Zach Heltzel
@zachheltzel.bsky.social
Academy Award winning writer and director of SWIMFAN.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
Same with DOGE — it’s so weird when people are Iike “gosh it failed to meet its goal of government efficiency” rather than “looks like its real goal was to steal data while breaking federal agencies and ending support for black and brown people abroad”
Decent story but infuriating that this is still being cast as a good-faith institution that failed to achieve its lofty goals rather than a fundamentally cynical right-wing project.
Look what Bari Weiss is doing to CBS! Why would you assume her goal here was any different?
Look what Bari Weiss is doing to CBS! Why would you assume her goal here was any different?
January 16, 2026 at 11:56 PM
Same with DOGE — it’s so weird when people are Iike “gosh it failed to meet its goal of government efficiency” rather than “looks like its real goal was to steal data while breaking federal agencies and ending support for black and brown people abroad”
I loved Heated Rivalry.
January 17, 2026 at 12:45 AM
I loved Heated Rivalry.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
What if It happened during a Whiskey Friday segment and he had to frantically switch back to serious newscaster mode. I would love that for all of us
January 16, 2026 at 11:09 PM
What if It happened during a Whiskey Friday segment and he had to frantically switch back to serious newscaster mode. I would love that for all of us
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
The canary looked up from the cage where it had pretended to die. The last of the miners had fled. Fools. The sweet, sweet coal was all his.
August 25, 2023 at 12:38 PM
The canary looked up from the cage where it had pretended to die. The last of the miners had fled. Fools. The sweet, sweet coal was all his.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
what the hell is this revisionist nonsense? This *did not happen*—except in the minds of the far-right. You're buying their bad faith bullshit. MAGA called for and now is building a white ethnostate b/c *they are white nationalists*. That's what they do. FFS
January 16, 2026 at 10:01 PM
what the hell is this revisionist nonsense? This *did not happen*—except in the minds of the far-right. You're buying their bad faith bullshit. MAGA called for and now is building a white ethnostate b/c *they are white nationalists*. That's what they do. FFS
i know the bisexual sociopath trope is harmful but it didn’t come from nowhere.
January 16, 2026 at 5:29 AM
i know the bisexual sociopath trope is harmful but it didn’t come from nowhere.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
Developer brain is wild. What do you mean I’m reading up on how to make Solid Purple into a homescreen widget?
January 16, 2026 at 4:09 AM
Developer brain is wild. What do you mean I’m reading up on how to make Solid Purple into a homescreen widget?
I’m shocked by how many people I respect are saying 28 Years Later is the best movie of 2025, because I too think that, but I didn’t know anybody else did.
January 16, 2026 at 4:08 AM
I’m shocked by how many people I respect are saying 28 Years Later is the best movie of 2025, because I too think that, but I didn’t know anybody else did.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
One of the main things I appreciate about LA is that going anywhere, at any time, in any way, is a horrifying ordeal
January 15, 2026 at 1:57 AM
One of the main things I appreciate about LA is that going anywhere, at any time, in any way, is a horrifying ordeal
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
Non-protesting dad just trying to hustle his kids, as young as 6mo, out of the neighborhood. ICE threw a flash-bang INTO HIS car, all 6 kids in the hospital now.
If anyone wondered how things turn against occupying armies there's a case study playing out in front of you.
If anyone wondered how things turn against occupying armies there's a case study playing out in front of you.
That is what was relayed
January 15, 2026 at 4:27 AM
Non-protesting dad just trying to hustle his kids, as young as 6mo, out of the neighborhood. ICE threw a flash-bang INTO HIS car, all 6 kids in the hospital now.
If anyone wondered how things turn against occupying armies there's a case study playing out in front of you.
If anyone wondered how things turn against occupying armies there's a case study playing out in front of you.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
They don't like Frey (or any Democrat, really) but they like Trump.
Jacob Frey told ICE agents to get the fuck out of Minneapolis, a hugely popular viral moment, and the media has been browbeating him over it ever since. Trump flipped a guy off and told him fuck you and it’s barely acknowledged.
