Hoofie Girl
@kaitisnotreal.bsky.social
Yes it's me. Me again. (No it's not)
If you like my search link we're dating. Ever been catfished by a parody in the fake bitch light?
Fake it til you break it
Potato's Grandma
The original Pony Baloney™️
If you like my search link we're dating. Ever been catfished by a parody in the fake bitch light?
Fake it til you break it
Potato's Grandma
The original Pony Baloney™️
Pinned
Every time I get a new follower, I buy a new pair of Snoopy panties
I thought my ex-husband was nonstop jorking but it turns out that's what snores sound like through the guest room wall
November 21, 2025 at 10:22 PM
I thought my ex-husband was nonstop jorking but it turns out that's what snores sound like through the guest room wall
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
At least everything that feels like a caving in wants to be there. I studied the myth of Atlas, trained with arches and rollbars, all I think about is starting up a casual rubble conversation for a one collapse stand
November 21, 2025 at 5:40 AM
At least everything that feels like a caving in wants to be there. I studied the myth of Atlas, trained with arches and rollbars, all I think about is starting up a casual rubble conversation for a one collapse stand
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
I do this thing called Whimsical Fridays where I put an autoresponder on my email and pretend like I am not sitting right there reading them and very able to respond immediately
November 21, 2025 at 12:29 PM
I do this thing called Whimsical Fridays where I put an autoresponder on my email and pretend like I am not sitting right there reading them and very able to respond immediately
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
Me, five minutes after leaving the house: I have made a terrible mistake and must return to my nest immediately.
November 21, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Me, five minutes after leaving the house: I have made a terrible mistake and must return to my nest immediately.
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
Question marks just interrupt the flow like oh your curiosity is a whirlpool? Well then I shall satisfy it in some opposite direction so my encyclopedias don't capsize
November 21, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Question marks just interrupt the flow like oh your curiosity is a whirlpool? Well then I shall satisfy it in some opposite direction so my encyclopedias don't capsize
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
We can find replacements for lots of things, but there’s no substitute for love
November 21, 2025 at 5:49 PM
We can find replacements for lots of things, but there’s no substitute for love
Sure. Why wouldn't it.
November 21, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Sure. Why wouldn't it.
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
Claire Danes should win the first and last Emmy for Best Holding Back Tears Chin Quiver
November 18, 2025 at 1:15 AM
Claire Danes should win the first and last Emmy for Best Holding Back Tears Chin Quiver
Oh poor Patton Oswalt got himself banned for a minute? What a dang shame, bless his heart, all that shit that I don't actually mean
November 15, 2025 at 8:58 PM
Oh poor Patton Oswalt got himself banned for a minute? What a dang shame, bless his heart, all that shit that I don't actually mean
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
some people need to ask themselves “is it really this important to be so fucking wrong”
November 15, 2025 at 8:30 PM
some people need to ask themselves “is it really this important to be so fucking wrong”
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
When one of you deactivates I imagine you being taken off stage with one of those big canes
November 15, 2025 at 2:39 PM
When one of you deactivates I imagine you being taken off stage with one of those big canes
My guy you are fully room illiterate
November 15, 2025 at 2:35 AM
My guy you are fully room illiterate
Parents in the 80s
November 14, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Parents in the 80s
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
I do believe in love, I always will
November 14, 2025 at 1:00 AM
I do believe in love, I always will
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
In a parallel universe I'm living everything the same after the cross-universe lawsuit about keeping backup files
November 13, 2025 at 4:50 PM
In a parallel universe I'm living everything the same after the cross-universe lawsuit about keeping backup files
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
sorry i’m not taking any visitors
November 14, 2025 at 12:32 AM
sorry i’m not taking any visitors
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
obligated might be the dirtiest word in the english language
November 9, 2025 at 9:54 PM
obligated might be the dirtiest word in the english language
I would like to collect printouts of your dong pics in a crisp manila folder
November 6, 2025 at 10:18 PM
I would like to collect printouts of your dong pics in a crisp manila folder
Love how absolutely no one gets the full story on what's happening with me, like piece it together amateur detectives
November 5, 2025 at 1:52 PM
Love how absolutely no one gets the full story on what's happening with me, like piece it together amateur detectives
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
Gonna start calling Erika Kirk by her alter ego Ashley Furniture the way she's trying to lure JD into her cushions
November 2, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Gonna start calling Erika Kirk by her alter ego Ashley Furniture the way she's trying to lure JD into her cushions
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
as i've gotten older, i know when i should not operate heavy machinery, and don't need a warning. also, i am heavy machinery
October 21, 2025 at 12:23 AM
as i've gotten older, i know when i should not operate heavy machinery, and don't need a warning. also, i am heavy machinery
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
*holds your hand through your crash out
October 20, 2025 at 8:20 PM
*holds your hand through your crash out
I hope for good things for all people except you, upon whom I wish an unscratchable itch deep in your bhole
October 20, 2025 at 9:12 PM
I hope for good things for all people except you, upon whom I wish an unscratchable itch deep in your bhole
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
me: *posting and cracking myself up*
you: *reading my posts and getting increasingly concerned*
you: *reading my posts and getting increasingly concerned*
October 20, 2025 at 8:49 PM
me: *posting and cracking myself up*
you: *reading my posts and getting increasingly concerned*
you: *reading my posts and getting increasingly concerned*
Reposted by Hoofie Girl
I'm going to fuck you up!
-me to my sandwich
-me to my sandwich
October 20, 2025 at 8:55 PM
I'm going to fuck you up!
-me to my sandwich
-me to my sandwich