Will Shirley
@inspectorcrayon.bsky.social
Life may be a waking nightmare, but technically that means I'm living my dream.
Opinions are those of the little homunculus guy pulling levers and pushing buttons in my skull
Opinions are those of the little homunculus guy pulling levers and pushing buttons in my skull
Reposted by Will Shirley
i'm so ugly i can't even tempt fate
December 2, 2025 at 7:54 PM
i'm so ugly i can't even tempt fate
If anyone has any tips or tricks on how to naturally and (relatively) safely expand your stomach capacity so it can hold more soup please share, I am looking to maximize soup consumption this winter
December 2, 2025 at 9:47 PM
If anyone has any tips or tricks on how to naturally and (relatively) safely expand your stomach capacity so it can hold more soup please share, I am looking to maximize soup consumption this winter
The midnight urge to make a gothic melodrama about a cheese making empire
December 1, 2025 at 6:35 AM
The midnight urge to make a gothic melodrama about a cheese making empire
Reposted by Will Shirley
Women are always asking if you want to go home with them and meet the gray ball of greasy fur and claws living beneath the porch that they’ve named “Mr. Fucker”
November 29, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Women are always asking if you want to go home with them and meet the gray ball of greasy fur and claws living beneath the porch that they’ve named “Mr. Fucker”
Reposted by Will Shirley
me: *googling symptoms*
webmd: you’re being murdered
murderer: see i told you
webmd: you’re being murdered
murderer: see i told you
November 29, 2025 at 8:07 PM
me: *googling symptoms*
webmd: you’re being murdered
murderer: see i told you
webmd: you’re being murdered
murderer: see i told you
Reposted by Will Shirley
the five types of shitposters
November 29, 2025 at 5:26 PM
the five types of shitposters
Reposted by Will Shirley
Touching grass is not enough I need to live in a hole
November 29, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Touching grass is not enough I need to live in a hole
Reposted by Will Shirley
That's reasonable.
November 28, 2025 at 1:23 PM
That's reasonable.
Reposted by Will Shirley
The DC shooting story is really getting to me because we literally trained this man as a child soldier for a death squad in a forever war and Stephen Miller et al want to blame it on other cultures? It's our culture, American culture, that killed that woman.
November 28, 2025 at 1:40 PM
The DC shooting story is really getting to me because we literally trained this man as a child soldier for a death squad in a forever war and Stephen Miller et al want to blame it on other cultures? It's our culture, American culture, that killed that woman.
Reposted by Will Shirley
Wait maybe AI is ok
Elon Musk Could 'Drink Piss Better Than Any Human in History,' Grok Says www.404media.co/elon-musk-co...
Elon Musk Could 'Drink Piss Better Than Any Human in History,' Grok Says www.404media.co/elon-musk-co...
Elon Musk Could 'Drink Piss Better Than Any Human in History,' Grok Says
Grok has been reprogrammed to say Musk is better than everyone at everything, including blowjobs, piss drinking, playing quarterback, conquering Europe, etc.
www.404media.co
November 21, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Wait maybe AI is ok
Elon Musk Could 'Drink Piss Better Than Any Human in History,' Grok Says www.404media.co/elon-musk-co...
Elon Musk Could 'Drink Piss Better Than Any Human in History,' Grok Says www.404media.co/elon-musk-co...
Reposted by Will Shirley
Reposted by Will Shirley
maybe i am going insane
November 24, 2025 at 6:49 PM
maybe i am going insane
Reposted by Will Shirley
(being interviewed by local media after a body is found in my neighborhood)
me: well pam i just hope to god it wasn't a dracula
Pam: according to our sources the body was shot several times
ME: it's not the 9th century anymore pam a dracula is more than capable of firing a gun
me: well pam i just hope to god it wasn't a dracula
Pam: according to our sources the body was shot several times
ME: it's not the 9th century anymore pam a dracula is more than capable of firing a gun
November 24, 2025 at 6:39 PM
(being interviewed by local media after a body is found in my neighborhood)
me: well pam i just hope to god it wasn't a dracula
Pam: according to our sources the body was shot several times
ME: it's not the 9th century anymore pam a dracula is more than capable of firing a gun
me: well pam i just hope to god it wasn't a dracula
Pam: according to our sources the body was shot several times
ME: it's not the 9th century anymore pam a dracula is more than capable of firing a gun
I'll probably be fine but my insides are voicing concerns that I shouldn't have eaten two entirely different sets of Very Questionable Leftovers of Uncertain Age within the same 24 hour period
November 22, 2025 at 7:39 PM
I'll probably be fine but my insides are voicing concerns that I shouldn't have eaten two entirely different sets of Very Questionable Leftovers of Uncertain Age within the same 24 hour period
Ok Zohran Mamdani not only maxxed out charisma he somehow raised the level cap normally attainable by humans and maxxed it out again
November 21, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Ok Zohran Mamdani not only maxxed out charisma he somehow raised the level cap normally attainable by humans and maxxed it out again
Reposted by Will Shirley
Reposted by Will Shirley
me: why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near
the Bird Summoner: probably a coincidence
the Bird Summoner: probably a coincidence
November 18, 2025 at 7:13 PM
me: why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near
the Bird Summoner: probably a coincidence
the Bird Summoner: probably a coincidence
Reposted by Will Shirley
#3157 A helpful tutorial
November 17, 2025 at 11:40 PM
#3157 A helpful tutorial
Reposted by Will Shirley
whenever the sun sets at 4:45 pm i open a window, lean out and yell "WRONG" as loud as i can. that usually buys me another hour or two of sunlight
November 17, 2025 at 9:48 PM
whenever the sun sets at 4:45 pm i open a window, lean out and yell "WRONG" as loud as i can. that usually buys me another hour or two of sunlight
Reposted by Will Shirley
Reposted by Will Shirley
(spending 9 billion dollars to make a robot say "i have always loved you") hard times create strong men
November 16, 2025 at 9:35 PM
(spending 9 billion dollars to make a robot say "i have always loved you") hard times create strong men
Reposted by Will Shirley
A couple hours ago I went to go install the Plague of the Dead DLC for Skyrim only discover I had to cough up about $5 to buy it and said indignantly to myself "$5 just to add zombies to the game? I think NOT!" Well, guess what I just spent $5 on
November 14, 2025 at 9:12 PM
A couple hours ago I went to go install the Plague of the Dead DLC for Skyrim only discover I had to cough up about $5 to buy it and said indignantly to myself "$5 just to add zombies to the game? I think NOT!" Well, guess what I just spent $5 on
Reposted by Will Shirley
Happy Partially Muscled Skeleton Day to all who celebrate. Be sure to let all your screams out and then disappear.
November 14, 2025 at 11:28 AM
Happy Partially Muscled Skeleton Day to all who celebrate. Be sure to let all your screams out and then disappear.