Cardbordeaux Sommelier
@meh-guh.bsky.social
Cis she/her. Evidence to date indicates I'm immortal
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
to cheer you up, here's Patrick Warburton and his sons (two of which may actually be clones???) doing Kronk lines
December 18, 2025 at 7:34 AM
to cheer you up, here's Patrick Warburton and his sons (two of which may actually be clones???) doing Kronk lines
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
Everyone knows about Ahmed al-Ahmad, the Syrian Muslim migrant who took down one gunman. Another man, a Middle Eastern refugee, ran into a firefight and kicked the gun away from the other gunman. Police shot him, and bystanders kicked him in the head while he was down, thinking he was the terrorist.
December 18, 2025 at 6:34 AM
Everyone knows about Ahmed al-Ahmad, the Syrian Muslim migrant who took down one gunman. Another man, a Middle Eastern refugee, ran into a firefight and kicked the gun away from the other gunman. Police shot him, and bystanders kicked him in the head while he was down, thinking he was the terrorist.
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
once again time to talk about my absolute panic when the dr suggested an episiotomy for Froggie and I was flipping out about 4th degree tears and she paused and goes “you’re American? Okay. We do them differently here. We cut sideways instead of down. You’ll be fine.”
The actual process of a c-section was not actually explained to me beforehand because US healthcare, so when the nurse leaned over and said “now hold real still while the doctor has your uterus out” my only response was “WHAT”
December 17, 2025 at 12:31 PM
once again time to talk about my absolute panic when the dr suggested an episiotomy for Froggie and I was flipping out about 4th degree tears and she paused and goes “you’re American? Okay. We do them differently here. We cut sideways instead of down. You’ll be fine.”
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
Exactly this. Science is focused on ‘outcomes’, ie parent and child surviving birth, and that is important and we’ve made incredible strides but what’s been neglected is the entire experience of pregnancy and giving birth
Again, off on one of my pet tangents, but humanity had thousands of years where this kind of information *was* common knowledge, it was just knowledge that was held by women. And after the advent of modern medicine, patriarchal norms took over and that knowledge never became "science".
December 17, 2025 at 12:36 PM
Exactly this. Science is focused on ‘outcomes’, ie parent and child surviving birth, and that is important and we’ve made incredible strides but what’s been neglected is the entire experience of pregnancy and giving birth
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
i did this this down the garden centre just now and it's how i ended up dating santa
December 17, 2025 at 12:53 PM
i did this this down the garden centre just now and it's how i ended up dating santa
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Picturing very confused police at speed checks who can't work out what speed it was doing or what direction it was heading
I’ve been on the road in the new all-electric Jaguar
I’ve been on the road in the new all-electric Jaguar
www.independent.co.uk
December 17, 2025 at 11:10 AM
Picturing very confused police at speed checks who can't work out what speed it was doing or what direction it was heading
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At this point I would not be surprised if a guy who just returned from working in the Arctic for a year and a half showed up to say he gave Luigi a ride that day for an ironclad alibi.
December 17, 2025 at 10:12 AM
At this point I would not be surprised if a guy who just returned from working in the Arctic for a year and a half showed up to say he gave Luigi a ride that day for an ironclad alibi.
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
can confirm that fixing this would cost six figures, at a minimum, and just as a general rule if you like visiting old churches please do chuck a quid in their donation box
People complain about using the chemical toilet at church (our main toilet is broken and we can't afford the extremely expensive archeology required to fix it), and I'm like... Some volunteers will have to lug this across the city to empty and clean it. We are doing our best. Stop complaining.
December 16, 2025 at 5:32 PM
can confirm that fixing this would cost six figures, at a minimum, and just as a general rule if you like visiting old churches please do chuck a quid in their donation box
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
Ask and ye shall receive
December 17, 2025 at 9:44 AM
Ask and ye shall receive
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
Don't steal pies this Christmas.
December 16, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Don't steal pies this Christmas.
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
Totally irrelevant to the original skeet but I’ll take any excuse to share this piece of claymation brilliance
December 17, 2025 at 10:44 AM
Totally irrelevant to the original skeet but I’ll take any excuse to share this piece of claymation brilliance
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
Publicly shitting all over your estranged kids for daring to cut contact just proves they were right to cut contact, ma'am.
This article isn't political, but you can tell exactly who these people voted for, even if the estrangement wasn't about politics.
