Hare
@harecomedy.bsky.social
She/her. Comedian & writer; queer autistic nerd; spreadsheets enthusiast; Mark Watson's official cartographer. Has a pet hamster. 🐹
Free, online, monthly zoom gig: @coherentcomedy.bsky.social 🍓
Writer for @thedailytism.com
https://linktr.ee/harelockwood
Free, online, monthly zoom gig: @coherentcomedy.bsky.social 🍓
Writer for @thedailytism.com
https://linktr.ee/harelockwood
Pinned
Hare
@harecomedy.bsky.social
· Mar 19
If you want to get your adrenalin pumping I’d certainly recommend doing four minutes of standup to 3000 people.
And if you like doing four* minutes of stand-up to 3000** people, please sign up for Coherent Comedy!
bsky.app/profile/cohe...
bsky.app/profile/cohe...
I have had a bad reaction to some medication, so I will be spending today curled protectively around my stomach making sad keening noises.
November 25, 2025 at 9:21 AM
I have had a bad reaction to some medication, so I will be spending today curled protectively around my stomach making sad keening noises.
Reposted by Hare
🎵
AND I SAID
WHAT ABOUT...
AND I SAID
WHAT ABOUT...
bovril amphetemines
November 25, 2025 at 8:03 AM
🎵
AND I SAID
WHAT ABOUT...
AND I SAID
WHAT ABOUT...
Just had a regular dental check-up and a clean, so if you need me I'll be howling out my feelings for the next couple of hours.
November 24, 2025 at 12:57 PM
Just had a regular dental check-up and a clean, so if you need me I'll be howling out my feelings for the next couple of hours.
Reposted by Hare
I'm Funny How? I Mean Funny Like I'm A Clown, I Amuse You? I Make You Laugh, I'm Here To Fuckin' Amuse You? What Do You Mean Funny, Funny How, Charlie Brown?
You Won’t Find It Down There, Charlie Brown
Sell Crazy Someplace Else, We're All Stocked Up Here, Charlie Brown
November 24, 2025 at 10:57 AM
I'm Funny How? I Mean Funny Like I'm A Clown, I Amuse You? I Make You Laugh, I'm Here To Fuckin' Amuse You? What Do You Mean Funny, Funny How, Charlie Brown?
Today would have been my stepfather's birthday. Miss you. x
November 24, 2025 at 8:51 AM
Today would have been my stepfather's birthday. Miss you. x
Ahhhh, this is delightful! #Taskmaster
This would’ve taken so long 😮💨we need more shitshow edits fr. amazing art 🙏🙏🙏
@thehornesection.bsky.social @taskmaster.tv
#taskmaster
@thehornesection.bsky.social @taskmaster.tv
#taskmaster
taskmaster | shitshow
YouTube video by ana
youtu.be
November 24, 2025 at 7:40 AM
Ahhhh, this is delightful! #Taskmaster
These are so, so beautiful. 😍
I don't like doing the hard sell, so just quietly putting this here in case you fancy buying a print 🙂
juliaallum.co.uk/shop/
juliaallum.co.uk/shop/
November 23, 2025 at 11:53 AM
These are so, so beautiful. 😍
This is so exciting! 🥰🍓
So apparently this arrived yesterday, was unceremoniously stuffed on top of the microwave whilst I was out doing gardening for Rachel (on tech) & nobody (brother or cat) thought to tell me about it!
@coherentcomedy.bsky.social first merch in the wild?
@coherentcomedy.bsky.social first merch in the wild?
November 23, 2025 at 10:01 AM
This is so exciting! 🥰🍓
Oof. The hamster is getting very weak and wobbly. 😔
November 22, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Oof. The hamster is getting very weak and wobbly. 😔
Instagram fashion account: "We do not have an age limit! Many of our models are well into their 20s."
🫠 cool
🫠 cool
November 22, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Instagram fashion account: "We do not have an age limit! Many of our models are well into their 20s."
🫠 cool
🫠 cool
@chrisjack.bsky.social I'd love to think this isn't you.
Had a tantrum after losing a game of Fifa and kicked the wall, leaving a dent in the plasterboard. For some reason my 5 year old told my wife that she had done it while playing and that she was sorry. All was forgiven, I fixed the damage and retired from Fifa at 39 years old.
November 22, 2025 at 6:22 PM
@chrisjack.bsky.social I'd love to think this isn't you.
My in-laws are a family of "put the empty wrappers back in the tin" and - now I've known them the best part of two decades - I comfortably treat that behaviour with the disdain it deserves. Should. Be. Illegal.
Stupidest relationship red flags that should have alerted you to a wrong ‘un - go!
I once had a boyfriend who would eat a chocolate from a shared box and then PUT THE EMPTY WRAPPER BACK IN THE BOX, so the next person reaching for a Snickers or whatever would just get disappointment.
I once had a boyfriend who would eat a chocolate from a shared box and then PUT THE EMPTY WRAPPER BACK IN THE BOX, so the next person reaching for a Snickers or whatever would just get disappointment.
