Jèf Uphoff
@juphoff.bsky.social
Principal Systems Engineer at @ctrliq.bsky.social. Lapsed astro/physics guy.
Ex C’ville & RVA, now Roanoke.
Tours @ AWS, Red Hat, SUSE, rPath, NRAO, Transmeta, kernel.org, among others. Veteran x2. NAPS/USNA/VT/UVa alum. Pilot. Ump.
Crazy cat gentleman.
Ex C’ville & RVA, now Roanoke.
Tours @ AWS, Red Hat, SUSE, rPath, NRAO, Transmeta, kernel.org, among others. Veteran x2. NAPS/USNA/VT/UVa alum. Pilot. Ump.
Crazy cat gentleman.
Life since 2016 in one sentence.
Like, just when I thought my last straw was broken, I read that, and feel a little SNAP and ope! there goes another straw!
January 31, 2026 at 4:25 PM
Life since 2016 in one sentence.
"Teach the controversy." 😏
I think it is OUTRAGEOUS that people are LEAPING to the conclusion that some our post prominent Americans are child rapists when it is EQUALLY PLAUSIBLE that they are simply indifferent to whether other people are child rapists so long as those other people can offer them access to power.
January 31, 2026 at 4:19 PM
"Teach the controversy." 😏
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
The Epstein emails should really end the debate over whether society should have billionaires. "Do you want there to be a class of people so powerful they can fuck your kids and no one will even try to do anything" seems like an easy sell if everyone in politics wasn't trying to get on their payroll
January 30, 2026 at 11:21 PM
The Epstein emails should really end the debate over whether society should have billionaires. "Do you want there to be a class of people so powerful they can fuck your kids and no one will even try to do anything" seems like an easy sell if everyone in politics wasn't trying to get on their payroll
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
Also the origin of the I Should Buy A Boat cat
January 31, 2026 at 9:18 AM
Also the origin of the I Should Buy A Boat cat
But what about second January?
January 31, 2026 at 2:47 PM
But what about second January?
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
“Wow can you believe the wealthiest white people in the country were using their wealth and influence to legitimize race science?”
People who study race science:
People who study race science:
January 31, 2026 at 2:14 PM
“Wow can you believe the wealthiest white people in the country were using their wealth and influence to legitimize race science?”
People who study race science:
People who study race science:
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
Thoughts and prayers for something wonderful happening
January 31, 2026 at 4:19 AM
Thoughts and prayers for something wonderful happening
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
Reports of MELANIA being screened at detention centers.
January 31, 2026 at 12:55 PM
Reports of MELANIA being screened at detention centers.
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
Man, it’s wild that normal people just go to work every day while the people who run everything meticulously document their sex crimes
January 31, 2026 at 2:26 AM
Man, it’s wild that normal people just go to work every day while the people who run everything meticulously document their sex crimes
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
he always had trouble with anti-virus measures
Bill Gates allegedly caught an STD when he cheated on then-wife Melinda Gates, newly released emails in the Jeffrey Epstein files revealed.
Bill Gates Shocker! Billionaire Got an STD After Cheating on His Wife With 'Russian Girls,' Jeffrey Epstein Files Claim
okmagazine.com
January 31, 2026 at 1:14 AM
he always had trouble with anti-virus measures
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
A+++ Appalachian protest sign:
January 30, 2026 at 4:06 PM
A+++ Appalachian protest sign:
C’mon. It’s a resume entry for this administration.
Barely a few hours after President Donald Trump named him as the next nominee to chair the Federal Reserve, Kevin Warsh was revealed to be in the Jeffrey Epstein sex trafficking case files.
Trump's Fed chair pick named in Epstein files just hours after his nomination
Barely a few hours after President Donald Trump named him as the next nominee to chair the Federal Reserve, Kevin Warsh was revealed to be in the Jeffrey Epstein sex trafficking case files.According to The New Republic, "Warsh’s name appears to be on an emailed list of guests to 'St. Barth’s Christm...
bit.ly
January 31, 2026 at 12:48 AM
C’mon. It’s a resume entry for this administration.
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
I have been calling Stephen Miller Gríma Wormtongue for years and I'm thrilled to see GOP Senators getting with the program.
Republican Senator Thom Tillis says Stephen Miller is like Grima Wormtongue from Lord of the Rings and Kristi Noem is like Delores Umbridge from Harry Potter.
January 30, 2026 at 11:11 PM
I have been calling Stephen Miller Gríma Wormtongue for years and I'm thrilled to see GOP Senators getting with the program.
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
Real @nytpitchbot.bsky.social quality content here. "Cops Worry Masked Public Executions Hurt Their Brand"
January 30, 2026 at 11:27 PM
Real @nytpitchbot.bsky.social quality content here. "Cops Worry Masked Public Executions Hurt Their Brand"
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
I would like to know when, why and how the FAA gave up it’s decision-making authority on foreign made aircraft certification & if the president’s authority on this matter now supersedes all others, including those based on flight safety.
