Jèf Uphoff
@juphoff.bsky.social
Principal Systems Engineer at @ctrliq.bsky.social. Lapsed astro/physics guy.
Ex C’ville & RVA, now Roanoke.
Tours @ AWS, Red Hat, SUSE, rPath, NRAO, Transmeta, kernel.org, among others. Veteran x2. NAPS/USNA/VT/UVa alum. Pilot. Ump.
Crazy cat gentleman.
Ex C’ville & RVA, now Roanoke.
Tours @ AWS, Red Hat, SUSE, rPath, NRAO, Transmeta, kernel.org, among others. Veteran x2. NAPS/USNA/VT/UVa alum. Pilot. Ump.
Crazy cat gentleman.
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
Man, it’s wild that normal people just go to work every day while the people who run everything meticulously document their sex crimes
January 31, 2026 at 2:26 AM
Man, it’s wild that normal people just go to work every day while the people who run everything meticulously document their sex crimes
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
he always had trouble with anti-virus measures
Bill Gates allegedly caught an STD when he cheated on then-wife Melinda Gates, newly released emails in the Jeffrey Epstein files revealed.
Bill Gates Shocker! Billionaire Got an STD After Cheating on His Wife With 'Russian Girls,' Jeffrey Epstein Files Claim
okmagazine.com
January 31, 2026 at 1:14 AM
he always had trouble with anti-virus measures
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
A+++ Appalachian protest sign:
January 30, 2026 at 4:06 PM
A+++ Appalachian protest sign:
C’mon. It’s a resume entry for this administration.
Barely a few hours after President Donald Trump named him as the next nominee to chair the Federal Reserve, Kevin Warsh was revealed to be in the Jeffrey Epstein sex trafficking case files.
Trump's Fed chair pick named in Epstein files just hours after his nomination
Barely a few hours after President Donald Trump named him as the next nominee to chair the Federal Reserve, Kevin Warsh was revealed to be in the Jeffrey Epstein sex trafficking case files.According to The New Republic, "Warsh’s name appears to be on an emailed list of guests to 'St. Barth’s Christm...
bit.ly
January 31, 2026 at 12:48 AM
C’mon. It’s a resume entry for this administration.
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
I have been calling Stephen Miller Gríma Wormtongue for years and I'm thrilled to see GOP Senators getting with the program.
Republican Senator Thom Tillis says Stephen Miller is like Grima Wormtongue from Lord of the Rings and Kristi Noem is like Delores Umbridge from Harry Potter.
January 30, 2026 at 11:11 PM
I have been calling Stephen Miller Gríma Wormtongue for years and I'm thrilled to see GOP Senators getting with the program.
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
Real @nytpitchbot.bsky.social quality content here. "Cops Worry Masked Public Executions Hurt Their Brand"
January 30, 2026 at 11:27 PM
Real @nytpitchbot.bsky.social quality content here. "Cops Worry Masked Public Executions Hurt Their Brand"
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
I would like to know when, why and how the FAA gave up it’s decision-making authority on foreign made aircraft certification & if the president’s authority on this matter now supersedes all others, including those based on flight safety.
And I want to hear this from the FAA.
And I want to hear this from the FAA.
UPDATED: White House claims Trump de-cert threat won’t impact Canadian-made aircraft in service theaircurrent.com/feed/dispatc... (via @willguisbond.com & @jonostrower.com) #staycurrent
White House claims Trump de-cert threat won’t impact Canadian-made aircraft in service
Uncertainty persists over Trump’s decertification threat to Canadian aircraft
theaircurrent.com
January 30, 2026 at 11:20 PM
I would like to know when, why and how the FAA gave up it’s decision-making authority on foreign made aircraft certification & if the president’s authority on this matter now supersedes all others, including those based on flight safety.
And I want to hear this from the FAA.
And I want to hear this from the FAA.
Oh, hai. Guess who's knocking on the door again!
