Luke
@luckwillows.bsky.social
Former journalist, current writer, dad, and games and horror guy, always and forever a Chicago Guy
https://boxd.it/1yEZr
https://boxd.it/1yEZr
Pinned
Luke
@luckwillows.bsky.social
· Jan 28
I used to say something like "I am history's greatest monster" after making a joke that bad, but I've since learned some more things about history, and I think I'm in the clear,
Reposted by Luke
"Malort advent calendar" is already such an unhinged concept but every little window just having Malort in it really pushes it over the edge into something transcendently funny
November 15, 2025 at 12:54 AM
"Malort advent calendar" is already such an unhinged concept but every little window just having Malort in it really pushes it over the edge into something transcendently funny
Reposted by Luke
Reposted by Luke
Bill Clinton's dick is the lament configuration that has cursed american politics for the entirety of my lifetime
November 15, 2025 at 12:07 AM
Bill Clinton's dick is the lament configuration that has cursed american politics for the entirety of my lifetime
Reposted by Luke
This is unbelievable. I got suspended by bluesky just for quoting the lyrics of the Beatles’ “I Want to Hold Your Hand” and changing “hold your hand” to “stab you with a big knife”
November 15, 2025 at 12:09 AM
This is unbelievable. I got suspended by bluesky just for quoting the lyrics of the Beatles’ “I Want to Hold Your Hand” and changing “hold your hand” to “stab you with a big knife”
Reposted by Luke
why is it so funny that it's lunch
Pope Leo XIV Will Have Lunch With 4 Trans Women in "Unprecedented" Meeting
https://www.them.us/story/pope-leo-xiv-lunch-trans-activists-alesia-nobile
https://www.them.us/story/pope-leo-xiv-lunch-trans-activists-alesia-nobile
November 15, 2025 at 12:49 AM
why is it so funny that it's lunch
Reposted by Luke
This dictatorship of illiterate pedophiles will fall
I am 100% feeling superior today due to my comparatively great literacy and facility with the written word vs that of our child molesting overlords
November 14, 2025 at 4:59 PM
This dictatorship of illiterate pedophiles will fall
Reposted by Luke
I don't want any part of this. Whatever it is.
November 14, 2025 at 9:30 PM
I don't want any part of this. Whatever it is.
Reposted by Luke
Kids play Call of Duty. Millennial adults play Pokémon. Perfect placement if you think about it.
Feels a little bit odd(?) to walk into a branch of the UK’s biggest toy store and through a big stand for the 18 rated Call of Duty.
November 14, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Kids play Call of Duty. Millennial adults play Pokémon. Perfect placement if you think about it.
Reposted by Luke
Total nuclear disarmament NOW, forcibly reform army and police into a National Civic Works Corps and completely overhaul American infrastructure, all 1 percenters imprisoned for the crime of hoarding and their assets seized, landlords stripped of their property, prison otherwise abolished
"my least woke opinion is---"
That's enough. We've had enough people indulging in the "thrill of a little conservatism", as a treat. Of considering reactionary thought to be a salacious and taboo in a world descending into reactionary mania.
Give me your MOST woke opinions. We're bringing it back.
That's enough. We've had enough people indulging in the "thrill of a little conservatism", as a treat. Of considering reactionary thought to be a salacious and taboo in a world descending into reactionary mania.
Give me your MOST woke opinions. We're bringing it back.
November 14, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Total nuclear disarmament NOW, forcibly reform army and police into a National Civic Works Corps and completely overhaul American infrastructure, all 1 percenters imprisoned for the crime of hoarding and their assets seized, landlords stripped of their property, prison otherwise abolished
Reposted by Luke
I am by no means a religious person but sitting in front of a grave and having the faith to feel the presence of a person who is no longer on this earth will be much better for your heart than hallucinating them on your phone
The latest iteration of this doomed cycle is... a product that shows us what it would be like if you could pull up an avatar of a dead loved one on your phone whenever you wanted to and "talk" with them. www.welcometohellworld.com/for-all-thei...
