@evilluke.bsky.social
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I just invented a term for when the author of a fantasy series has to reread books he wrote 45 years ago: Cringefest.
July 18, 2025 at 4:48 AM
I just invented a term for when the author of a fantasy series has to reread books he wrote 45 years ago: Cringefest.
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I just woke up from a dream that I had forgotten to go to any of my college classes and it was finals week. I bullshitted a speech in German in my dream, though, so apparently my subconscious is concerned I need to practice meine Deutsche Wortschatz
June 23, 2025 at 6:56 AM
I just woke up from a dream that I had forgotten to go to any of my college classes and it was finals week. I bullshitted a speech in German in my dream, though, so apparently my subconscious is concerned I need to practice meine Deutsche Wortschatz
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[HALF-LIFE 2]
I realise that as a starting weapon the 9mm pistol isn't supposed to be very powerful, but this is ridiculous. It literally works better to just hit them with the crowbar or even random small soft objects from your surroundings
I realise that as a starting weapon the 9mm pistol isn't supposed to be very powerful, but this is ridiculous. It literally works better to just hit them with the crowbar or even random small soft objects from your surroundings
June 23, 2025 at 8:32 AM
[HALF-LIFE 2]
I realise that as a starting weapon the 9mm pistol isn't supposed to be very powerful, but this is ridiculous. It literally works better to just hit them with the crowbar or even random small soft objects from your surroundings
I realise that as a starting weapon the 9mm pistol isn't supposed to be very powerful, but this is ridiculous. It literally works better to just hit them with the crowbar or even random small soft objects from your surroundings
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Yeah we thought it was best you didn't know.
March 23, 2025 at 6:19 AM
Yeah we thought it was best you didn't know.
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wait none of you bitches told me dichen lachman was in severance
March 23, 2025 at 1:43 AM
wait none of you bitches told me dichen lachman was in severance
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This sentiment seems so reasonable! Sport needs fairness! Here's the trouble: there are two competing, basically legitimate policy concerns here...
Did I ever say that? I’m not arguing against inclusion. I’m saying sport needs categories to stay fair. That’s not the same as past bigotry, and it’s unfair to twist it into that.
March 22, 2025 at 1:16 PM
This sentiment seems so reasonable! Sport needs fairness! Here's the trouble: there are two competing, basically legitimate policy concerns here...
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Son's Friend: Hi Mr. Tanaka
Me: Oh no no no, Mr. Tanaka was my father's name
Friend: Lol ok, hi Gra-
Me: Grant was my father's name too
Friend:
Me:
Friend: So what do I call y-
Me: Karate Ghost
Me: Oh no no no, Mr. Tanaka was my father's name
Friend: Lol ok, hi Gra-
Me: Grant was my father's name too
Friend:
Me:
Friend: So what do I call y-
Me: Karate Ghost
March 23, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Son's Friend: Hi Mr. Tanaka
Me: Oh no no no, Mr. Tanaka was my father's name
Friend: Lol ok, hi Gra-
Me: Grant was my father's name too
Friend:
Me:
Friend: So what do I call y-
Me: Karate Ghost
Me: Oh no no no, Mr. Tanaka was my father's name
Friend: Lol ok, hi Gra-
Me: Grant was my father's name too
Friend:
Me:
Friend: So what do I call y-
Me: Karate Ghost
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So we all know that Muppets fuck. That's just settled science. My question is, given their...structure, are Muppet condoms also Muppets? I mean look at a Kermit puppet you could shrink that and...see...so are they using tiny Muppets who are like Doozers, I guess, for sex? Sexdoozers? Muppetcondoms?
March 23, 2025 at 3:14 AM
So we all know that Muppets fuck. That's just settled science. My question is, given their...structure, are Muppet condoms also Muppets? I mean look at a Kermit puppet you could shrink that and...see...so are they using tiny Muppets who are like Doozers, I guess, for sex? Sexdoozers? Muppetcondoms?
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Oakley Introduces Line Of Sunglasses For Front Of Head
http://theonion.com/...
http://theonion.com/...
March 1, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Oakley Introduces Line Of Sunglasses For Front Of Head
http://theonion.com/...
http://theonion.com/...
