Reposted by Ramesie
you don't see husbands realizing they forgot their anniversary and searching for a gift and seeing the necklace their wife wanted in a window for $50 and pulling out an empty wallet and moths flying out and then seeing a poster that says "BOXING MATCH FIRST PRIZE $50" and saying "hmmm" much anymore
June 6, 2025 at 10:33 PM
you don't see husbands realizing they forgot their anniversary and searching for a gift and seeing the necklace their wife wanted in a window for $50 and pulling out an empty wallet and moths flying out and then seeing a poster that says "BOXING MATCH FIRST PRIZE $50" and saying "hmmm" much anymore
Reposted by Ramesie
“The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money" say people who think that constantly raising the price of goods and charging increasingly large subscriptions and rents for everything, while people's wages stay the same is a sustainable model
July 1, 2025 at 8:20 PM
“The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money" say people who think that constantly raising the price of goods and charging increasingly large subscriptions and rents for everything, while people's wages stay the same is a sustainable model
Reposted by Ramesie
“hey baby,” i say, approaching you at the bar. “watch this”
i put a cherry stem in my mouth seductively. you look away, but eventually you can’t help but notice that i’ve managed to get it wrapped tightly around my neck. in seconds, i am dead.
i put a cherry stem in my mouth seductively. you look away, but eventually you can’t help but notice that i’ve managed to get it wrapped tightly around my neck. in seconds, i am dead.
May 3, 2025 at 11:22 PM
“hey baby,” i say, approaching you at the bar. “watch this”
i put a cherry stem in my mouth seductively. you look away, but eventually you can’t help but notice that i’ve managed to get it wrapped tightly around my neck. in seconds, i am dead.
i put a cherry stem in my mouth seductively. you look away, but eventually you can’t help but notice that i’ve managed to get it wrapped tightly around my neck. in seconds, i am dead.
Reposted by Ramesie
“Putting a hat on a hat” is literally a term actual comedians use to describe something as trying so hard to be funny it is no longer funny.
"They say I wear a lot of hats," Elon Musk jokes in cabinet meeting. He grabbed a red "Gulf of America" hat from the cabinet room table and put it over his black DOGE hat.
"Even my hat has a hat."
"Even my hat has a hat."
April 30, 2025 at 8:11 PM
“Putting a hat on a hat” is literally a term actual comedians use to describe something as trying so hard to be funny it is no longer funny.
Reposted by Ramesie
Writing is great because sometimes when you finally crack the subtitle for your next newsletter you get to sit there eating chuckles like a gigglebones till your tumtum hurts.
April 1, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Writing is great because sometimes when you finally crack the subtitle for your next newsletter you get to sit there eating chuckles like a gigglebones till your tumtum hurts.
Reposted by Ramesie
KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
July 17, 2023 at 3:57 AM
KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor
Reposted by Ramesie
Happening right now, there's so much support it's kind of wild
Yo, the town of Bellingham WA is considering making the city an official transgender sanctuary and they're having a town hall meeting this Monday at about 6:30-7ish! Would mean a lot to me if folks in the area showed support, id love a city close to my heart to be a sanctuary!
April 29, 2025 at 2:34 AM
Happening right now, there's so much support it's kind of wild
Reposted by Ramesie
So you’re saying we could solve all the financial problems of 379 million of us and impact just 19 households. What an interesting fact. Fun little bit of trivia.
The 19 richest U.S. households saw a $1 trillion wealth increase in 2024, a rise that exceeds the size of Switzerland’s economy.
These 19 households now control $2.6 trillion in wealth — almost as much wealth as the bottom 50% of American households.
If this isn't an oligarchy, what is?
These 19 households now control $2.6 trillion in wealth — almost as much wealth as the bottom 50% of American households.
If this isn't an oligarchy, what is?
April 29, 2025 at 2:35 AM
So you’re saying we could solve all the financial problems of 379 million of us and impact just 19 households. What an interesting fact. Fun little bit of trivia.
Reposted by Ramesie
me: help help Featherlace is chasing me, he's trying to kill me with a chainsaw
them: um don't you mean Leatherface
me: wait what did i say
them: Featherlace
me: lol yes i meant Leatherface
them: um don't you mean Leatherface
me: wait what did i say
them: Featherlace
me: lol yes i meant Leatherface
August 12, 2023 at 9:04 PM
me: help help Featherlace is chasing me, he's trying to kill me with a chainsaw
them: um don't you mean Leatherface
me: wait what did i say
them: Featherlace
me: lol yes i meant Leatherface
them: um don't you mean Leatherface
me: wait what did i say
them: Featherlace
me: lol yes i meant Leatherface
Reposted by Ramesie
This came out of nowhere…
April 23, 2025 at 10:54 PM
This came out of nowhere…
Reposted by Ramesie
I heard there was a secret ooze
It turned four turtles into dudes
But you don't really care for pizza, do ya?
