Your Emotional Support Water Bottle, International Edition
@h2theannah.bsky.social
ICE is affirmative action for the weakest men society has to offer, pass it on.
January 9, 2026 at 11:29 PM
ICE is affirmative action for the weakest men society has to offer, pass it on.
The front desk attendant at the gym said “thank you, queen,” as I scanned in and let me just say, I think making that standard procedure would increase adherence to New Year’s resolutions by 25%, easy.
January 9, 2026 at 11:26 PM
The front desk attendant at the gym said “thank you, queen,” as I scanned in and let me just say, I think making that standard procedure would increase adherence to New Year’s resolutions by 25%, easy.
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“you won’t get away with this”
January 5, 2026 at 7:40 PM
“you won’t get away with this”
Well, I try, anyway.
January 2, 2026 at 12:15 AM
Well, I try, anyway.
Standing in line at security at DTW. TSA agent yells at me, “Hey, I like your shirt!” The guy on front of me turns around to look. It was D.L. Hughley. I hope he also liked my shirt, which was Spamalot merch: black tee, white lettering: “I’m not dead yet.”
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
December 30, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Standing in line at security at DTW. TSA agent yells at me, “Hey, I like your shirt!” The guy on front of me turns around to look. It was D.L. Hughley. I hope he also liked my shirt, which was Spamalot merch: black tee, white lettering: “I’m not dead yet.”
Twilight: New Dune
December 29, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Twilight: New Dune
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Cat Clinging To Side Of Christmas Tree Admits That Was Extent Of Plan https://theonion.com/cat-clinging-to-side-of-christmas-tree-admits-that-was-1849899567/
December 26, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Cat Clinging To Side Of Christmas Tree Admits That Was Extent Of Plan https://theonion.com/cat-clinging-to-side-of-christmas-tree-admits-that-was-1849899567/
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you know, these days, many people time of year. but this season, try when to everything a special time — it just might become which with you
December 25, 2025 at 8:07 PM
you know, these days, many people time of year. but this season, try when to everything a special time — it just might become which with you
I’ve lived in rural towns of 2,000 people and cities of more than 1 million people. I’ve never encountered such vibes-based business as I have in my current town of 60,000.
December 20, 2025 at 6:22 PM
I’ve lived in rural towns of 2,000 people and cities of more than 1 million people. I’ve never encountered such vibes-based business as I have in my current town of 60,000.
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As we mourn Rob Reiner, don’t skip this: he was, pretty much, personally responsible for overturning California’s Prop 8 banning same sex marriage.
www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/bus...
www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/bus...
How Rob Reiner became anti-Prop. 8 kingpin
Rob Reiner reflects on the critical role he played in getting California's gay marriage ban overturned.
www.hollywoodreporter.com
December 15, 2025 at 1:37 PM
As we mourn Rob Reiner, don’t skip this: he was, pretty much, personally responsible for overturning California’s Prop 8 banning same sex marriage.
www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/bus...
www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/bus...
Princess Bride and Stand By Me are pure movie perfection. Insanely sad to hear about Rob Reiner and his wife Michele. May their memories be a blessing
December 15, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Princess Bride and Stand By Me are pure movie perfection. Insanely sad to hear about Rob Reiner and his wife Michele. May their memories be a blessing
I have a joke about Pandora, but I'm not holding out any hope you'll get it.
I have a joke about Odysseus but nobody will get it.
I have a joke about Narcissus, but I’d be seriously dating myself
December 8, 2025 at 6:48 PM
I have a joke about Pandora, but I'm not holding out any hope you'll get it.
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Fifty years ago, she was the queen of Philly nightlife and the city’s most famous transgender woman. Today, Rachel Billebault, once known around the world as Harlow, is finally ready to tell her story. 🔗 www.inquirer.com/life/a/har...
December 7, 2025 at 1:46 AM
Fifty years ago, she was the queen of Philly nightlife and the city’s most famous transgender woman. Today, Rachel Billebault, once known around the world as Harlow, is finally ready to tell her story. 🔗 www.inquirer.com/life/a/har...
I made more money than my husband the entire time we were dating and my favorite thing was taking us out to a fancy dinner every now and again. Life is a rich tapestry! Also, what are my odds on this guy also having OPINIONS on "gold-diggers"?
Yes where else could men possibly receive this scorching insight
December 3, 2025 at 7:59 PM
I made more money than my husband the entire time we were dating and my favorite thing was taking us out to a fancy dinner every now and again. Life is a rich tapestry! Also, what are my odds on this guy also having OPINIONS on "gold-diggers"?
