Chloe Zeller
@chloelenore.bsky.social
Too much of a muchness
Crazy cusper, but probably more 🦀♋️ than ♊️
Growing, trying to be less of a mess
Crazy cusper, but probably more 🦀♋️ than ♊️
Growing, trying to be less of a mess
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
I mean yeah it’s an authoritarian takeover but can we take some comfort in the fact that the people doing it are INSANELY stupid?
December 23, 2025 at 8:15 PM
I mean yeah it’s an authoritarian takeover but can we take some comfort in the fact that the people doing it are INSANELY stupid?
The Sound of Music is on TV tonight, so we must point you, yet again, to this all-timer by Melinda Taub from our archives.
I Regret to Inform You That My Wedding to Captain Von Trapp Has Been Canceled
Dear friends, family, and Austrian nobility, Captain Von Trapp and I are very sorry to inform you that we no longer plan to wed. We offer our deepe...
buff.ly
December 22, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
My response to anything over the next two weeks
December 18, 2025 at 6:10 PM
My response to anything over the next two weeks
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
Trump Dismisses Trump As A Distraction
December 16, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Trump Dismisses Trump As A Distraction
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
Your move, Pixar.
apnews.com/article/drun...
apnews.com/article/drun...
Raccoon goes on drunken rampage in Virginia liquor store and passes out on bathroom floor
A raccoon broke into a closed Virginia liquor store and drank alcohol from the bottom shelves over the weekend.
apnews.com
December 3, 2025 at 12:12 PM
Your move, Pixar.
apnews.com/article/drun...
apnews.com/article/drun...
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
the rage that reading this makes me feel. just full 'need to stare into the middle distance because we are so, so lost' stuff.
Emmanuel, a 15-year-old with intellectual disabilities, wandered away from his mom’s fruit stand in October.
She reported him missing to Houston police. But instead of reuniting them, the city turned him over to ICE.
“They’re failing all of us,” his mom said.
thebarbedwire.com/2025/11/24/d...
She reported him missing to Houston police. But instead of reuniting them, the city turned him over to ICE.
“They’re failing all of us,” his mom said.
thebarbedwire.com/2025/11/24/d...
A Disabled Child’s Mom Reported Him Missing. He Was Locked Away by Federal Immigration Authorities for 48 Days.
Emmanuel, a 15-year-old who has an intellectual disability, walked away from his mom’s fruit stand in October. Houston Police called ICE.
thebarbedwire.com
November 24, 2025 at 3:43 PM
the rage that reading this makes me feel. just full 'need to stare into the middle distance because we are so, so lost' stuff.
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
The United States is currently suing the United States to prevent the United States from feeding American citizens.
The Trump administration has filed an emergency request with the First Circuit Court of Appeals to block U.S. District Judge John McConnell’s order requiring it to fully fund the SNAP program using alternative funding sources by today.
November 7, 2025 at 3:02 PM
The United States is currently suing the United States to prevent the United States from feeding American citizens.
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
Maybe dumping poop on voters from an airplane is not a surefire electoral strategy
November 5, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Maybe dumping poop on voters from an airplane is not a surefire electoral strategy
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
Welch: "This has nothing to do with the shutdown. The law requires and the funds are available to continue SNAP right now without any interruption. So that is a decision the president is making on his own to allow people to go hungry."
October 29, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Welch: "This has nothing to do with the shutdown. The law requires and the funds are available to continue SNAP right now without any interruption. So that is a decision the president is making on his own to allow people to go hungry."
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
And I would like to challenge this person to get a real job
October 28, 2025 at 12:03 AM
And I would like to challenge this person to get a real job
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
‘War-ravaged’ cities don’t typically have artisanal kombucha on every corner.
October 1, 2025 at 8:33 PM
‘War-ravaged’ cities don’t typically have artisanal kombucha on every corner.
Love is dead 😭 I'm so sad about this. Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban Separate After 19 Years of Marriage share.google/GCgLUhef3ZUr...
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban Separate After 19 Years of Marriage
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have separated, PEOPLE confirms. The longtime couple married in June 2006 and share daughters Sunday Rose, 17, and Faith Margaret, 14.
share.google
September 29, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Love is dead 😭 I'm so sad about this. Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban Separate After 19 Years of Marriage share.google/GCgLUhef3ZUr...
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
Low-grade fever:
Eat a McFlurry in an ice bath full of bleach.
Cramps:
Try not complaining. Men get cramps, too, you know.