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Shit's so bad we're witnessing Will Stancil get radicalized in real time
February 5, 2025 at 8:38 AM
Shit's so bad we're witnessing Will Stancil get radicalized in real time
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Oh hey Mr. Canary, you takin' a little canary nap? You deserve it, workin' so hard down here in the dark.
February 1, 2025 at 7:07 AM
Oh hey Mr. Canary, you takin' a little canary nap? You deserve it, workin' so hard down here in the dark.
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to be fair, i did not do well in the technical.
February 4, 2025 at 6:35 AM
to be fair, i did not do well in the technical.
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If you somehow had a one-night-stand with Paul Hollywood, how bummed would you be if you didn’t get a handshake afterwards?
February 4, 2025 at 4:16 AM
If you somehow had a one-night-stand with Paul Hollywood, how bummed would you be if you didn’t get a handshake afterwards?
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the other day i had a minor mental collapse because I had Bob's Burgers on in the background while I was working and my subconscious brain finally pieced it together that the president of the united states was about to pardon Jimmy Pesto for treason, and now that has happened
January 21, 2025 at 1:39 AM
the other day i had a minor mental collapse because I had Bob's Burgers on in the background while I was working and my subconscious brain finally pieced it together that the president of the united states was about to pardon Jimmy Pesto for treason, and now that has happened
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An evil wizard has transported you to the past. You weren't able to bring anything with you and the wizard had also erased any knowledge of future tech from your mind. This is not a game. This is a reminder that there are unstoppable forces out there and we live and die by their whims. All is ashes.
January 26, 2025 at 2:04 AM
An evil wizard has transported you to the past. You weren't able to bring anything with you and the wizard had also erased any knowledge of future tech from your mind. This is not a game. This is a reminder that there are unstoppable forces out there and we live and die by their whims. All is ashes.
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i mocked my child in a goofy voice, like "oohh i'm eight and i have to go to school tomorrow" and he replied--instantly, without a second's pause for the years i've spent raising him, feeding and clothing him etc-- "i'm mama and i have a small but not invisible mustache"
January 22, 2025 at 3:50 PM
i mocked my child in a goofy voice, like "oohh i'm eight and i have to go to school tomorrow" and he replied--instantly, without a second's pause for the years i've spent raising him, feeding and clothing him etc-- "i'm mama and i have a small but not invisible mustache"
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Discworld QOTD, from Thief of Time
“People like that don't need a reason apart from "because I can". They have a nightmare and try to make it happen.”
“People like that don't need a reason apart from "because I can". They have a nightmare and try to make it happen.”
Discworld QOTD, from I Shall Wear Midnight
“The past needs to be remembered. If you do not know where you come from, then you don’t know where you are, and if you don’t know where you are, then you don’t know where you’re going.”
“The past needs to be remembered. If you do not know where you come from, then you don’t know where you are, and if you don’t know where you are, then you don’t know where you’re going.”
Discworld QOTD, from Feet of Clay
January 22, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Discworld QOTD, from Thief of Time
“People like that don't need a reason apart from "because I can". They have a nightmare and try to make it happen.”
“People like that don't need a reason apart from "because I can". They have a nightmare and try to make it happen.”
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I asked my partner which characters she would use to describe me and her FIRST ANSWER was Dr. Doofenshmirtz. I didn’t even tell her to make it embarrassing. That was her gut response.
Describe yourself in 4 characters (embarrassing edition)
January 23, 2025 at 4:07 AM
I asked my partner which characters she would use to describe me and her FIRST ANSWER was Dr. Doofenshmirtz. I didn’t even tell her to make it embarrassing. That was her gut response.
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My friend sent this to me years ago (knowing my addiction) and now I'm incredibly angry I can't actually find this on a shirt now that NIN is back in concert.
January 23, 2025 at 4:21 AM
My friend sent this to me years ago (knowing my addiction) and now I'm incredibly angry I can't actually find this on a shirt now that NIN is back in concert.
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You gotta respect marine biologists because if you don't, all their buddies are nightmarish abyssal creatures. You don't need those kinds of enemies in your life.
July 7, 2024 at 6:04 AM
You gotta respect marine biologists because if you don't, all their buddies are nightmarish abyssal creatures. You don't need those kinds of enemies in your life.
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I think about this tweet a fair bit:
May 25, 2024 at 2:36 AM
I think about this tweet a fair bit: