Jem
@j1jem.bsky.social
Essentially just a dishevelled hobbit clutching a cup of tea.
"Behind every man trying to work out whether his phone camera is working, stands an exasperated woman."
"Behind every man trying to work out whether his phone camera is working, stands an exasperated woman."
Pinned
Jem
@j1jem.bsky.social
· Nov 16
Petition to give the country a new motto:
"We've Not Really Thought This Through, Have We?"
"We've Not Really Thought This Through, Have We?"
Reposted by Jem
low polyamory
November 10, 2025 at 9:33 PM
low polyamory
That was a close one. Various bits of my timeline appear to be suggesting that some US politician has Wile E Coyote'd himself and I was starting to get curious who he is and what he's done when I suddenly remembered I don't care, he's not my problem and I can just mute his name and enjoy my evening.
November 9, 2025 at 10:36 PM
That was a close one. Various bits of my timeline appear to be suggesting that some US politician has Wile E Coyote'd himself and I was starting to get curious who he is and what he's done when I suddenly remembered I don't care, he's not my problem and I can just mute his name and enjoy my evening.
Reposted by Jem
Another funny one on the Personal Beatles podcast! It's a long time since Kevin Eldon and I had our go, but you must take the time to hear @dankackroyd.bsky.social's Beatley musings this #FabFoolsFriday.... shows.acast.com/personalbeat...
#Beatles #Comedy #Rutles ✌🏾🎶🃏
#Beatles #Comedy #Rutles ✌🏾🎶🃏
Ruth Husko's Personal Beatles | Your Own Personal Beatles
shows.acast.com
November 7, 2025 at 10:36 AM
Another funny one on the Personal Beatles podcast! It's a long time since Kevin Eldon and I had our go, but you must take the time to hear @dankackroyd.bsky.social's Beatley musings this #FabFoolsFriday.... shows.acast.com/personalbeat...
#Beatles #Comedy #Rutles ✌🏾🎶🃏
#Beatles #Comedy #Rutles ✌🏾🎶🃏
Reposted by Jem
Spoiler alert: Judging by this photo, someone dies in the new Paddington musical.
November 3, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Spoiler alert: Judging by this photo, someone dies in the new Paddington musical.
Reposted by Jem
Reposted by Jem
"That janitor who cleans the escalator handrail by holding a cloth in place as the escalator moves"
x.com/dailyportalz...
x.com/dailyportalz...
November 2, 2025 at 9:43 AM
"That janitor who cleans the escalator handrail by holding a cloth in place as the escalator moves"
x.com/dailyportalz...
x.com/dailyportalz...
Reposted by Jem
Except Barry.
November 1, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Except Barry.
Reposted by Jem
"Who are you, and why are you so rich?"
"I'm the King, and I'm the King."
"I'm the King, and I'm the King."
November 1, 2025 at 10:35 AM
"Who are you, and why are you so rich?"
"I'm the King, and I'm the King."
"I'm the King, and I'm the King."
Reposted by Jem
The lyric "STOP Hammer Time" indicates that U Can't Touch This may have been the first song to be written in BASIC.
November 1, 2025 at 10:31 AM
The lyric "STOP Hammer Time" indicates that U Can't Touch This may have been the first song to be written in BASIC.
Reposted by Jem
He's now called Pri.
You may notice that this title has no nce.
You may notice that this title has no nce.
October 30, 2025 at 7:20 PM
He's now called Pri.
You may notice that this title has no nce.
You may notice that this title has no nce.
Reposted by Jem
My name is King. King of Kings. Work on my mighty looks and despair. King Ozzy is having a strokias, call an Ozbulance
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look upon this one simple trick and the results will surprise you.
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look upon my email which I hope finds you well.
October 30, 2025 at 1:45 PM
My name is King. King of Kings. Work on my mighty looks and despair. King Ozzy is having a strokias, call an Ozbulance
Reposted by Jem
Cardiff is so obsessed with stadium gigs, anything smaller and interesting is getting crowded out and people don't know whats on...
Get the word our Cardiff peeps! Or we'll end up with nothing but pop music and tribute acts...
Get the word our Cardiff peeps! Or we'll end up with nothing but pop music and tribute acts...
We always try to get Nine Lessons shows beyond London - it is never profitable but we hope it makes it accessible for others - This year is CARDIFF - but no one seems to want to come - so we will pull it next week if we see that it is going to lose us too much money
www.glee.co.uk/performer/ni...
www.glee.co.uk/performer/ni...
Nine Lessons and Carols for Curious People - The Glee Club
The iconic Nine Lessons and Carols for Curious People season extravaganza is headed to Cardiff for the first time
www.glee.co.uk
October 29, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Cardiff is so obsessed with stadium gigs, anything smaller and interesting is getting crowded out and people don't know whats on...
Get the word our Cardiff peeps! Or we'll end up with nothing but pop music and tribute acts...
Get the word our Cardiff peeps! Or we'll end up with nothing but pop music and tribute acts...
Reposted by Jem
🎶Here we come, walking down the street, spreading herpes and Covid, to everyone we meet. Hey, hey we’re the monkeys, who escaped from a truck, everyone would be panicked if the world wasn’t already fucked🎶
BREAKING | Truck hauling monkeys carrying hepatitis C, herpes and Covid overturns in Mississippi
Truck hauling monkeys carrying hepatitis C, herpes and Covid overturns in Mississippi
www.independent.co.uk
October 29, 2025 at 6:50 AM
🎶Here we come, walking down the street, spreading herpes and Covid, to everyone we meet. Hey, hey we’re the monkeys, who escaped from a truck, everyone would be panicked if the world wasn’t already fucked🎶
Reposted by Jem
"Help, he's beating me with his ladies watch!"
Is something middle child (15) came out with at dinner on holiday today while taunting his big brother (17) and has kept me sniggering for a full half hour, I've had to explain about Victoria Wood to the big one to calm him down about his watch.
Is something middle child (15) came out with at dinner on holiday today while taunting his big brother (17) and has kept me sniggering for a full half hour, I've had to explain about Victoria Wood to the big one to calm him down about his watch.
October 27, 2025 at 6:43 PM
"Help, he's beating me with his ladies watch!"
Is something middle child (15) came out with at dinner on holiday today while taunting his big brother (17) and has kept me sniggering for a full half hour, I've had to explain about Victoria Wood to the big one to calm him down about his watch.
Is something middle child (15) came out with at dinner on holiday today while taunting his big brother (17) and has kept me sniggering for a full half hour, I've had to explain about Victoria Wood to the big one to calm him down about his watch.
Reposted by Jem
Adverts should be representative of traditional British families
October 27, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Adverts should be representative of traditional British families
Reposted by Jem
Facebook tells me that I posted this comment 10 years ago and it’s still the best “being caught bunking off school” story I’ve heard. Apologies for any minor factual inaccuracies in my retelling
October 27, 2025 at 7:23 AM
Facebook tells me that I posted this comment 10 years ago and it’s still the best “being caught bunking off school” story I’ve heard. Apologies for any minor factual inaccuracies in my retelling
Reposted by Jem
* mind blown*
October 26, 2025 at 3:27 PM
* mind blown*
Reposted by Jem
Reposted by Jem
Incredible discount.
October 26, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Incredible discount.
Reposted by Jem
Let me tell you a story (before the ship explodes):
October 24, 2025 at 10:39 AM
Let me tell you a story (before the ship explodes):
Reposted by Jem