These Moms Are Done Being ‘Doormats’ for Their Estranged Children
Parents publicly blast their adult offspring for cutting them off, drawing tens of thousands of online followers.
www.wsj.com
December 17, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Publicly shitting all over your estranged kids for daring to cut contact just proves they were right to cut contact, ma'am.
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"Luigi Mangione cannot take a bad picture" is rapidly reaching "mass can neither be created nor destroyed" levels of scientific validity
December 17, 2025 at 2:27 AM
"Luigi Mangione cannot take a bad picture" is rapidly reaching "mass can neither be created nor destroyed" levels of scientific validity
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
HARD BOILED DETECTIVE: another cruel sunrise over the city of the damned. another corpse. another widow. another cup of black coffee to drag my sorry ass back to life- *sputtering*
ME: do you like it? it's an ethiopian washed process single origin
DETECTIVE:
ME: are you getting apricot notes
ME: do you like it? it's an ethiopian washed process single origin
DETECTIVE:
ME: are you getting apricot notes
December 16, 2025 at 12:32 PM
HARD BOILED DETECTIVE: another cruel sunrise over the city of the damned. another corpse. another widow. another cup of black coffee to drag my sorry ass back to life- *sputtering*
ME: do you like it? it's an ethiopian washed process single origin
DETECTIVE:
ME: are you getting apricot notes
ME: do you like it? it's an ethiopian washed process single origin
DETECTIVE:
ME: are you getting apricot notes
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
incredible stuff over at r/ididnthaveeggs
It’s a eggnog recipe
It’s a eggnog recipe
December 16, 2025 at 10:53 PM
incredible stuff over at r/ididnthaveeggs
It’s a eggnog recipe
It’s a eggnog recipe
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
Turns out that if you give a bunch of adults who were once bullied the opportunity to re-do high school... A lot of them would jump at the chance to become bullies!🧵
December 16, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Turns out that if you give a bunch of adults who were once bullied the opportunity to re-do high school... A lot of them would jump at the chance to become bullies!🧵
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
If I’m remembering this correctly this is the one competent person in the administration and when she went to a different part of the presidents airplane for a meeting Matt Gaetz immediately started talking to Trump and when she got back he was like “this is the attorney general now”
December 16, 2025 at 3:34 PM
If I’m remembering this correctly this is the one competent person in the administration and when she went to a different part of the presidents airplane for a meeting Matt Gaetz immediately started talking to Trump and when she got back he was like “this is the attorney general now”
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
This is actually how Heated Rivalry ends
December 16, 2025 at 10:47 PM
This is actually how Heated Rivalry ends
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in the history of cops sitting on their own dicks, no dicks have ever been sat on as hard as the cops have in this case
this is art
this is art
December 17, 2025 at 12:10 AM
in the history of cops sitting on their own dicks, no dicks have ever been sat on as hard as the cops have in this case
this is art
this is art
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
the irony if the government’s claim is denied because they submitted imperfect records
December 17, 2025 at 12:36 AM
the irony if the government’s claim is denied because they submitted imperfect records
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
Anything could happen here of course but will be pretty funny if his case gets thrown out then he immediately dies from getting his dick sucked 10,000 times.
December 17, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Anything could happen here of course but will be pretty funny if his case gets thrown out then he immediately dies from getting his dick sucked 10,000 times.
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
Using gen ai for text and asset placeholders is not solving a problem; games have been made for decades with regular placeholders. studios using AI this way are just testing the water to see what more they can get away with - which will inevitably mean laying off skilled workers, to make worse games
December 16, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Using gen ai for text and asset placeholders is not solving a problem; games have been made for decades with regular placeholders. studios using AI this way are just testing the water to see what more they can get away with - which will inevitably mean laying off skilled workers, to make worse games
Reposted by Cardbordeaux Sommelier
I wasn't born to work in an office and create spreadsheets, I was born to stage an elaborate heist and steal an enormous emerald known only as 'The Soul of the Forest'
February 5, 2025 at 12:26 PM
I wasn't born to work in an office and create spreadsheets, I was born to stage an elaborate heist and steal an enormous emerald known only as 'The Soul of the Forest'
Supermarket I worked in was actually and obviously on fire once and people were still trying to do their deli counter shopping as the air filled with black smoke. People are wild
One woman wanted to pay before evacuating due to the fire alarms going off, was enraged i left without her when she refused to budge
December 16, 2025 at 11:58 PM
Supermarket I worked in was actually and obviously on fire once and people were still trying to do their deli counter shopping as the air filled with black smoke. People are wild