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Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

@gothamcitymayor.bsky.social

390 followers 620 following 1.9K posts

J. Cohen -Texan, educator, and nice curmudgeon. #zeitgang #MFFL #DallasWings 🇵🇸 🌎 Chicago, IL

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Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · Aug 24

My favorite Greek myth is the one where the hero defeats the monster, but then the monster starts a podcast.

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Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · 13h

Day one of the national “return the cart to the corral” enforcement squad.

Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · 13h

Modern dating is like Waiting for Godot if Godot ghosted.

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Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · 13h

I once annotated a copy of The Bell Jar and ended up accidentally writing my dating profile.

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Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · 1d

Schrödinger’s Cat has been missing for a week. The police have declared it both a cold case and not a case.

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Elle @elleisanisland.bsky.social · 2d

they believe ai can be "creative" bc they think artistic people just copy stuff already around. but what actually happens is you live for 20+ years, say, study, learn, practice, read, create, start a new project, & then on a 2 hour walk an entire unique idea pops into your head from nowhere. Sry.

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Sky Marchini @sky.skymarchini.net · 1d

Supreme Court: of course states can regulate, and restrict access to, medical procedures if there’s a compelling public interest

Colorado: (bans conversion therapy for minors)

Supreme Court: no not like that, we only meant abortion

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 1d

I get glitched in the matrix all the time but I don't ask for manager shit cause I'm no Kareanu

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 1d

[casting for porn flick, 1930]
director: your name?
actress, bewitched: agnes
director: not loving it. and your last name?
actress, bothered: moorehead
director: perfect
actress, bewildered: huh ?

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Reposted by Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻

weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 1d

Booooo! Hissssss!

OK that's ghost and snake. I can also do elephant.

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Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · 1d

Every morning I check my email to see what corporations think I should be sad about today.

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Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · 1d

I joined a men’s support group. It’s just five guys explaining Fight Club to each other forever.

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Jim @jimstewart.bsky.social · Jan 29

I won't ever fly a United States flag upside down. In the Navy, we fought back. Fire? Fight the ship. Flooding? Fight the ship. Attacks from hostiles? Defend the ship. Never, in all of my days would we ever think about flying the colors upside down.

We don't give up. Ever.

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RXSarsparilla🎉 @gypsymoon1969.bsky.social · 2d

If I put enough hot sauce in this blue cheese dressing that expired in August, I think I'll be fine.

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 2d

Did it hurt?

When you ordered Chinese for yourself but they included 3 forks and fortune cookies?

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👩‍🌾scareCru🌾 @carnitas.bsky.social · 2d

one time i was on the news because they found dead people in the house across the street from me

Cru a long time ago looking like the witch from sleeping beauty

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Granite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · 1d

Nervous reply guys on Bluesky are keyboard worriers.

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Humphrey Ghost-Kart 👻 @gothamcitymayor.bsky.social · 1d

Our safe word is “meaning.”

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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 2d

it's called a fleshlight because jack-o-lantern was taken

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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 2d

crazy that one of the most storied institutions in american journalism is going to be run by two people with basically no experience to do it

Exclusive | CBS News taps Adam Rubenstein — once ostracized at NY Times for liking Chick-fil-A — as new deputy editor

Sources expect Rubenstein will effectively run the Free Press now that Weiss will be busy steering the editorial direction of shows like “60 Minutes,” “Face The Nation” and …

nypost.com

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 2d

"Better the devil you know than the devil you don't," is the secret to a long marriage.

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Frenchy's ghost prospecting and leader of ANTIFA @frenchys-goldau.bsky.social · 2d

Replace the word "bro" with "brisket" and see how long it takes people to notice.

They'll notice straight away and call you an idiot but it's fun if you like that degrading shit.