Tom Turkey
@owlofthenorth.bsky.social
Last to the table
In the Pacific Northwest
In the Pacific Northwest
I don't know. Today, in a hipster coffee shop, a big burly construction worker type came up to me with tears in his eyes saying, "I can't believe Trump blew Clinton! I was going to ask Trump to be the godfather of my child! Now what do I do?"
Although many people are saying it, I do not believe our current president sucked off former president Bill Clinton on camera. I have not seen sufficient evidence that our current president gave the former president a blowie in a way that was memorialized in a photo. That's not something I believe.
November 15, 2025 at 2:37 AM
I don't know. Today, in a hipster coffee shop, a big burly construction worker type came up to me with tears in his eyes saying, "I can't believe Trump blew Clinton! I was going to ask Trump to be the godfather of my child! Now what do I do?"
Trump just doing vibe-reigning, huh?
November 15, 2025 at 2:32 AM
Trump just doing vibe-reigning, huh?
Reposted by Tom Turkey
sexually transmitted brainworms
November 14, 2025 at 8:31 PM
sexually transmitted brainworms
Anyone claiming more than the standard deduction on their personal U.S. taxes gets drug tested. If they fail (cannabis doesn't count), that money goes to drug treatment & homeless housing.
Corporations claiming more than the most basic tax deductions get their executives and directors drug tested.
Corporations claiming more than the most basic tax deductions get their executives and directors drug tested.
"my least woke opinion is---"
That's enough. We've had enough people indulging in the "thrill of a little conservatism", as a treat. Of considering reactionary thought to be a salacious and taboo in a world descending into reactionary mania.
Give me your MOST woke opinions. We're bringing it back.
That's enough. We've had enough people indulging in the "thrill of a little conservatism", as a treat. Of considering reactionary thought to be a salacious and taboo in a world descending into reactionary mania.
Give me your MOST woke opinions. We're bringing it back.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Anyone claiming more than the standard deduction on their personal U.S. taxes gets drug tested. If they fail (cannabis doesn't count), that money goes to drug treatment & homeless housing.
Corporations claiming more than the most basic tax deductions get their executives and directors drug tested.
Corporations claiming more than the most basic tax deductions get their executives and directors drug tested.
Reposted by Tom Turkey
Russia, if you're listening, the president said you don't have the balls to release anything about him because you need him and he said you are dumb and smelly and your momma dresses you funny.
*That should do it.
*That should do it.
November 13, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Russia, if you're listening, the president said you don't have the balls to release anything about him because you need him and he said you are dumb and smelly and your momma dresses you funny.
*That should do it.
*That should do it.
Reposted by Tom Turkey
The truth always comes out eventually.
November 13, 2025 at 7:39 AM
The truth always comes out eventually.
Reposted by Tom Turkey
No notes….nailed it 🎯
November 11, 2025 at 1:34 AM
No notes….nailed it 🎯
Reposted by Tom Turkey
Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…
November 10, 2025 at 2:45 AM
Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…
Reposted by Tom Turkey
agreeing to make a terrible deal while your main opponent is quite literally being boo'd on live tv by an entire stadium of people is the kind of political instinct you'd normally only find in a 3 week old dead goldfish
November 10, 2025 at 12:36 AM
agreeing to make a terrible deal while your main opponent is quite literally being boo'd on live tv by an entire stadium of people is the kind of political instinct you'd normally only find in a 3 week old dead goldfish
Reposted by Tom Turkey
pre-writing a devastating obituary for your enemy is god-tier hating of a kind you don’t often see anymore. renaissance haterism. beautiful stuff.
A Sharon Begley byline, almost 5 years after her death.
Upon hearing the news James Watson had died, a STAT reporter said in our Slack, "I wish I could read what Sharon would have written."
Incredible news: Sharon in fact did pre-write a Watson obit. And it is masterful and excoriating.
🧪🧬🧫
Upon hearing the news James Watson had died, a STAT reporter said in our Slack, "I wish I could read what Sharon would have written."
Incredible news: Sharon in fact did pre-write a Watson obit. And it is masterful and excoriating.
🧪🧬🧫
James Watson, dead at 97, was a scientific legend and a pariah among his peers
James Watson, the co-discoverer of the structure of DNA who died Thursday at 97, was a scientific legend and a pariah among his peers.
www.statnews.com
November 9, 2025 at 12:55 AM
pre-writing a devastating obituary for your enemy is god-tier hating of a kind you don’t often see anymore. renaissance haterism. beautiful stuff.
Reposted by Tom Turkey
We need this to penetrate public consciousness.
Sooner or later they come hat in hand to govt. They will tell SNAP recipients to “get a job.” To billionaires peddling an idea no one needs, they open the coffers filled with our tax dollars.
Sooner or later they come hat in hand to govt. They will tell SNAP recipients to “get a job.” To billionaires peddling an idea no one needs, they open the coffers filled with our tax dollars.
"Faced with this dilemma—where do you get a trillion dollars quick?—OpenAI is getting ready to run hat in hand to the taxpayer for subsidies, like every great Ayn Randian self-created entrepreneur, pulling themselves up by their bootstraps." prospect.org/2025/11/07/o...
OpenAI Is Maneuvering for a Government Bailout - The American Prospect
For artificial intelligence to ever pencil out, some truly enormous revenue streams will be required. And if you need trillions of dollars for data centers forever, there’s only one entity to turn to:...
prospect.org
November 7, 2025 at 4:29 PM
We need this to penetrate public consciousness.
Sooner or later they come hat in hand to govt. They will tell SNAP recipients to “get a job.” To billionaires peddling an idea no one needs, they open the coffers filled with our tax dollars.
Sooner or later they come hat in hand to govt. They will tell SNAP recipients to “get a job.” To billionaires peddling an idea no one needs, they open the coffers filled with our tax dollars.
This dude really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really doesn't want that Epstein vote, huh?
November 6, 2025 at 11:02 PM
This dude really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really doesn't want that Epstein vote, huh?
Reposted by Tom Turkey
This is really impressive. They invented racism.
A new paper suggests a photo can tell a recruiter much about an applicant’s personality
Should facial analysis help determine whom companies hire?
A new paper suggests a photo can tell a recruiter much about an applicant’s personality
econ.st
November 6, 2025 at 9:40 PM
This is really impressive. They invented racism.
Remember Charlie Kirk?
Me neither.
Me neither.
November 6, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Remember Charlie Kirk?
Me neither.
Me neither.
Reposted by Tom Turkey
time to step away from the starbucks drinks, y’all. do not cross the picket line.
unions are how we fight back. corporate monopolies are heavily consolidated right now. it’s a large part of why prices are high and wages are low.
unions are how we fight back. corporate monopolies are heavily consolidated right now. it’s a large part of why prices are high and wages are low.
BREAKING: Starbucks workers have just authorized a massive strike.
Union Starbucks baristas voted to authorize the strike by 92%.
Now baristas in over 25 cities could launch an unfair labor practice strike on Thursday, November 13th.
Union Starbucks baristas voted to authorize the strike by 92%.
Now baristas in over 25 cities could launch an unfair labor practice strike on Thursday, November 13th.
November 5, 2025 at 5:18 PM
time to step away from the starbucks drinks, y’all. do not cross the picket line.
unions are how we fight back. corporate monopolies are heavily consolidated right now. it’s a large part of why prices are high and wages are low.
unions are how we fight back. corporate monopolies are heavily consolidated right now. it’s a large part of why prices are high and wages are low.
Reposted by Tom Turkey
Imagine having a kid in this daycare who watches as their teacher is bodily dragged away by masked goons.