Also, if it is performative, who cares?? People reading is a good thing, god forbid they read in a way that inexplicably annoys you, personally.
it's not 'performative' if you're taking pictures of random fucking strangers reading. they're just reading! you're the creepy one!
Oh fuck off
November 10, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Also, if it is performative, who cares?? People reading is a good thing, god forbid they read in a way that inexplicably annoys you, personally.
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The Hurl of Sandwich.
The defendant walked free, with a rye smile on his face.
Despite grilling him, the prosecution was unable to summon the special sauce needed to get a conviction. Their case was toast from the beginning.
And thus a hero was born.
I'm sorry. I'm trying to delete this
The defendant walked free, with a rye smile on his face.
Despite grilling him, the prosecution was unable to summon the special sauce needed to get a conviction. Their case was toast from the beginning.
And thus a hero was born.
I'm sorry. I'm trying to delete this
BREAKING: JUSTICE DEPARTMENT EATS A LOSS IN 'SANDWICH GUY' CASE AS JURORS FIND DEFENDANT NOT GUILTY www.nbcnews.com/politics/jus...
Jury acquits D.C. 'sandwich guy' charged with chucking a sub at a federal agent
Sean Dunn faced single misdemeanor offense after federal grand jurors refused to indict him on the felony charge sought by prosecutors.
www.nbcnews.com
November 6, 2025 at 7:53 PM
The Hurl of Sandwich.
The defendant walked free, with a rye smile on his face.
Despite grilling him, the prosecution was unable to summon the special sauce needed to get a conviction. Their case was toast from the beginning.
And thus a hero was born.
I'm sorry. I'm trying to delete this
The defendant walked free, with a rye smile on his face.
Despite grilling him, the prosecution was unable to summon the special sauce needed to get a conviction. Their case was toast from the beginning.
And thus a hero was born.
I'm sorry. I'm trying to delete this
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If the sandwich don’t split, you must acquit
Defense says that the officer's testimony was "very questionable" because he said the sandwich both exploded in spray of mustard and onions and also landed in its wrapper on the ground.
November 5, 2025 at 8:29 PM
If the sandwich don’t split, you must acquit
Spooky cat says “Happy Halloween!” Also probably “I hate this, please desist,” but who can say for sure?
October 31, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Spooky cat says “Happy Halloween!” Also probably “I hate this, please desist,” but who can say for sure?
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I can't begin to explain what it's like here. So I won't bother.
October 26, 2025 at 8:36 PM
I can't begin to explain what it's like here. So I won't bother.
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On “youthful” and “joking” Nazi bullshit since apparently we’re still Doing This captainawkward.com/2018/02/26/1...
#1083 and #1084: Nazis Are Beyond Awkward, Do Not Engage.
Behind a cut for Nazis and the extremely triggering Nazi stuff they say and do.
captainawkward.com
October 21, 2025 at 3:30 PM
On “youthful” and “joking” Nazi bullshit since apparently we’re still Doing This captainawkward.com/2018/02/26/1...
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Learned that an anonymous outside expert on submersibles did an interview with the OceanGate Titan investigation, and they released a transcript, with all the names redacted. The first line of his first answer? "I'm sure you're familiar with my film Titanic."
October 16, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Learned that an anonymous outside expert on submersibles did an interview with the OceanGate Titan investigation, and they released a transcript, with all the names redacted. The first line of his first answer? "I'm sure you're familiar with my film Titanic."
I will give $100 and a firm handshake to the person who teaches my boss how to take a screenshot in a way that sticks. LOVE to go on a wild goose chase over what sounds like a major website malfunction only to find that he's explained it badly and it's actually the website functioning as intended.
October 6, 2025 at 7:53 PM
I will give $100 and a firm handshake to the person who teaches my boss how to take a screenshot in a way that sticks. LOVE to go on a wild goose chase over what sounds like a major website malfunction only to find that he's explained it badly and it's actually the website functioning as intended.
I promise, pinky-swear: you are not prepared.
Samara Weaving came to the LA premiere of #EenieMeanie and you are not prepared for what will have to be the worst skirt you're going to see all year, if not for all time
tomandlorenzo.com/2025/08/sama...
tomandlorenzo.com/2025/08/sama...
Samara Weaving in Wiederhoeft at the EENIE MEANIE Los Angeles Premiere - Tom + Lorenzo
Let's just rip the Band-Aid off, shall we? Samara Weaving came to the LA premiere of IN or OUT wearing this: And we bet you hate it. We're almost
tomandlorenzo.com
August 20, 2025 at 9:15 PM
I promise, pinky-swear: you are not prepared.
August 12, 2025 at 1:47 AM
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