Your friendly neighborhood Eli
@elithek.bsky.social
Born & raised in the U.S. Moved to Ireland in 2024 (permanently if I'm lucky). The world is better when we let people be who they are & don't crap on their joy.
If you're planning to follow me to DM me, don't bother.
If you're planning to follow me to DM me, don't bother.
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
March Madness is gonna be so good this year everybody's mad af
February 6, 2026 at 2:30 PM
March Madness is gonna be so good this year everybody's mad af
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
If you haven’t figured out by now that Trump is a racist piece of shit, and that’s what drives his base, then you’re never gonna figure it out.
Just a note for any reporters who need to see it.
Just a note for any reporters who need to see it.
February 6, 2026 at 2:44 PM
If you haven’t figured out by now that Trump is a racist piece of shit, and that’s what drives his base, then you’re never gonna figure it out.
Just a note for any reporters who need to see it.
Just a note for any reporters who need to see it.
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
The fuck it was
POLITICO reporting that the White House has now claimed the ape video was an accident and removed it.
February 6, 2026 at 5:14 PM
The fuck it was
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
I mean if I had to spend every waking minute with Elon Musk I would also be miserable af
February 5, 2026 at 10:20 PM
I mean if I had to spend every waking minute with Elon Musk I would also be miserable af
If I were in that situation, there is a 100% chance I'd be fired for my repeated reply of "I'm rubber and you're glue..."
Just randomly remembered that my middle school had two teachers (a married couple) with the last name Condon. "Middle school teacher" is absolutely the worst-case scenario for people named "Condon."
February 6, 2026 at 7:55 AM
If I were in that situation, there is a 100% chance I'd be fired for my repeated reply of "I'm rubber and you're glue..."
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
“No politician is going to be perfect”
That’s certainly the case but it’s not much to ask for a politician who doesn’t get a boner from making the lives of the most vulnerable more difficult. Jesus.
If we can’t find a guy who buddies up to the far right and picks on the homeless then I’m out
That’s certainly the case but it’s not much to ask for a politician who doesn’t get a boner from making the lives of the most vulnerable more difficult. Jesus.
If we can’t find a guy who buddies up to the far right and picks on the homeless then I’m out
February 6, 2026 at 12:16 AM
“No politician is going to be perfect”
That’s certainly the case but it’s not much to ask for a politician who doesn’t get a boner from making the lives of the most vulnerable more difficult. Jesus.
If we can’t find a guy who buddies up to the far right and picks on the homeless then I’m out
That’s certainly the case but it’s not much to ask for a politician who doesn’t get a boner from making the lives of the most vulnerable more difficult. Jesus.
If we can’t find a guy who buddies up to the far right and picks on the homeless then I’m out
Two competing Bluesky karma farmers battle it out:
Skeeted Rivalry
Skeeted Rivalry
Two competing pitmasters battle it out:
Meated Rivalry
Meated Rivalry
Two competing tailors form an unlikely alliance:
Pleated Rivalry
Pleated Rivalry
February 6, 2026 at 6:57 AM
Two competing Bluesky karma farmers battle it out:
Skeeted Rivalry
Skeeted Rivalry
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
A lot of people don’t seem to even know the degree to which they are geared to automatically see abuse from the abusers’s point of view, to telling the abuser story.
This drives a lot of the “paths to redemption” talk. Abuser culture sets an instinctive goal: restore the abuser.
This drives a lot of the “paths to redemption” talk. Abuser culture sets an instinctive goal: restore the abuser.
It is also very telling that throughout the episode, the feelings/consequences they are trying to understand belong almost exclusively to the pedophiles, not to the victims. In fact, the word 'victim' only shows up in the transcript TWICE.
February 5, 2026 at 11:06 PM
A lot of people don’t seem to even know the degree to which they are geared to automatically see abuse from the abusers’s point of view, to telling the abuser story.
This drives a lot of the “paths to redemption” talk. Abuser culture sets an instinctive goal: restore the abuser.
This drives a lot of the “paths to redemption” talk. Abuser culture sets an instinctive goal: restore the abuser.
At least 50% of cited instances of "meteorologists being wrong" are due to the local news outlet choosing the most extreme model for their forecast to get clicks/viewers/etc. Stormgasm, as a radio guy I used to listen to called it.
It never ceases to amaze me that people will remember the one or two times the groundhog or Farmers Almanac was right and swear by them every year, but they'll remember the few times meteorologists were wrong and they'll never believe them. Mets need to hire the PR director from Punxsutawney Phil
February 5, 2026 at 8:41 PM
At least 50% of cited instances of "meteorologists being wrong" are due to the local news outlet choosing the most extreme model for their forecast to get clicks/viewers/etc. Stormgasm, as a radio guy I used to listen to called it.
If you see this, we IMPLORE you to post a picture from whatever device you're using without explanation
![An exchange on social media
Eli: Any truth to Bernie's explanation of Ed's ability to keep opposing forwards away from the goal crease ("Well, he farts a lot")?
Joe Watson Official: Yup
[Bernie is the late Bernie Parent. Ed is the late Ed Van Impe. Bernie (goaltender), Ed, and Joe (defensemen) won 2 Stanley Cups with the Philadelphia Flyers, 1974 & 1975.]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:hh23ylrikzhgpdyewgjgk4en/bafkreih75v4vhnyba2n4k4maig7dakphoynrbdsc6ho3z6jv44cudrrso4@jpeg)
February 5, 2026 at 8:34 PM
If you see this, we IMPLORE you to post a picture from whatever device you're using without explanation
"See how often the simple solution will elude us." --- George Carlin
You’ll never guess but the solution to people not having money is to give them money.
"By the end of the two-year period, 94% of participants reported they were housed."
A million pilot programs show the same thing: when people are given enough money to afford housing, homelessness ends.
