Izz
dizzyizz.bsky.social
Izz
@dizzyizz.bsky.social
she/ey
transplant from tumblr
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im starting a foundation to introduce underprivileged children to forbidden techniques
April 5, 2025 at 2:01 AM
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Sorry babe tell your parents we’re not coming to dinner tonight. The cube I’ve been rotating in my mind has developed its own rich inner life, and i have become forlorn…
December 25, 2024 at 3:33 AM
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sex is like an evil & more sinister version of cuddling
January 5, 2025 at 10:50 AM
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I've owned the Simply Scrotum trademark for years now but could never figure out what good or service to offer
December 30, 2024 at 1:45 PM
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babe don't move me i'm developing a nice sear
December 27, 2024 at 11:04 PM
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There are many kinds of honcho. The head is not the only one
December 28, 2024 at 2:44 AM
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just saw a commercial for a "double cheeseburger." two beef patties in the same burger. i've never heard of anything like that in my entire life. sign of the times i guess
December 28, 2024 at 3:18 AM
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People often think I’m up to something because of the way I scurry off as soon as I hear them coming but I have the physiognomy of a small rodent I literally can’t help but to scurry
December 28, 2024 at 7:05 AM
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[don draper voice] what if there was a car, you could fuck?

[sal flips over a poster board to reveal a chrysler with a fleshlight for a gas cap, the whole room gasps]
August 17, 2023 at 11:28 PM
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Has anyone bothered to ask Die Hard what it thinks?
December 26, 2024 at 10:40 PM
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sorry, i dont know where else i can ask this: is it ok for my bathtub to get a little wet sometimes? i try to catch all the water with my body but sometimes it splashes a bit and it lands on the tub. i just wanna make sure i'm not damaging it. thanks in advance
July 4, 2023 at 8:31 PM
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whenever i'm running down a hallway and someone tries to stop me by dumping a bucket of marbles in front of me, it works. i stop to eat the marbles every single time
December 26, 2024 at 7:28 PM
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December 27, 2024 at 2:24 PM
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Finally got into that space under the sofa where my cat likes to hide her toys and I found a stack of museum blueprints and a grappling hook
December 27, 2024 at 4:38 PM
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as your doctor i’m recommending that you try and eat as many scorpions as you can
December 27, 2024 at 6:35 AM
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People love talking about a thing they know a single thing about almost as much as they love talking about a thing they know zero things about
December 26, 2024 at 9:52 PM
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Me: *apologizing for being a little groggy when I first wake up*

Uber Riders in my Backseat: *pointing and screaming*
November 22, 2024 at 11:09 AM
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For sale: ship of theseus
Condition: used, like new
December 21, 2024 at 6:02 PM
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Almost time to eat the tree
December 26, 2024 at 3:16 AM
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(To the mouse in my house) You know, last night you had no problem not stirring
December 26, 2024 at 12:40 AM