Be Jay, Do Crimes.
@templinjay.bsky.social
Museum Nerd, Deadhead, and Dork Lord of the Sith. Master Gardener. Hunter. Jack of all trades. Veteran of the War on Drugs. Gizzard King of the Gizzard King Cabal.
#NoKingsButShortKings #ButlerianJihadNow
#NoKingsButShortKings #ButlerianJihadNow
Pinned
Recently a friend of mine cheered me up by pointing out that one of these days, I’ll buy a jug of milk and it will outlast the president.
I hope it’s this one!
#MaybeItWillHappenToday
I hope it’s this one!
#MaybeItWillHappenToday
Just had my first- and almost certainly last- gin and tonic. I’ll take my chances with the mosquitoes!
January 19, 2026 at 2:09 AM
Just had my first- and almost certainly last- gin and tonic. I’ll take my chances with the mosquitoes!
Damn. Of course, Minneapolis is weird enough that it could have been real…
January 19, 2026 at 12:20 AM
Damn. Of course, Minneapolis is weird enough that it could have been real…
Reposted by Be Jay, Do Crimes.
Average Sunday show interview:
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
January 18, 2026 at 3:53 PM
Average Sunday show interview:
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
OFFICIAL: we are going to dip enemies of the state into acid vats
HOST: how will you pay for it?
OFFICIAL: tariffs
HOST: critics say tariffs don't generate acid vat money
OFFICIAL: tariffs have generated more money than has ever existed
HOST: thank u for ur time
The only thing that would make it better is if the tub was sloshing water that froze on the road so the goons were slipping and falling all over the road behind our hero.
January 18, 2026 at 1:40 PM
The only thing that would make it better is if the tub was sloshing water that froze on the road so the goons were slipping and falling all over the road behind our hero.
Hilarious!
January 18, 2026 at 1:33 PM
Hilarious!
Reposted by Be Jay, Do Crimes.
Today I was Kidnapped By ICE - Dawokefarmer
January 18, 2026 at 3:36 AM
Today I was Kidnapped By ICE - Dawokefarmer
I think it was like a prepaid Visa card or something… 🤪
My next car will probably be a Subaru.
My next car will probably be a Subaru.
January 18, 2026 at 12:53 PM
I think it was like a prepaid Visa card or something… 🤪
My next car will probably be a Subaru.
My next car will probably be a Subaru.
Wow. Talk about commitment to a bit! Whoever did this to these books was a chimichanga short of a combo plate. My Bride and I were just discussing whether Pterry would be livid or amused.
Some flat-earther conspiracy-theory loony has very carefully stuck in little hand-written notes, seemingly at random throughout the book. Mostly about freemasonry? But also about physicists, the moon landings, Mars, and Elon Musk. WEIRD.
January 18, 2026 at 12:51 PM
Wow. Talk about commitment to a bit! Whoever did this to these books was a chimichanga short of a combo plate. My Bride and I were just discussing whether Pterry would be livid or amused.
“You got a Purdy mouth, boy.”
January 18, 2026 at 4:12 AM
“You got a Purdy mouth, boy.”
Reposted by Be Jay, Do Crimes.
Zeus Xenios strike down these violators of hospitality.
One of the stories that makes me the saddest out of this ICE invasion is one out of the Minnesota Star Tribune today about ICE agents eating at a little Mexican restaurant in the small town of Willmar, Minn, —and then, when they were done, arresting some of the workers.
January 16, 2026 at 3:07 AM
Zeus Xenios strike down these violators of hospitality.
June 1995. A few of us were stopped in Anchorage by a van full of cheechakoes who had driven up from California and wanted to know “when do you dudes turn on the Northern Lights?” I said “a little after dark.” He said “what time is that?” I said “quarter past August.”
January 18, 2026 at 4:02 AM
June 1995. A few of us were stopped in Anchorage by a van full of cheechakoes who had driven up from California and wanted to know “when do you dudes turn on the Northern Lights?” I said “a little after dark.” He said “what time is that?” I said “quarter past August.”
Name one success of ANY kind Trump has ever had!
January 18, 2026 at 3:50 AM
Name one success of ANY kind Trump has ever had!
I’d suggest feeding him to crocodiles, but I don’t want PETA coming at me for cruelty to animals. 🤣
January 18, 2026 at 3:49 AM
I’d suggest feeding him to crocodiles, but I don’t want PETA coming at me for cruelty to animals. 🤣
Obama literally signed more pro-gun legislation than Trump did.
January 18, 2026 at 3:46 AM
Obama literally signed more pro-gun legislation than Trump did.
I love to see it! It’s “the right of THE PEOPLE to keep and bear arms,” not “the right of WHITE PEOPLE to keep and bear arms.”
January 18, 2026 at 3:44 AM
I love to see it! It’s “the right of THE PEOPLE to keep and bear arms,” not “the right of WHITE PEOPLE to keep and bear arms.”
Reposted by Be Jay, Do Crimes.
I will never vote for Gavin Newsom or any other transphobe
Gavin Newsom suggesting that 25 years of age is too young to transition and agreeing to right-wing entryism of concern trolling about trans people in sports. This is your opposition leader?
I will never vote for Gavin Newsom anyone who thinks trans people are actual humans will follow suit.
I will never vote for Gavin Newsom anyone who thinks trans people are actual humans will follow suit.
January 18, 2026 at 3:04 AM
I will never vote for Gavin Newsom or any other transphobe
Reposted by Be Jay, Do Crimes.
Reposted by Be Jay, Do Crimes.
There have been confirmed reports from local organizers in Portland ME that ICE is knocking on doors claiming to be from MaineCare and “offering help“
January 18, 2026 at 12:22 AM
There have been confirmed reports from local organizers in Portland ME that ICE is knocking on doors claiming to be from MaineCare and “offering help“
Least of my worries this month, tbh. Just one more godsdamned thing.
January 18, 2026 at 3:15 AM
Least of my worries this month, tbh. Just one more godsdamned thing.
What a pussy! I wish we HAD seen him eaten live on national television.
January 18, 2026 at 2:39 AM
What a pussy! I wish we HAD seen him eaten live on national television.
Reposted by Be Jay, Do Crimes.
Native Americans protested in Minneapolis today after the ICE abducted four Oglala Sioux Tribal Members. Three of them are still missing. (1/17|26)
January 17, 2026 at 11:04 PM
Native Americans protested in Minneapolis today after the ICE abducted four Oglala Sioux Tribal Members. Three of them are still missing. (1/17|26)
Officer Bonaparte, I believe…
January 18, 2026 at 12:23 AM
Officer Bonaparte, I believe…
So when I pick her up on Monday 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 it will have been 130 days. And Ford finally got the receipts for the repair so they’re processing our rental reimbursements. Billion dollar multinational company and how did they first suggest repaying me? BY MAILING ME A GIFT CARD. You can’t make this shit up.
January 18, 2026 at 12:21 AM
So when I pick her up on Monday 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 it will have been 130 days. And Ford finally got the receipts for the repair so they’re processing our rental reimbursements. Billion dollar multinational company and how did they first suggest repaying me? BY MAILING ME A GIFT CARD. You can’t make this shit up.