Pinned
Vaquita🐄
@morakins.bsky.social
· Nov 17
All I can hear is my tinnitus
Anyways, there's aliens at the beach
Anyways, there's aliens at the beach
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
I get no thanks or recognition for Not Being Worse. I could be worse and yet I choose not to be. But if this continues perhaps I'll be forced to reconsider...
January 19, 2025 at 3:12 PM
I get no thanks or recognition for Not Being Worse. I could be worse and yet I choose not to be. But if this continues perhaps I'll be forced to reconsider...
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
Instead of "I apologize for the delay," write "thank you for your patience." In lieu of "sorry for the oversight," write
"if you're so perfect, why don't you fu*king do it, Marsha."
Follow me for more etiquette tips. 😁
"if you're so perfect, why don't you fu*king do it, Marsha."
Follow me for more etiquette tips. 😁
January 8, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Instead of "I apologize for the delay," write "thank you for your patience." In lieu of "sorry for the oversight," write
"if you're so perfect, why don't you fu*king do it, Marsha."
Follow me for more etiquette tips. 😁
"if you're so perfect, why don't you fu*king do it, Marsha."
Follow me for more etiquette tips. 😁
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
I sure carry a torch around saying “Who goes there?” an awful lot for such a chill guy
January 4, 2025 at 8:27 PM
I sure carry a torch around saying “Who goes there?” an awful lot for such a chill guy
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
All I want is a cottage in the Scottish Highlands, a freshly-fallen snow, a crackling fire, a riveting mystery novel, a kettle on the stove, and a healthy supply of emotional support scones.
January 2, 2025 at 11:58 PM
All I want is a cottage in the Scottish Highlands, a freshly-fallen snow, a crackling fire, a riveting mystery novel, a kettle on the stove, and a healthy supply of emotional support scones.
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
(starting a constructive dialogue) Listen dumbass,
November 27, 2024 at 1:57 PM
(starting a constructive dialogue) Listen dumbass,
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
Actually, in France male athletes wear jacquestraps to protect their oui ouis
November 27, 2024 at 4:51 PM
Actually, in France male athletes wear jacquestraps to protect their oui ouis
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
doctor: make sure you drink plenty of fluids
me: that’s literally all i drink
me: that’s literally all i drink
November 23, 2024 at 6:28 PM
doctor: make sure you drink plenty of fluids
me: that’s literally all i drink
me: that’s literally all i drink
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
please stop calling it an echo chamber
— me, to my gynecologist
— me, to my gynecologist
November 23, 2024 at 1:07 PM
please stop calling it an echo chamber
— me, to my gynecologist
— me, to my gynecologist
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
I'm less of a "grab life by the horns" person. More like a clammy handshake
November 22, 2024 at 12:15 PM
I'm less of a "grab life by the horns" person. More like a clammy handshake
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
i think that if you give people scratch-offs as a holiday gift, they should have to give you the money if they win anything. well, there you go. hopefully this extraordinarily terrible stupid-ass opinion brightens your day
November 22, 2024 at 12:18 PM
i think that if you give people scratch-offs as a holiday gift, they should have to give you the money if they win anything. well, there you go. hopefully this extraordinarily terrible stupid-ass opinion brightens your day
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
Sweet potatoes are just regular potatoes that remember birthdays and anniversaries.
November 21, 2024 at 2:01 PM
Sweet potatoes are just regular potatoes that remember birthdays and anniversaries.
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
Doctor suggested I eat better, exercise more, and drink less.
We laughed and laughed…
Then he wrote me a bunch of prescriptions.
We laughed and laughed…
Then he wrote me a bunch of prescriptions.
November 20, 2024 at 7:17 PM
Doctor suggested I eat better, exercise more, and drink less.
We laughed and laughed…
Then he wrote me a bunch of prescriptions.
We laughed and laughed…
Then he wrote me a bunch of prescriptions.