They fought like this,
Two swords, a stick
A couple sai
Some nunchuck tricks
Those Ninja boys-a callin
Cowabunga
It turned four turtles into dudes
But you don't really care for pizza, do ya?
They fought like this,
Two swords, a stick
A couple sai
Some nunchuck tricks
Those Ninja boys-a callin
Cowabunga
March 29, 2025 at 10:11 PM
I heard there was a secret ooze
It turned four turtles into dudes
But you don't really care for pizza, do ya?
They fought like this,
Two swords, a stick
A couple sai
Some nunchuck tricks
Those Ninja boys-a callin
Cowabunga
It turned four turtles into dudes
But you don't really care for pizza, do ya?
They fought like this,
Two swords, a stick
A couple sai
Some nunchuck tricks
Those Ninja boys-a callin
Cowabunga
Reposted by Ramesie
Never Forget
February 10, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Never Forget
Reposted by Ramesie
Reposted by Ramesie
There's a story at the bottom of this bottle and I'm the pen.
And the whiskey is the ink.
And the bar? That's the library.
So you're the customer- wait, library... customer, what is that called?
And the label is that grippy part of the pen that I used to chew on in like 4th grade.
And the whiskey is the ink.
And the bar? That's the library.
So you're the customer- wait, library... customer, what is that called?
And the label is that grippy part of the pen that I used to chew on in like 4th grade.
February 8, 2025 at 11:14 AM
There's a story at the bottom of this bottle and I'm the pen.
And the whiskey is the ink.
And the bar? That's the library.
So you're the customer- wait, library... customer, what is that called?
And the label is that grippy part of the pen that I used to chew on in like 4th grade.
And the whiskey is the ink.
And the bar? That's the library.
So you're the customer- wait, library... customer, what is that called?
And the label is that grippy part of the pen that I used to chew on in like 4th grade.
Reposted by Ramesie
it’s incredibly annoying how correct everyone was warning the dangers of going status quo with the democratic party 6 years ago
February 7, 2025 at 10:13 PM
it’s incredibly annoying how correct everyone was warning the dangers of going status quo with the democratic party 6 years ago
Reposted by Ramesie
Just realised that "Gene Hackman" is the exact name that Hideo Kojima would give a biochemist
February 4, 2025 at 10:19 AM
Just realised that "Gene Hackman" is the exact name that Hideo Kojima would give a biochemist
Reposted by Ramesie
Peter Steele > peter thiel
February 4, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Peter Steele > peter thiel
Reposted by Ramesie
[playing poker]
FRIEND: I’m all in
ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too
FRIEND: um, a pair of kings
ME: you bet we are
FRIEND: I’m all in
ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too
FRIEND: um, a pair of kings
ME: you bet we are
December 17, 2024 at 11:08 PM
[playing poker]
FRIEND: I’m all in
ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too
FRIEND: um, a pair of kings
ME: you bet we are
FRIEND: I’m all in
ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too
FRIEND: um, a pair of kings
ME: you bet we are
Reposted by Ramesie
An interesting fact about the band ZZ Top is that their singer Frank Instrument is the only member who didn’t play an instrument
January 28, 2025 at 6:09 AM
An interesting fact about the band ZZ Top is that their singer Frank Instrument is the only member who didn’t play an instrument
Reposted by Ramesie
re-reminder
January 26, 2025 at 7:52 PM
re-reminder
Reposted by Ramesie
I started to write a quote-post for this and stopped in the middle to write something else before returning, which I think is more apt than anything I was going to write so
ADHD folks can also use this method for chores. Just wander and do what's in front of you, and if you get distracted on another task, follow that till something else grabs you. Keep going and your space will get cleaner. I call it the roomba method.
January 22, 2025 at 2:55 PM
I started to write a quote-post for this and stopped in the middle to write something else before returning, which I think is more apt than anything I was going to write so
Reposted by Ramesie
I bet there's a guy in Burbank who's never heard of David Lynch and thinks the Big Boy died.
January 20, 2025 at 12:02 AM
I bet there's a guy in Burbank who's never heard of David Lynch and thinks the Big Boy died.
Reposted by Ramesie
My monkey butler and my regular butler are often at odds about how much thrown poop there should be on the walls
January 20, 2025 at 3:09 AM
My monkey butler and my regular butler are often at odds about how much thrown poop there should be on the walls