And I want to hear this from the FAA.
And I want to hear this from the FAA.
UPDATED: White House claims Trump de-cert threat won’t impact Canadian-made aircraft in service theaircurrent.com/feed/dispatc... (via @willguisbond.com & @jonostrower.com) #staycurrent
White House claims Trump de-cert threat won’t impact Canadian-made aircraft in service
Uncertainty persists over Trump’s decertification threat to Canadian aircraft
theaircurrent.com
January 30, 2026 at 11:20 PM
I would like to know when, why and how the FAA gave up it’s decision-making authority on foreign made aircraft certification & if the president’s authority on this matter now supersedes all others, including those based on flight safety.
And I want to hear this from the FAA.
And I want to hear this from the FAA.
Oh, hai. Guess who's knocking on the door again!
January 30, 2026 at 5:56 PM
Oh, hai. Guess who's knocking on the door again!
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
Remember, the difference between gender ale and gender lager is in the fermentation style: gender ale is a top, whereas gender lager is a bottom
this is officially the funniest typo I've ever made
January 30, 2026 at 4:36 PM
Remember, the difference between gender ale and gender lager is in the fermentation style: gender ale is a top, whereas gender lager is a bottom
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
In case my northern-hemisphere pals need a little mood boost!
January 30, 2026 at 10:43 AM
In case my northern-hemisphere pals need a little mood boost!
Never mind jobs you had, tell me five classes you took at university.
- Reason and Revolution
- “CALC & ANAL GEOM”
- Shiphandling and Tactics
- Law of Armed Conflict
- Celestial Navigation
- Reason and Revolution
- “CALC & ANAL GEOM”
- Shiphandling and Tactics
- Law of Armed Conflict
- Celestial Navigation
Never mind jobs you had, tell me five classes you took at university.
1. Egyptian mythology
2. Death and dying
3. Stochastic processes
4. Geology of Wisconsin
5. Nonparametric statistics
1. Egyptian mythology
2. Death and dying
3. Stochastic processes
4. Geology of Wisconsin
5. Nonparametric statistics
January 30, 2026 at 10:05 AM
Never mind jobs you had, tell me five classes you took at university.
- Reason and Revolution
- “CALC & ANAL GEOM”
- Shiphandling and Tactics
- Law of Armed Conflict
- Celestial Navigation
- Reason and Revolution
- “CALC & ANAL GEOM”
- Shiphandling and Tactics
- Law of Armed Conflict
- Celestial Navigation
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
Earlier tonight I described the human body as "a collection of goo and hinges, and sometimes those goos and those hinges get easily out of whack" and I stand by that
January 30, 2026 at 1:29 AM
Earlier tonight I described the human body as "a collection of goo and hinges, and sometimes those goos and those hinges get easily out of whack" and I stand by that
Uh-oh. My Reese's kink has gone viral.
Okay time for fun.
Go into your photo roll or whatever, and post the first image that makes you laugh literally out loud.
Here's mine.
Go into your photo roll or whatever, and post the first image that makes you laugh literally out loud.
Here's mine.
January 30, 2026 at 2:11 AM
Uh-oh. My Reese's kink has gone viral.
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
Dr Glaucomflecken, an actual ophthalmologist, with helpful instructions for dealing with pepper spray to the face.
youtube.com/shorts/z4dy0...
youtube.com/shorts/z4dy0...
What To Do If You Get Pepper Sprayed
YouTube video by Dr. Glaucomflecken
youtube.com
January 29, 2026 at 11:45 PM
Dr Glaucomflecken, an actual ophthalmologist, with helpful instructions for dealing with pepper spray to the face.
youtube.com/shorts/z4dy0...
youtube.com/shorts/z4dy0...
5 jobs I've had:
Chicken farmer
Bartender
Infantryman
Baseball umpire
Commercial pilot
Chicken farmer
Bartender
Infantryman
Baseball umpire
Commercial pilot
5 jobs I've had.
Tutor
Casino waitress
Merchandiser
Interpreter/translator
Ghostwriter
Tutor
Casino waitress
Merchandiser
Interpreter/translator
Ghostwriter
5 jobs I’ve had.
Gardener
Lecturer
Travel agent
Tour operations.
Sailing instructor.
Gardener
Lecturer
Travel agent
Tour operations.
Sailing instructor.
January 29, 2026 at 8:51 PM
5 jobs I've had:
Chicken farmer
Bartender
Infantryman
Baseball umpire
Commercial pilot
Chicken farmer
Bartender
Infantryman
Baseball umpire
Commercial pilot
But *only* for people who own homes, you see... For people who don't own homes, I'm sure prices will become more affordable. Because markets work that way.
Trump: "I don't want to drive housing prices down. I want to drive housing prices up for people who own homes."
January 29, 2026 at 6:47 PM
But *only* for people who own homes, you see... For people who don't own homes, I'm sure prices will become more affordable. Because markets work that way.