November 22, 2025 at 12:03 PM
My in-laws are a family of "put the empty wrappers back in the tin" and - now I've known them the best part of two decades - I comfortably treat that behaviour with the disdain it deserves. Should. Be. Illegal.
A guy at the gym has played three Smiths songs in the last fifteen minutes. What do we reckon: depression? Winter blues? Break-up?
November 22, 2025 at 11:05 AM
A guy at the gym has played three Smiths songs in the last fifteen minutes. What do we reckon: depression? Winter blues? Break-up?
In 'Dramatically Misheard Adverts', it was "they're back" but I confidently parsed it as:
"Bareback in Zootropolis 2!"
"Bareback in Zootropolis 2!"
November 22, 2025 at 10:08 AM
In 'Dramatically Misheard Adverts', it was "they're back" but I confidently parsed it as:
"Bareback in Zootropolis 2!"
"Bareback in Zootropolis 2!"
Staggering levels of credulence?
November 22, 2025 at 8:50 AM
Staggering levels of credulence?
Tonight was one of those rare and delightful instances where the hamster loved physical touch. He sat with me for a full five minutes as I murmured to him and stroked his back, and he looked like he was gently nodding off.
November 21, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Tonight was one of those rare and delightful instances where the hamster loved physical touch. He sat with me for a full five minutes as I murmured to him and stroked his back, and he looked like he was gently nodding off.
Aaaah, cannot wait!
🍓DECEMBER LINE-UP🍓
Boom, look at this.
Lots of legends, lots of laughs
Get your tickets and join us, it’s going to be epic.
#CoherentComedy
Boom, look at this.
Lots of legends, lots of laughs
Get your tickets and join us, it’s going to be epic.
#CoherentComedy
November 21, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Aaaah, cannot wait!
Remember when I told you to hang on for a few days before buying merch for your favourite dyslexic/autistic online comedy show? Now the things are 10% off! Go buy things!*
*If you like.
*If you like.
🍓MERCH DISCOUNT ALERT🍓
Get 10% off from now until 2nd December!
Bonus: if you order on 28th Nov you'll get free UK shipping. 👀
coherent-comedy.teemill.com
Get 10% off from now until 2nd December!
Bonus: if you order on 28th Nov you'll get free UK shipping. 👀
coherent-comedy.teemill.com
November 21, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Remember when I told you to hang on for a few days before buying merch for your favourite dyslexic/autistic online comedy show? Now the things are 10% off! Go buy things!*
*If you like.
*If you like.
Look, phone, I *once* typed "the gioididong" when I was trying to get to the Guardian. You really don't have to keep suggesting it.
November 21, 2025 at 8:23 AM
Look, phone, I *once* typed "the gioididong" when I was trying to get to the Guardian. You really don't have to keep suggesting it.
Reposted by Hare
When I was young, I thought that when someone in a TV show or movie asked “Are you wearing a wire?” it meant “an underwire bra”
Whenever they asked women characters I was shocked at how rude and intrusive a question it was, but it did make scenes where they asked men that much more interesting
Whenever they asked women characters I was shocked at how rude and intrusive a question it was, but it did make scenes where they asked men that much more interesting
November 20, 2025 at 7:29 PM
When I was young, I thought that when someone in a TV show or movie asked “Are you wearing a wire?” it meant “an underwire bra”
Whenever they asked women characters I was shocked at how rude and intrusive a question it was, but it did make scenes where they asked men that much more interesting
Whenever they asked women characters I was shocked at how rude and intrusive a question it was, but it did make scenes where they asked men that much more interesting
Finally worked out who Ania Magliano reminds me of.
November 20, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Finally worked out who Ania Magliano reminds me of.
Writing for a brilliant satirical website is an absolute dream, but my crowning achievement will be if the phrase "Wanky Candles" takes off.
“Usually it’s just bedding and other homeware,” explained Lee. “But after a few steps a sharp cinnamon scent became a whirling miasma of nasal chaos. The air was claggy, my vision went dark, and I just ran.”
New 100m record set by autistic woman trying to get away from scented candles
An autistic woman with no prior athletics training has successfully broken the 100m World Record trying to get away from the smell of Wanky Candles, eyewitnesses report. Chi-Young Lee, 21, was…
thedailytism.com
November 20, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Writing for a brilliant satirical website is an absolute dream, but my crowning achievement will be if the phrase "Wanky Candles" takes off.
🫠 oh no
Emma Bernard, 30, who is often complimented on her friendly demeanour and effusive expressions of gratitude, has attributed her politeness to an extreme fawning response.
Trauma! “Polite” autistic woman just terrified of you
An autistic woman with impeccable manners is actually just petrified of displeasing you, it has been confirmed. Emma Bernard, 30, who is often complimented on her friendly demeanour and effusive…
thedailytism.com
November 20, 2025 at 2:36 PM
🫠 oh no