deadpan
@deadpan.bsky.social
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Reposted by deadpan
r2d2 whistling aggressively as it spins around and shows off its enormous new breast implants
January 10, 2026 at 1:33 AM
r2d2 whistling aggressively as it spins around and shows off its enormous new breast implants
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America is yearning for "it."
January 9, 2026 at 9:39 PM
America is yearning for "it."
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this is your mission. roll up to this daycare in full tactical gear to harass some kids and teachers. when you get spooked by your own shadow like a panicked horse and start shooting your gun, our pedophile president will call the person you shot a terrorist. good luck soldier
January 8, 2026 at 2:33 PM
this is your mission. roll up to this daycare in full tactical gear to harass some kids and teachers. when you get spooked by your own shadow like a panicked horse and start shooting your gun, our pedophile president will call the person you shot a terrorist. good luck soldier
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bringing a battlebot to ces and watching it utterly destroy all the humanoid bots. flipping them over, bashing with hammers, flamethrower, etc
January 8, 2026 at 2:45 AM
bringing a battlebot to ces and watching it utterly destroy all the humanoid bots. flipping them over, bashing with hammers, flamethrower, etc
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The Threads vibe is so hard to describe. It’s dire and dumb and full of engagement farming but then you also get accidental perfect posts like this.
January 7, 2026 at 5:35 AM
The Threads vibe is so hard to describe. It’s dire and dumb and full of engagement farming but then you also get accidental perfect posts like this.
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A touching tribute to Mike F
![Classic Mike F tweet:
Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:g62tajye723r3fa4gqw7l7ql/bafkreiacssf7vnpkyqovhna4mfme3qexnhqifch625ta46ibfzgpswz6ue@jpeg)
January 7, 2026 at 2:40 AM
A touching tribute to Mike F
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Welcome to CES, a vision of the near future. Anyway, here’s a bunch of robots that fall down and a computer costs five thousand dollars.
January 7, 2026 at 12:38 AM
Welcome to CES, a vision of the near future. Anyway, here’s a bunch of robots that fall down and a computer costs five thousand dollars.
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my suspicion is he's extremely dying and they are trying to roll as much of this stuff out as they can as fast as they can because they know he's the only thing uniting their lunatic-racist bloc
January 6, 2026 at 7:04 PM
my suspicion is he's extremely dying and they are trying to roll as much of this stuff out as they can as fast as they can because they know he's the only thing uniting their lunatic-racist bloc
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dear king features
January 5, 2026 at 8:04 PM
dear king features
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They're still fighting over who gets the 20th Century, and they're burning the 21st Century for fuel to do it
January 4, 2026 at 3:39 AM
They're still fighting over who gets the 20th Century, and they're burning the 21st Century for fuel to do it
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this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier
January 3, 2026 at 10:57 PM
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier
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“He was a dictator” fat nazis in plate carriers abduct your neighbors from the parking lot of target and send them to gulags.
January 3, 2026 at 10:17 PM
“He was a dictator” fat nazis in plate carriers abduct your neighbors from the parking lot of target and send them to gulags.
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back in nyc i had buddy who had place with this long balcony outside his apartment. in the middle of a cold winter we would take turns sealing each other in a cardboard fridge box and smoking a joint inside, and then bursting out of the box all steamed up into the snowfall. like an animals birth
January 3, 2026 at 10:46 PM
back in nyc i had buddy who had place with this long balcony outside his apartment. in the middle of a cold winter we would take turns sealing each other in a cardboard fridge box and smoking a joint inside, and then bursting out of the box all steamed up into the snowfall. like an animals birth
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bad fab phantom
August 16, 2025 at 1:38 AM
bad fab phantom
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listen up private. the GI bill has been revoked and your enlistment has been extended into lifetime service. you have been reassigned to the 118th doordash division delivering $50 boba tea orders to critically sip-deficient regions
January 3, 2026 at 9:39 PM
listen up private. the GI bill has been revoked and your enlistment has been extended into lifetime service. you have been reassigned to the 118th doordash division delivering $50 boba tea orders to critically sip-deficient regions
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The way the press is treating chatbots, like they have agency and they “know” things all of a sudden, crossed the line recently from dumb and obsequious to something else entirely. Treating them as alive and making conscious decisions is an almost religious belief. It won’t age well.
January 3, 2026 at 2:52 AM
The way the press is treating chatbots, like they have agency and they “know” things all of a sudden, crossed the line recently from dumb and obsequious to something else entirely. Treating them as alive and making conscious decisions is an almost religious belief. It won’t age well.
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Breaking: friend forgot name for Columbo, called him Diploma
January 2, 2026 at 4:56 AM
Breaking: friend forgot name for Columbo, called him Diploma
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I dont know what I clicked on but now all my targeted ads got me fighting Batman after my shift playing the theremin for Fishbone
January 2, 2026 at 1:17 AM
I dont know what I clicked on but now all my targeted ads got me fighting Batman after my shift playing the theremin for Fishbone
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Attacking a data center like it’s The Bastille, everyone fleeing with a bushels of RAM to desolder and resolder the chips. One peasant coded guy with a wheelbarrow of SFP+ modules. Manifesting this for 2026.
January 1, 2026 at 2:30 AM
Attacking a data center like it’s The Bastille, everyone fleeing with a bushels of RAM to desolder and resolder the chips. One peasant coded guy with a wheelbarrow of SFP+ modules. Manifesting this for 2026.
Reposted by deadpan
just saw a billionaire pack all his things in a bindle and start leaving new york city on foot. he turned and looked at me with tears in his eyes and said “maybe one day when this city is safe we’ll return” before walking away
January 1, 2026 at 6:59 PM
just saw a billionaire pack all his things in a bindle and start leaving new york city on foot. he turned and looked at me with tears in his eyes and said “maybe one day when this city is safe we’ll return” before walking away
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everything is old and stinky in america we need some clean sheets and lemon spritzers
I’m overjoyed for NYC right now. A million obstacles are assembling themselves right now, yes, but this is wonderful new start. One of the most hopeful stories in a long time, in a place where some combination of corruption, mediocrity and downright evil seemed inevitable for so long. Hooray!
January 1, 2026 at 7:34 PM
everything is old and stinky in america we need some clean sheets and lemon spritzers
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Anyone feeling like Batman or Halo rn?
January 1, 2026 at 4:54 AM
Anyone feeling like Batman or Halo rn?
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Outlook for the new year ...
December 31, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Outlook for the new year ...
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Elon Musk has killed himself.
December 31, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Elon Musk has killed himself.