DS9 Assay Office Clerk
@ds9assayoffice.bsky.social
The assay office is the most secure location on the station.
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, eat some cheese
Speaking words of wisdom, eat some cheese
January 11, 2026 at 4:44 PM
When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, eat some cheese
Speaking words of wisdom, eat some cheese
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
Havana Syndrome was caused by empaths sensing the negative energy of all the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay
January 13, 2026 at 6:01 AM
Havana Syndrome was caused by empaths sensing the negative energy of all the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
I love to go dowsing with the boys
January 13, 2026 at 6:08 AM
I love to go dowsing with the boys
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Wearing a green sash in public that reads Open To Friendship
January 12, 2026 at 4:39 PM
Wearing a green sash in public that reads Open To Friendship
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
Sidney Sweeney wouldn’t drink out of the same water fountain as me because she said I look Iberian
January 12, 2026 at 5:36 AM
Sidney Sweeney wouldn’t drink out of the same water fountain as me because she said I look Iberian
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
I want to drink my white claw but my priest caste intermediary keeps not coming over to this side of the bar and if i touch the can myself then my hand would get burned to a crisp
January 12, 2026 at 6:05 AM
I want to drink my white claw but my priest caste intermediary keeps not coming over to this side of the bar and if i touch the can myself then my hand would get burned to a crisp
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
It’s a drug actually
January 12, 2026 at 6:10 AM
It’s a drug actually
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
the word ”’mmmm” is a palindrome
January 12, 2026 at 6:08 AM
the word ”’mmmm” is a palindrome
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
i tried to steal candy from a baby and it shot me with a gun
January 12, 2026 at 6:26 AM
i tried to steal candy from a baby and it shot me with a gun
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I spent $450 on a Jerome Powell Cameo for my friend's birthday and now he's putting out videos for whatever reason he wants. I'm so pissed. She helped me through a really dark time and deserved a unique expensive HBD from the Fed.
January 12, 2026 at 6:30 AM
I spent $450 on a Jerome Powell Cameo for my friend's birthday and now he's putting out videos for whatever reason he wants. I'm so pissed. She helped me through a really dark time and deserved a unique expensive HBD from the Fed.
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
feeling like the white spongbob
January 12, 2026 at 6:31 AM
feeling like the white spongbob
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
you gotta post in whispers cus it’s late at night on here now
April 7, 2024 at 7:50 AM
you gotta post in whispers cus it’s late at night on here now
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
it **never** gives me pleasure to tattle on a close friend but i felt obliged to turn texts from this evening over to the police
January 12, 2026 at 7:22 AM
it **never** gives me pleasure to tattle on a close friend but i felt obliged to turn texts from this evening over to the police
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
(standing there with my hands on my hips watching the firefighters extinguish my house) And don't forget that bit over there
July 20, 2025 at 11:04 PM
(standing there with my hands on my hips watching the firefighters extinguish my house) And don't forget that bit over there
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
Day 5 of the @wisebirding.bsky.social Senegal tour. A long journey south today from St Louis to Kaolack for the incredible spectacle that is the Scissor-tailed Kite roost on Kousmar Island. A rough estimate of 5,000 birds came in!
January 11, 2026 at 11:59 PM
Day 5 of the @wisebirding.bsky.social Senegal tour. A long journey south today from St Louis to Kaolack for the incredible spectacle that is the Scissor-tailed Kite roost on Kousmar Island. A rough estimate of 5,000 birds came in!
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
I say “sounds good” a lot for a person who thinks everything sucks
January 10, 2026 at 12:17 PM
I say “sounds good” a lot for a person who thinks everything sucks
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
Do you think the other needs in maslows hierarchy make fun of companionship for being gay
January 10, 2026 at 8:31 AM
Do you think the other needs in maslows hierarchy make fun of companionship for being gay
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
not a single officer discharges his weapon in this entire video, even as the car suddenly drives away, because none of these officers wanted to kill anyone that night
January 9, 2026 at 11:20 PM
not a single officer discharges his weapon in this entire video, even as the car suddenly drives away, because none of these officers wanted to kill anyone that night
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
I think you would say this:
ADAM SANDLER: I’m being a big lovable dipshit in this movie! I eat cake funnily!