November 14, 2025 at 3:53 PM
I am by no means a religious person but sitting in front of a grave and having the faith to feel the presence of a person who is no longer on this earth will be much better for your heart than hallucinating them on your phone
Reposted by Luke
It’s being reported that Greg Bovino and 250 of his goons will be leaving Chicago. But it’s also being reported that he’ll be back, in larger numbers. But Chicago is a boxer, tired but unbowed. I wrote about how we’ll be ready. dansinker.com/posts/202…
November 14, 2025 at 2:57 PM
It’s being reported that Greg Bovino and 250 of his goons will be leaving Chicago. But it’s also being reported that he’ll be back, in larger numbers. But Chicago is a boxer, tired but unbowed. I wrote about how we’ll be ready. dansinker.com/posts/202…
more foods should be labeled to let you know they're better when you're Loaded
oh wow that’s crazy
oreos with bits of
of oreos. in them
Real Bits of Oreos
oreos with bits of
of oreos. in them
Real Bits of Oreos
November 13, 2025 at 10:57 PM
more foods should be labeled to let you know they're better when you're Loaded
Reposted by Luke
Oreoboros
oh wow that’s crazy
oreos with bits of
of oreos. in them
Real Bits of Oreos
oreos with bits of
of oreos. in them
Real Bits of Oreos
November 13, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Oreoboros
Reposted by Luke
like you have to read this stuff and realize that you are their actual audience. if everybody stopped sharing thomas chatterton williams' college application-ass essays tomorrow he would disappear from his french cottage at midnight leaving only a rat in a rumpled Charles Tyrwhitt linen ensemble
August 15, 2025 at 6:08 PM
like you have to read this stuff and realize that you are their actual audience. if everybody stopped sharing thomas chatterton williams' college application-ass essays tomorrow he would disappear from his french cottage at midnight leaving only a rat in a rumpled Charles Tyrwhitt linen ensemble
me, putting guacamole into my cart at the grocery store
November 13, 2025 at 6:47 PM
me, putting guacamole into my cart at the grocery store
damn now AI is automating the time-honored role of Delinquent Older Kid
toy company CEOs: "at long last, we have created the Sinister Talking Doll Factory from the acclaimed movie 'Don't Create the Sinister Talking Doll Factory'"
futurism.com/artificial-i...
futurism.com/artificial-i...
AI-Powered Toys Caught Telling 5-Year-Olds How to Find Knives and Start Fires With Matches
AI-powered toys are flying off the shelves -- but they're engaging in horrifically inappropriate conversations with children.
futurism.com
November 13, 2025 at 5:47 PM
damn now AI is automating the time-honored role of Delinquent Older Kid
White House to issue landmark "Shut Up Everything Is Great" report
November 13, 2025 at 5:32 PM
White House to issue landmark "Shut Up Everything Is Great" report
Reposted by Luke
As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history.
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
November 13, 2025 at 11:33 AM
As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history.
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
Reposted by Luke
former barista here (‘01-07) urging anyone who still gets their coffee at starbucks to find a different spot and support the striking workers. don’t cross the picket line! #nocontractnocoffee
As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history.
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
November 13, 2025 at 1:21 PM
former barista here (‘01-07) urging anyone who still gets their coffee at starbucks to find a different spot and support the striking workers. don’t cross the picket line! #nocontractnocoffee
sometimes in order to make friends with a big monster you gotta kick its ass a little after an hour of attempts at a boss fight
November 13, 2025 at 7:23 AM
sometimes in order to make friends with a big monster you gotta kick its ass a little after an hour of attempts at a boss fight
Reposted by Luke
His Story 🤷♂️
For folks (and journalists) who want to search the Oversight Committee email texts, I made a database for searching the 20k text files:
splendorous-chaja-f79791.netlify.app
splendorous-chaja-f79791.netlify.app
Epstein Document Search
splendorous-chaja-f79791.netlify.app
November 13, 2025 at 4:13 AM
His Story 🤷♂️
in France Men's Wearhouse is called Homme Depot
November 13, 2025 at 12:52 AM
in France Men's Wearhouse is called Homme Depot
Murder On the Orient Express (Agatha Christie, 1934)
Could be about anyone.
12x18 prints in store while I'm on parental leave!
www.sonnyross.com/shop/letsgo
#illustration #medieval #cute
12x18 prints in store while I'm on parental leave!
www.sonnyross.com/shop/letsgo
#illustration #medieval #cute
November 12, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Murder On the Orient Express (Agatha Christie, 1934)
Reposted by Luke
not taking vitamin i until you're dying of pain isn't maha it's just being a dumb guy. i know this because i am like this
JD Vance calls ibuprofen "useless medication" and implies it's not "necessary, safe and effective."
November 12, 2025 at 10:30 PM
not taking vitamin i until you're dying of pain isn't maha it's just being a dumb guy. i know this because i am like this
oh no
me: ah fuck
wife: have you taken anything
me: [completely blank look on my face]
wife: have you taken anything
me: [completely blank look on my face]
November 12, 2025 at 10:56 PM
oh no