Lightning crotch:
Exorcism.
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the...
Eat a McFlurry in an ice bath full of bleach.
Cramps:
Try not complaining. Men get cramps, too, you know.
Lightning crotch:
Exorcism.
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the...
The Trump Administration’s Recommendations for Managing Pregnancy Discomfort
“For this reason, they are strongly recommending that women limit Tylenol use during pregnancy unless medically necessary. That’s, for instance, in...
www.mcsweeneys.net
September 24, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Low-grade fever:
Eat a McFlurry in an ice bath full of bleach.
Cramps:
Try not complaining. Men get cramps, too, you know.
Lightning crotch:
Exorcism.
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the...
Eat a McFlurry in an ice bath full of bleach.
Cramps:
Try not complaining. Men get cramps, too, you know.
Lightning crotch:
Exorcism.
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the...
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
The Washington Post wrongly fired Opinions columnist Karen Attiah over her social media posts. The Post not only flagrantly disregarded standard disciplinary processes, it also undermined its own mandate to be a champion of free speech.
September 15, 2025 at 6:55 PM
The Washington Post wrongly fired Opinions columnist Karen Attiah over her social media posts. The Post not only flagrantly disregarded standard disciplinary processes, it also undermined its own mandate to be a champion of free speech.
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
The guns are the problem. Whether it’s high school students or Charlie Kirk or anyone else getting shot, this country has to crack down on guns and pass actual gun control laws to protect everyone’s safety.
BREAKING: At least 2 students shot at Evergreen High School, Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office says
At least 2 students shot at Evergreen High School, Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office says
At least two students were shot Wednesday at Evergreen High School, the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office said. This is a developing story that will be updated.
coloradosun.com
September 10, 2025 at 7:37 PM
The guns are the problem. Whether it’s high school students or Charlie Kirk or anyone else getting shot, this country has to crack down on guns and pass actual gun control laws to protect everyone’s safety.
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
Once again thinking about Macaulay Culkin walking into the Parisian café where the wifi password was “Macaulay Culkin” and the owner saying “I knew you’d come here someday”
September 10, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Once again thinking about Macaulay Culkin walking into the Parisian café where the wifi password was “Macaulay Culkin” and the owner saying “I knew you’d come here someday”
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
Unless you're declaring war on a tree full of elves accused of making cookies that are simply TOO delicious, there's no way that your brainstorming of badass portmanteau should resolve with "Chipocalypse."
Just Trump declaring war on a US city, a normal Saturday
September 6, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Unless you're declaring war on a tree full of elves accused of making cookies that are simply TOO delicious, there's no way that your brainstorming of badass portmanteau should resolve with "Chipocalypse."
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
Good news about the cutting-edge AI tools from the $3-trillion-dollar company.
September 2, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Good news about the cutting-edge AI tools from the $3-trillion-dollar company.
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
Being pro-drowning of children seems like a real are-we-the-baddies moment www.npr.org/sections/sho...
Drowning prevention program comes to a halt at the CDC
A few years in, a CDC drowning prevention program was ready to share its findings on how to mitigate the leading cause of death among young children. Then the administration terminated that staff.
www.npr.org
September 2, 2025 at 1:58 PM
Being pro-drowning of children seems like a real are-we-the-baddies moment www.npr.org/sections/sho...
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
pretty mad about the other stuff Trump has done, but I love salmonella so this one's a win for me
"The Agriculture Department will not require poultry companies to limit salmonella bacteria in their products, halting a Biden Administration effort to prevent food poisoning from contaminated meat."
www.seattletimes.com/business/usd...
www.seattletimes.com/business/usd...
USDA withdraws a plan to limit salmonella levels in raw poultry
The Agriculture Department says it is withdrawing a plan to limit salmonella bacteria in poultry products.
www.seattletimes.com
August 26, 2025 at 12:53 AM
pretty mad about the other stuff Trump has done, but I love salmonella so this one's a win for me
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
People are so excited that we might be on the verge of civil war. I’m not. I’m a basic bitch who likes basic things like pumpkin spice lattes and not getting shot at in the grocery store.
August 19, 2025 at 10:49 PM
People are so excited that we might be on the verge of civil war. I’m not. I’m a basic bitch who likes basic things like pumpkin spice lattes and not getting shot at in the grocery store.
Reposted by Chloe Zeller
wat
Rep. Jeff Van Drew claims he’s spoken to “large numbers” of dead people who had mail ballots sent to them
August 20, 2025 at 2:35 AM
wat