Federal agents pulling a woman out of Rayito Del Sol, a daycare by Lane Tech high school
November 5, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Imagine having a kid in this daycare who watches as their teacher is bodily dragged away by masked goons.
It wouldn't work.
Too many people would complain about not being able to write-in their ex or in-law.
Too many people would complain about not being able to write-in their ex or in-law.
The people behind Fat Bear Week, and Fat Squirrel Week, are missing the obvious. Don't they know that what we *really* want is "Fat Ass Week." My favorite to win it all would be "Chonky Badonkadonkey." #fatbearweek #humor #comedy
November 4, 2025 at 7:23 AM
It wouldn't work.
Too many people would complain about not being able to write-in their ex or in-law.
Too many people would complain about not being able to write-in their ex or in-law.
They are cracking. They know that the Trump regime will forever be a drag on their scabby asses.
www.wired.com/story/nancy-...
www.wired.com/story/nancy-...
Nancy Mace Curses, Berates Confused Cops in Airport Meltdown: Police Report
At an airport in South Carolina on Thursday, US representative Nancy Mace called police officers “fucking incompetent” and berated them repeatedly, according to an incident report.
www.wired.com
October 31, 2025 at 11:29 PM
They are cracking. They know that the Trump regime will forever be a drag on their scabby asses.
www.wired.com/story/nancy-...
www.wired.com/story/nancy-...
Reposted by Tom Turkey
"some people abuse SNAP."
Motherfucker, oil companies break the law all the time but you don't give a shit about that.
Given the choice, I say let SNAP exist (even given the microscopic amount of cheaters) and save money with the oil subsidies.
Motherfucker, oil companies break the law all the time but you don't give a shit about that.
Given the choice, I say let SNAP exist (even given the microscopic amount of cheaters) and save money with the oil subsidies.
October 31, 2025 at 4:22 PM
"some people abuse SNAP."
Motherfucker, oil companies break the law all the time but you don't give a shit about that.
Given the choice, I say let SNAP exist (even given the microscopic amount of cheaters) and save money with the oil subsidies.
Motherfucker, oil companies break the law all the time but you don't give a shit about that.
Given the choice, I say let SNAP exist (even given the microscopic amount of cheaters) and save money with the oil subsidies.
Get a load of this slob.
October 26, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Get a load of this slob.
They really are going to crash food production, aren't they? They think that food riots will justify their declaration of martial law, didn't they?
October 25, 2025 at 4:39 PM
They really are going to crash food production, aren't they? They think that food riots will justify their declaration of martial law, didn't they?
Reposted by Tom Turkey
Quite an unfortunate place to drift off into an ellipsis.
October 23, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Quite an unfortunate place to drift off into an ellipsis.
Reposted by Tom Turkey
So they didn’t like the ad. Let’s just post Reagan’s 5 min speech against tariffs as it appears on YouTube.
Over and over. On all platforms (some of y’all are still on X).
*1981 Sherrilyn horrified by 2025 Sherrilyn saying “let’s post Reagan’s speech.”
youtu.be/5t5QK03KXPc
Over and over. On all platforms (some of y’all are still on X).
*1981 Sherrilyn horrified by 2025 Sherrilyn saying “let’s post Reagan’s speech.”
youtu.be/5t5QK03KXPc
President Reagan's Radio Address on Free and Fair Trade on April 25, 1987
YouTube video by Reagan Library
youtu.be
October 24, 2025 at 5:14 PM
So they didn’t like the ad. Let’s just post Reagan’s 5 min speech against tariffs as it appears on YouTube.
Over and over. On all platforms (some of y’all are still on X).
*1981 Sherrilyn horrified by 2025 Sherrilyn saying “let’s post Reagan’s speech.”
youtu.be/5t5QK03KXPc
Over and over. On all platforms (some of y’all are still on X).
*1981 Sherrilyn horrified by 2025 Sherrilyn saying “let’s post Reagan’s speech.”
youtu.be/5t5QK03KXPc