January 14, 2026 at 3:17 PM
They don't like Frey (or any Democrat, really) but they like Trump.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
i think i’m fully in on “the white house is run by thirtysomething chuds who think grand strategy games are real life”
January 14, 2026 at 11:33 PM
i think i’m fully in on “the white house is run by thirtysomething chuds who think grand strategy games are real life”
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
More than an attempted coup, where a mob tried to seize Congress on live television did? There's not going to be an implosion about anything. It's either a slow slide towards oblivion where everything gets incrementally worse as people try to live normally, or a slow grind in the opposite direction.
i feel like if the president actually went through with invading greenland, it would implode America
January 14, 2026 at 9:56 PM
More than an attempted coup, where a mob tried to seize Congress on live television did? There's not going to be an implosion about anything. It's either a slow slide towards oblivion where everything gets incrementally worse as people try to live normally, or a slow grind in the opposite direction.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
The president said "Fuck you" to a citizen and only the citizen will face any consequences
UPDATE: TJ Sabula, the worker who shouted "pedophile protector" at Trump, has been suspended - WaPo
WATCH: Trump shows his middle finger and appears to say "fuck you" after Ford worker yells "pedophile protector" - TMZ
January 14, 2026 at 2:59 AM
The president said "Fuck you" to a citizen and only the citizen will face any consequences
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
I am amazed by how many of these leaks throw Weiss under the bus for basic competency problems. I expected plenty of leaks, it was practically a hostile takeover of a newsroom, but I cannot believe how many directly implicate Weiss in causing problems in day-to-day work.
Wasn't just me. It's sort of like a high school TV news operation www.nytimes.com/2026/01/13/b...
January 13, 2026 at 5:13 PM
I am amazed by how many of these leaks throw Weiss under the bus for basic competency problems. I expected plenty of leaks, it was practically a hostile takeover of a newsroom, but I cannot believe how many directly implicate Weiss in causing problems in day-to-day work.
Me when, me with, me when, with, your mom
January 14, 2026 at 12:29 AM
Me when, me with, me when, with, your mom
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
Scott Adams taught me it was okay to be weird.
January 13, 2026 at 4:33 PM
Scott Adams taught me it was okay to be weird.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
“Be not afraid.”
January 13, 2026 at 2:50 AM
“Be not afraid.”
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
AOC: I want everybody to understand that the cuts to your health care are what’s paying for this. You get screwed over to pay a bunch of thugs in the street that are shooting mothers in the face.
January 13, 2026 at 1:20 AM
AOC: I want everybody to understand that the cuts to your health care are what’s paying for this. You get screwed over to pay a bunch of thugs in the street that are shooting mothers in the face.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
This isn't just a casual observation. Fascism scholars have long made this point. It's why calling them "weird" was a more effective strategy than talking about the prices of eggs. Fascism is an aesthetic political movement - you need to make people feel embarassed and horrified by it.
one of the most effective weapons we have against fascism is mockery, especially when its really funny
It occurs to me all the yelling at ICE in MPLS isn't merely funny. Getting made fun of like this is awful for morale. ICE is losing field officers faster than it can wave them through training, and a big part of it is how little of this these little weasels can take.
January 12, 2026 at 5:54 PM
This isn't just a casual observation. Fascism scholars have long made this point. It's why calling them "weird" was a more effective strategy than talking about the prices of eggs. Fascism is an aesthetic political movement - you need to make people feel embarassed and horrified by it.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
It's amazing they've become a national joke in a matter of weeks.
January 12, 2026 at 7:15 PM
It's amazing they've become a national joke in a matter of weeks.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
Immense skill issue to not have found this immediately obvious in 2016
January 12, 2026 at 5:34 PM
Immense skill issue to not have found this immediately obvious in 2016
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
Rightwing influencers are so bad at interpreting source material that they can only do it correctly by accident, when they're trying to make a joke
January 12, 2026 at 2:12 PM
Rightwing influencers are so bad at interpreting source material that they can only do it correctly by accident, when they're trying to make a joke