January 30, 2026 at 5:56 PM
Oh, hai. Guess who's knocking on the door again!
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
Remember, the difference between gender ale and gender lager is in the fermentation style: gender ale is a top, whereas gender lager is a bottom
this is officially the funniest typo I've ever made
January 30, 2026 at 4:36 PM
Remember, the difference between gender ale and gender lager is in the fermentation style: gender ale is a top, whereas gender lager is a bottom
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
In case my northern-hemisphere pals need a little mood boost!
January 30, 2026 at 10:43 AM
In case my northern-hemisphere pals need a little mood boost!
Never mind jobs you had, tell me five classes you took at university.
- Reason and Revolution
- “CALC & ANAL GEOM”
- Shiphandling and Tactics
- Law of Armed Conflict
- Celestial Navigation
- Reason and Revolution
- “CALC & ANAL GEOM”
- Shiphandling and Tactics
- Law of Armed Conflict
- Celestial Navigation
Never mind jobs you had, tell me five classes you took at university.
1. Egyptian mythology
2. Death and dying
3. Stochastic processes
4. Geology of Wisconsin
5. Nonparametric statistics
1. Egyptian mythology
2. Death and dying
3. Stochastic processes
4. Geology of Wisconsin
5. Nonparametric statistics
January 30, 2026 at 10:05 AM
Never mind jobs you had, tell me five classes you took at university.
- Reason and Revolution
- “CALC & ANAL GEOM”
- Shiphandling and Tactics
- Law of Armed Conflict
- Celestial Navigation
- Reason and Revolution
- “CALC & ANAL GEOM”
- Shiphandling and Tactics
- Law of Armed Conflict
- Celestial Navigation
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
Earlier tonight I described the human body as "a collection of goo and hinges, and sometimes those goos and those hinges get easily out of whack" and I stand by that
January 30, 2026 at 1:29 AM
Earlier tonight I described the human body as "a collection of goo and hinges, and sometimes those goos and those hinges get easily out of whack" and I stand by that
Uh-oh. My Reese's kink has gone viral.
Okay time for fun.
Go into your photo roll or whatever, and post the first image that makes you laugh literally out loud.
Here's mine.
Go into your photo roll or whatever, and post the first image that makes you laugh literally out loud.
Here's mine.
January 30, 2026 at 2:11 AM
Uh-oh. My Reese's kink has gone viral.
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
Dr Glaucomflecken, an actual ophthalmologist, with helpful instructions for dealing with pepper spray to the face.
youtube.com/shorts/z4dy0...
youtube.com/shorts/z4dy0...
What To Do If You Get Pepper Sprayed
YouTube video by Dr. Glaucomflecken
youtube.com
January 29, 2026 at 11:45 PM
Dr Glaucomflecken, an actual ophthalmologist, with helpful instructions for dealing with pepper spray to the face.
youtube.com/shorts/z4dy0...
youtube.com/shorts/z4dy0...
5 jobs I've had:
Chicken farmer
Bartender
Infantryman
Baseball umpire
Commercial pilot
Chicken farmer
Bartender
Infantryman
Baseball umpire
Commercial pilot
5 jobs I've had.
Tutor
Casino waitress
Merchandiser
Interpreter/translator
Ghostwriter
Tutor
Casino waitress
Merchandiser
Interpreter/translator
Ghostwriter
5 jobs I’ve had.
Gardener
Lecturer
Travel agent
Tour operations.
Sailing instructor.
Gardener
Lecturer
Travel agent
Tour operations.
Sailing instructor.
January 29, 2026 at 8:51 PM
5 jobs I've had:
Chicken farmer
Bartender
Infantryman
Baseball umpire
Commercial pilot
Chicken farmer
Bartender
Infantryman
Baseball umpire
Commercial pilot
But *only* for people who own homes, you see... For people who don't own homes, I'm sure prices will become more affordable. Because markets work that way.
