdom Kidneys
- Pokemon Zirconium
- Dance Dance Strongly Worded Letter of Protest
- Metal Gear Turgid
- Roller Coaster Manager
- Fortessvania
- Ukulele Hero
- Schmucktales
- Tarsier Island
- Donkey Kong County
- Back-Alley Fighter
- Super Mario 62.5
- Kingdom Kidneys
- Pokemon Zirconium
- Dance Dance Strongly Worded Letter of Protest
- Metal Gear Turgid
- Roller Coaster Manager
- Fortessvania
- Ukulele Hero
- Schmucktales
- Tarsier Island
- Donkey Kong County
Reposted by Pumpkin spice horchata
it’s a good strategy! no “I am giving a five thousand dollar tax credit to small businesses owned by someone between the ages of 33 and 37 who owns an orange tabby cat” shit, just “hey I fixed this infamous pothole, hey I’m building some more public restrooms”
simple is good
simple is good
I love how he seems to being doing easy-to-explain, unfussy things right away
January 11, 2026 at 8:51 PM
it’s a good strategy! no “I am giving a five thousand dollar tax credit to small businesses owned by someone between the ages of 33 and 37 who owns an orange tabby cat” shit, just “hey I fixed this infamous pothole, hey I’m building some more public restrooms”
simple is good
simple is good
Slightly diminish a game:
Where in San Diego is Carmen Sandiego?
Where in San Diego is Carmen Sandiego?
Slightly diminish a game:
Silverware in the Dark
Silverware in the Dark
Slightly diminish a game.
Epsilonrune.
Epsilonrune.
January 11, 2026 at 8:39 AM
Slightly diminish a game:
Where in San Diego is Carmen Sandiego?
Where in San Diego is Carmen Sandiego?
Reposted by Pumpkin spice horchata
"Hahaha" said Gandalf, hitting his weed pen for the seventeeth time that hour. "Fuck".
"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."
January 11, 2026 at 4:23 AM
"Hahaha" said Gandalf, hitting his weed pen for the seventeeth time that hour. "Fuck".
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if you are a woman with a chronic illness stop waiting for doctors to believe you and start fuckin lying. march right into that office and tell those assholes you've been trying to have a baby for 18 months but it isnt working , see if that doesn't change their tune
January 11, 2026 at 5:24 AM
if you are a woman with a chronic illness stop waiting for doctors to believe you and start fuckin lying. march right into that office and tell those assholes you've been trying to have a baby for 18 months but it isnt working , see if that doesn't change their tune
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simply the greatest
January 9, 2026 at 7:31 PM
simply the greatest
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there needs to be a sex offender registry but for ice guys. you should have to go door to door when you move to a new area and inform your neighbors that you used to be an ice guy. they shouldn't be allowed with 500 feet of a school
January 9, 2026 at 12:24 AM
there needs to be a sex offender registry but for ice guys. you should have to go door to door when you move to a new area and inform your neighbors that you used to be an ice guy. they shouldn't be allowed with 500 feet of a school
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Car wash for people
Free idea for the universe: a car wash for people. About the size of a tanning bed, with a rubber seal and a pillow at one end for your head. You lay down, close hatch, and a rinse-soap-rinse cycle begins automatically. You set the temperature and add soaps. Game changer for disability and pain
September 10, 2023 at 4:29 PM
Car wash for people
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curious what everyone’s kitchen table issues are. mine is that it’s too small and my stepson leaves his stuff all over it
Among the many essays I'll never have the time to write is one on how the "kitchen table" thing from obsolete politicians exemplifies how a focus on the nuclear family instead of community has rotted our culture from the inside out
January 7, 2026 at 2:54 PM
curious what everyone’s kitchen table issues are. mine is that it’s too small and my stepson leaves his stuff all over it
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LEVERAGE seemed like a silly little show about crime, but it was so much more than. Brilliant writing and execution, @johnrogers.bsky.social at his best, and a cast that must have required a few sold souls. The finale was perfect. So was everything else.
January 7, 2026 at 12:43 AM
LEVERAGE seemed like a silly little show about crime, but it was so much more than. Brilliant writing and execution, @johnrogers.bsky.social at his best, and a cast that must have required a few sold souls. The finale was perfect. So was everything else.
The obvious solution to standard time vs DST discourse is to divide each of the four continental US time zones into a north half with permanent standard time and a south half with permanent DST
This place needs some Innocuous Discourse pronto. Quote this with a take that’s not political or aggressive
January 6, 2026 at 5:02 PM
The obvious solution to standard time vs DST discourse is to divide each of the four continental US time zones into a north half with permanent standard time and a south half with permanent DST