Dumbdum
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dumbdum.bsky.social
Dumbdum
@dumbdum.bsky.social
We do it for decoration. That’s it and that’s all man.
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Sure, go ahead and live rent free in my head but know that the fridge is leaking freon there and I'm not quite sure what that smell coming from under the bathroom sink is.
December 12, 2025 at 8:52 PM
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five Frankensteins stitched together into one mega Frank
December 11, 2025 at 3:56 AM
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When I get a headache I take two aspirin and Keep away from children. Just like the bottle says.
December 9, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Epitaph:

Probably should have pee’d before I left
December 9, 2025 at 11:24 PM
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*unplugs grandpas ventilator to plug in my vape
December 9, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Fatherhood
December 9, 2025 at 7:49 AM
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In hindsight, it was a mistake to bring my family to Murder Island
August 2, 2024 at 3:52 AM
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"Hello Sharks. Imagine a vaccine that can cure measles."
December 9, 2025 at 7:36 AM
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ME: Can you show me how to make jelly?

WIFE: K. Why?

ME: *turns to face camera* No, just the regular stuff.
December 8, 2025 at 10:44 PM
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Scheduled my birthday dinner for 4pm so there is much more time for crying.
December 6, 2025 at 10:03 PM
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I still have a glovebox full of Bed Bath and Beyond coupons. Hope springs eternal.
December 8, 2025 at 5:24 AM
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Your honor the boys were back in town
November 28, 2024 at 4:27 AM
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As I walk through The Valley of the Shadow of Death, I can’t help thinking this was a really bad idea
December 21, 2024 at 6:46 PM
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feeling tired all the time? try exercise! you'll feel just as tired and lose an hour doing it. what's not to love?
December 8, 2025 at 3:41 AM
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Scientists now believe that the human brain--a magic goo for worrying--can also be used to do other things
December 8, 2025 at 3:53 AM
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the benny hill theme song stays on during sex
December 7, 2025 at 8:33 PM
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I know what’ll turn this around. one hundred dollars worth of sushi
December 6, 2025 at 11:19 PM
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[george michael voice] last christmas i gave you $20 to go walk around for a while while i fucked your mom
December 6, 2025 at 4:09 PM
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Got pulled over for eating a plate of fettuccine alfredo behind the wheel again.
December 6, 2025 at 9:57 PM
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Lady foot locker sounds like some serial killer shit. I’m highly recommending a name change.
December 6, 2025 at 1:33 AM
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If some dead guy emerged from a cave, I would beat him with a shovel
April 20, 2025 at 4:53 PM
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WHAT'S THE HAMBURGLAR'S FUCKING PROBLEM
December 6, 2025 at 6:05 AM
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Since our bodies are all loaded up with plastic anyway, I've decided to get friends and family edible Tupperware for Christmas.
December 5, 2025 at 11:03 PM
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Thinking about getting a walk-in refrigerator because it doesn't have the big problem that a normal fridge has: the need for an appointment.
December 5, 2025 at 9:12 AM