Trump: "I don't want to drive housing prices down. I want to drive housing prices up for people who own homes."
January 29, 2026 at 6:47 PM
But *only* for people who own homes, you see... For people who don't own homes, I'm sure prices will become more affordable. Because markets work that way.
Love seeing this on the corner of my childhood street (West Court) in the seat of one of the most conservative counties in Virginia.
Today we stood on Court Square on Main Street in Woodstock, VA to protest fascism and advocate for Democracy and the rule of law. Join us! We need your voice!
#goodtrouble #NoICE #resist #fascism #ShencoDems @shencodems.bsky.social
#goodtrouble #NoICE #resist #fascism #ShencoDems @shencodems.bsky.social
January 29, 2026 at 6:35 PM
Love seeing this on the corner of my childhood street (West Court) in the seat of one of the most conservative counties in Virginia.
"Marry early" is code for "obtain a personal servant."
January 29, 2026 at 1:43 PM
"Marry early" is code for "obtain a personal servant."
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
The climatologist told me
historians
will wonder
why we didn’t do more.
The epidemiologist told me
historians
will wonder
why we didn’t do more.
The activist told me
historians
will wonder
why we didn’t do more.
The historian told me
that nobody
listens to historians.
historians
will wonder
why we didn’t do more.
The epidemiologist told me
historians
will wonder
why we didn’t do more.
The activist told me
historians
will wonder
why we didn’t do more.
The historian told me
that nobody
listens to historians.
January 28, 2026 at 7:13 PM
The climatologist told me
historians
will wonder
why we didn’t do more.
The epidemiologist told me
historians
will wonder
why we didn’t do more.
The activist told me
historians
will wonder
why we didn’t do more.
The historian told me
that nobody
listens to historians.
historians
will wonder
why we didn’t do more.
The epidemiologist told me
historians
will wonder
why we didn’t do more.
The activist told me
historians
will wonder
why we didn’t do more.
The historian told me
that nobody
listens to historians.
I thought I was living a full life until I saw this and realized I need a webcam squirrel box in my yard.
January 29, 2026 at 12:41 PM
I thought I was living a full life until I saw this and realized I need a webcam squirrel box in my yard.
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
“Unidentified man dressed in a Batman costume” accurately describes Batman.
An unidentified man dressed in a Batman costume angrily confronted Santa Clara city officials during a joint meeting of the City Council, city authorities, and the Santa Clara Stadium Authority on Monday, using his public comment to condemn the city’s stance on cooperation with ICE.
January 29, 2026 at 3:37 AM
“Unidentified man dressed in a Batman costume” accurately describes Batman.
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
An entire community of thousands, here legally, having been demonized with deranged lies about eating pets, is about to be arbitrarily DECLARED illegal so they can be forcibly ethnically cleansed. I don’t want to hear one more fucking word about comparisons to Nazi Germany being overwrought.
January 29, 2026 at 3:20 AM
An entire community of thousands, here legally, having been demonized with deranged lies about eating pets, is about to be arbitrarily DECLARED illegal so they can be forcibly ethnically cleansed. I don’t want to hear one more fucking word about comparisons to Nazi Germany being overwrought.
Reposted by Jèf Uphoff
Imagine having Bruce Springsteen AND Billy Bragg release songs about how much you fucking suck and how much the people fighting you rule you within the same 48 hours
January 28, 2026 at 9:33 PM
Imagine having Bruce Springsteen AND Billy Bragg release songs about how much you fucking suck and how much the people fighting you rule you within the same 48 hours
Yourself, but as a cartoon.
January 28, 2026 at 7:41 PM
Yourself, but as a cartoon.
"There is a special kind of rage that comes from realizing your car is gone while you are holding a box of dildos and trying to overthrow a federal agency before midnight."
January 28, 2026 at 6:19 PM
"There is a special kind of rage that comes from realizing your car is gone while you are holding a box of dildos and trying to overthrow a federal agency before midnight."