KEVIN JAMES: Me too! I’m your friend!
ME: Thank you, gentlemen, for being in my “movie.”
*unlatches a metal case, revealing life-size, adoringly rendered replicas of their sexual organs
ADAM SANDLER: I’m being a big lovable dipshit in this movie! I eat cake funnily!
KEVIN JAMES: Me too! I’m your friend!
ME: Thank you, gentlemen, for being in my “movie.”
*unlatches a metal case, revealing life-size, adoringly rendered replicas of their sexual organs
July 10, 2024 at 5:59 PM
I think you would say this:
ADAM SANDLER: I’m being a big lovable dipshit in this movie! I eat cake funnily!
KEVIN JAMES: Me too! I’m your friend!
ME: Thank you, gentlemen, for being in my “movie.”
*unlatches a metal case, revealing life-size, adoringly rendered replicas of their sexual organs
ADAM SANDLER: I’m being a big lovable dipshit in this movie! I eat cake funnily!
KEVIN JAMES: Me too! I’m your friend!
ME: Thank you, gentlemen, for being in my “movie.”
*unlatches a metal case, revealing life-size, adoringly rendered replicas of their sexual organs
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
There's a small but vocal group of Democratic Party superfans on here who think it's unfair to criticize the party but I think results speak for themselves. This current breed of Democrat has been in control for 50 years. What do we have to show for it
January 8, 2026 at 2:27 AM
There's a small but vocal group of Democratic Party superfans on here who think it's unfair to criticize the party but I think results speak for themselves. This current breed of Democrat has been in control for 50 years. What do we have to show for it
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
They’re putting a QR code on the moon and when you scan it it takes you to the moons website
January 8, 2026 at 4:04 AM
They’re putting a QR code on the moon and when you scan it it takes you to the moons website
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
one thing that's really funny is that when luther went to post his thesis, nailing things to the church door wasn't some weird proclamation, it was like a normal way to post public notice, just the common bulliten board, so he literally just went like
Power and Efficacy of Indulgences 🧵 1/98
Power and Efficacy of Indulgences 🧵 1/98
January 7, 2026 at 5:03 AM
one thing that's really funny is that when luther went to post his thesis, nailing things to the church door wasn't some weird proclamation, it was like a normal way to post public notice, just the common bulliten board, so he literally just went like
Power and Efficacy of Indulgences 🧵 1/98
Power and Efficacy of Indulgences 🧵 1/98
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
I think my least favorite quality in a person, one that is so often praised as an asset or virtue, is: "doesn't take no for an answer." We're living through an extended nightmare of what that looks like when brought to its logical conclusion.
January 6, 2026 at 4:25 PM
I think my least favorite quality in a person, one that is so often praised as an asset or virtue, is: "doesn't take no for an answer." We're living through an extended nightmare of what that looks like when brought to its logical conclusion.
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
Is it fun to block people? Looking for an activity that makes me feel like a little god at the heart of his firmament
January 6, 2026 at 4:27 PM
Is it fun to block people? Looking for an activity that makes me feel like a little god at the heart of his firmament
Reposted by DS9 Assay Office Clerk
The hairdresser holds up the mirror so I can see the back of my haircut but she accidentally uses the mirror that reveals how you die. I see my 80-year-old self tumbling down a hill after slacklining for the 1st time. I never know how to react in these situations, so I just mumble "wow I love it"
January 5, 2026 at 7:22 PM
The hairdresser holds up the mirror so I can see the back of my haircut but she accidentally uses the mirror that reveals how you die. I see my 80-year-old self tumbling down a hill after slacklining for the 1st time. I never know how to react in these situations, so I just mumble "wow I love it"