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
me: Ok now let’s do a silly one
first guy in police line up: *kermit voice* Give me all your cash
first guy in police line up: *kermit voice* Give me all your cash
November 20, 2024 at 4:36 AM
me: Ok now let’s do a silly one
first guy in police line up: *kermit voice* Give me all your cash
first guy in police line up: *kermit voice* Give me all your cash
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
every burger joint menu looks like
THE CLASSIC
-Just like momma used to make. Tomato lettuce and onion with cheese of your choice.
THE BIG WET DADDY BURGER
-This nasty half-pound motherfucker comes smothered with sautéed mushrooms and onions, candied bacon, garlic aioli and a 4-cheese blend.
THE CLASSIC
-Just like momma used to make. Tomato lettuce and onion with cheese of your choice.
THE BIG WET DADDY BURGER
-This nasty half-pound motherfucker comes smothered with sautéed mushrooms and onions, candied bacon, garlic aioli and a 4-cheese blend.
November 18, 2024 at 7:01 PM
every burger joint menu looks like
THE CLASSIC
-Just like momma used to make. Tomato lettuce and onion with cheese of your choice.
THE BIG WET DADDY BURGER
-This nasty half-pound motherfucker comes smothered with sautéed mushrooms and onions, candied bacon, garlic aioli and a 4-cheese blend.
THE CLASSIC
-Just like momma used to make. Tomato lettuce and onion with cheese of your choice.
THE BIG WET DADDY BURGER
-This nasty half-pound motherfucker comes smothered with sautéed mushrooms and onions, candied bacon, garlic aioli and a 4-cheese blend.
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
ME: oh you can call anyone daddy these days. guy, girl, genderless, it all works
DENTIST: ok but I’m asking you specifically to not call me that
DENTIST: ok but I’m asking you specifically to not call me that
November 19, 2024 at 3:09 PM
ME: oh you can call anyone daddy these days. guy, girl, genderless, it all works
DENTIST: ok but I’m asking you specifically to not call me that
DENTIST: ok but I’m asking you specifically to not call me that
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
nice joke you have there. would be a shame if i replied with a different, much worse, punchline
November 18, 2024 at 2:51 PM
nice joke you have there. would be a shame if i replied with a different, much worse, punchline
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
Vanilla is one of the most popular scents. But have you ever sat down to experience the aroma of a homecooked lasagna? It reminds you of family, it reminds you of home & it fills you with comfort. This is why we, the folks at Dove, are introducing a brand new line of soaps and-
November 18, 2024 at 8:31 PM
Vanilla is one of the most popular scents. But have you ever sat down to experience the aroma of a homecooked lasagna? It reminds you of family, it reminds you of home & it fills you with comfort. This is why we, the folks at Dove, are introducing a brand new line of soaps and-
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
if i was a mama monkey with 10 little monkeys i probably would let them keep jumping on the bed. i don’t need all 10 of them
November 19, 2024 at 3:49 AM
if i was a mama monkey with 10 little monkeys i probably would let them keep jumping on the bed. i don’t need all 10 of them
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
Life tip: when someone has headphones in, they’re not looking for a conversation.
November 18, 2024 at 9:40 AM
Life tip: when someone has headphones in, they’re not looking for a conversation.
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
Elmo’s beef with Rocco has got to be one of the top ten beefs in pop culture.
November 18, 2024 at 5:35 AM
Elmo’s beef with Rocco has got to be one of the top ten beefs in pop culture.
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
i love elevator etiquette. absolutely no expectation to make small talk with other people. everyone just stares at a wall in silence
November 19, 2024 at 1:06 AM
i love elevator etiquette. absolutely no expectation to make small talk with other people. everyone just stares at a wall in silence
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
i planted a quarter last summer
November 18, 2024 at 5:02 PM
i planted a quarter last summer
Reposted by Vaquita🐄
A cooking competition where contestants make whatever they want but my husband wanders around the kitchen and stands in front of the drawer they need
November 17, 2024 at 3:00 PM
A cooking competition where contestants make whatever they want but my husband wanders around the kitchen and stands in front of the drawer they need