Other supports matter, but housing comes first. Not policing. Not moralizing. Homes.
A million pilot programs show the same thing: when people are given enough money to afford housing, homelessness ends.
Other supports matter, but housing comes first. Not policing. Not moralizing. Homes.
February 5, 2026 at 6:47 AM
"See how often the simple solution will elude us." --- George Carlin
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
D...
D...
Dr.
Dr I-
Dr I am-
Dr I am sad...
Dr I am sad. Aid me?
Dr I am sad. Aid me? "See clown!"
Dr I am sad. Aid me? "See clown!" That clown...is me!
- The Pagliacci Sequence
D...
Dr.
Dr I-
Dr I am-
Dr I am sad...
Dr I am sad. Aid me?
Dr I am sad. Aid me? "See clown!"
Dr I am sad. Aid me? "See clown!" That clown...is me!
- The Pagliacci Sequence
September 13, 2024 at 10:33 AM
D...
D...
Dr.
Dr I-
Dr I am-
Dr I am sad...
Dr I am sad. Aid me?
Dr I am sad. Aid me? "See clown!"
Dr I am sad. Aid me? "See clown!" That clown...is me!
- The Pagliacci Sequence
D...
Dr.
Dr I-
Dr I am-
Dr I am sad...
Dr I am sad. Aid me?
Dr I am sad. Aid me? "See clown!"
Dr I am sad. Aid me? "See clown!" That clown...is me!
- The Pagliacci Sequence
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
going on bluesky to talk about twitter is like going in the kitchen to take a shit
February 4, 2026 at 1:47 PM
going on bluesky to talk about twitter is like going in the kitchen to take a shit
Share a smile
February 4, 2026 at 9:18 PM
Share a smile
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
Finally some good news
February 4, 2026 at 2:16 PM
Finally some good news
Frodo at Runza is Lord of the Frings
Frodo at the casino is Lord of the ding ding dings.
frodo getting really into porcelain is lord of the mings
February 4, 2026 at 9:06 PM
Frodo at Runza is Lord of the Frings
I second that demotion
I have determined that everything right now is All Too Much and it needs to be Considerably Less, so if reality could just dial it down a fucking iota or two, I think we'd all like that
February 4, 2026 at 8:44 PM
I second that demotion
Fun fact: "Disappearing Anus" was the title of the first draft of what became King Missile's "Detachable Penis."
Just saw the headline “cannibal jellyfish with a disappearing anus are terrorizing Venice” with a picture of a comb jelly and
1) LOL
2) terrorizing who?! The other comb jellies?? Comb jellies don’t sting
3) who told the shock jockey writing the headline about the disappearing anus thing?!
1) LOL
2) terrorizing who?! The other comb jellies?? Comb jellies don’t sting
3) who told the shock jockey writing the headline about the disappearing anus thing?!
February 4, 2026 at 7:45 AM
Fun fact: "Disappearing Anus" was the title of the first draft of what became King Missile's "Detachable Penis."
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
I just got off a cruise ship and boy is my country tired!
#funny #jokes #standupcomedy #comedy #standup
#funny #jokes #standupcomedy #comedy #standup
February 3, 2026 at 10:37 PM
I just got off a cruise ship and boy is my country tired!
#funny #jokes #standupcomedy #comedy #standup
#funny #jokes #standupcomedy #comedy #standup
The Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefani literally makes me recoil.
Fuck your favourite song. Tell me your least favourite song. The one that makes you die inside the moment you hear the first 3 seconds.
February 4, 2026 at 5:29 AM
The Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefani literally makes me recoil.
(Last Night) I Didn't Get To Sleep At All
Marilyn McCoo has one of the loveliest voices I've heard (and, as host of Solid Gold, was one of my first celebrity crushes).
Marilyn McCoo has one of the loveliest voices I've heard (and, as host of Solid Gold, was one of my first celebrity crushes).
Deleted a post about “what’s your least favorite song” because the vibes are bad enough already.
Instead: what’s your favorite song that has a long title, say at least 6 words long?
Mine: “Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town” (Pearl Jam)
Instead: what’s your favorite song that has a long title, say at least 6 words long?
Mine: “Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town” (Pearl Jam)
February 4, 2026 at 5:16 AM
(Last Night) I Didn't Get To Sleep At All
Marilyn McCoo has one of the loveliest voices I've heard (and, as host of Solid Gold, was one of my first celebrity crushes).
Marilyn McCoo has one of the loveliest voices I've heard (and, as host of Solid Gold, was one of my first celebrity crushes).
It's purely out of spite at this point, but I am committed - no matter how much pro- and anti- talk there is on my TL - to never finding out who this Will Stancil person is.
February 3, 2026 at 10:05 PM
It's purely out of spite at this point, but I am committed - no matter how much pro- and anti- talk there is on my TL - to never finding out who this Will Stancil person is.
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
After a certain age you're no longer the product of your environment or how you were raised. It's a personal choice to live the way you do.
-Jay Shetty
-Jay Shetty
February 3, 2026 at 4:44 PM
After a certain age you're no longer the product of your environment or how you were raised. It's a personal choice to live the way you do.
-Jay Shetty
-Jay Shetty
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
I’ve just spent the last hour by my husbands grave.
He still thinks it’s going to be a fishpond!
He still thinks it’s going to be a fishpond!
February 3, 2026 at 7:34 PM
I’ve just spent the last hour by my husbands grave.
He still thinks it’s going to be a fishpond!
He still thinks it’s going to be a fishpond!
Weighing in on the important issues, as per usual.
I steadfastly maintain that there is no debate as to whether a hot dog is a sandwich. There is a clear, and I say obvious, answer: Technically yes... but no.
February 3, 2026 at 9:10 PM
Weighing in on the important issues, as per usual.