Hermes Trismegistus
@scattergunrich.bsky.social
I’m only a waste of time once you get to know me.
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
The country is being led by a bully and a nerd. Only the punks can save us now
January 30, 2025 at 2:22 AM
The country is being led by a bully and a nerd. Only the punks can save us now
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
"Look, all we have to do is walk into a bar and the joke will write itself, trust me."
January 20, 2025 at 6:23 PM
"Look, all we have to do is walk into a bar and the joke will write itself, trust me."
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
Me, frantically chasing the janitor who just cleaned wrappers from every taco truck in the city off my desk: STOP, MY RESEARCH!
January 14, 2025 at 11:43 AM
Me, frantically chasing the janitor who just cleaned wrappers from every taco truck in the city off my desk: STOP, MY RESEARCH!
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
imagine being in a doomsday bunker and someone takes out an acoustic guitar
January 7, 2025 at 1:47 PM
imagine being in a doomsday bunker and someone takes out an acoustic guitar
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Call me when an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cheese.
December 4, 2024 at 4:21 AM
Call me when an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cheese.
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[David Attenborough voice]
After wearing it for their entire childhood, the human teenager must shed their coat and bear even the harshest cold in order to prove their strength and attract a mate. In fact, wearing a coat is seen as a sign of weakness amongst their herd.
After wearing it for their entire childhood, the human teenager must shed their coat and bear even the harshest cold in order to prove their strength and attract a mate. In fact, wearing a coat is seen as a sign of weakness amongst their herd.
December 3, 2024 at 2:06 PM
[David Attenborough voice]
After wearing it for their entire childhood, the human teenager must shed their coat and bear even the harshest cold in order to prove their strength and attract a mate. In fact, wearing a coat is seen as a sign of weakness amongst their herd.
After wearing it for their entire childhood, the human teenager must shed their coat and bear even the harshest cold in order to prove their strength and attract a mate. In fact, wearing a coat is seen as a sign of weakness amongst their herd.
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
The heart wants what it wants. The liver is rife with jealousy. The spleen dreams of a more innocent time. The pancreas can barely contain its unbridled lust. The kidneys are weary from the weight of years harboring a dark and twisted secret. The gallbladder quietly plots revenge
December 3, 2024 at 10:38 PM
The heart wants what it wants. The liver is rife with jealousy. The spleen dreams of a more innocent time. The pancreas can barely contain its unbridled lust. The kidneys are weary from the weight of years harboring a dark and twisted secret. The gallbladder quietly plots revenge
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
You likely grew up with many of her songs, the call and response inspired by the long tradition of communal Black music (gift link)
Ella Jenkins, Musician Who Found an Audience in Children, Dies at 100 (Gift Article)
Performing and recording, she transformed what was seen as a marginal genre in the music industry into a celebration of shared humanity.
www.nytimes.com
November 27, 2024 at 8:23 PM
You likely grew up with many of her songs, the call and response inspired by the long tradition of communal Black music (gift link)
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
I'm not a liar. I have an English degree. I'm an unreliable narrator.
November 26, 2024 at 5:29 AM
I'm not a liar. I have an English degree. I'm an unreliable narrator.
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
Priests, rabbis and horses sure do walk into a lot of bars for the sake of jokes.
November 26, 2024 at 10:01 PM
Priests, rabbis and horses sure do walk into a lot of bars for the sake of jokes.
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
Watching my children sleep: Look at their sweet, peaceful faces, I love them so much
Watching my husband sleep: This motherfucker doesn't have a care in the world, must be nice
Watching my husband sleep: This motherfucker doesn't have a care in the world, must be nice
November 25, 2024 at 10:20 PM
Watching my children sleep: Look at their sweet, peaceful faces, I love them so much
Watching my husband sleep: This motherfucker doesn't have a care in the world, must be nice
Watching my husband sleep: This motherfucker doesn't have a care in the world, must be nice
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
i wish people had to show a library card to vote
November 22, 2024 at 6:33 PM
i wish people had to show a library card to vote
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Remember when we had to carry around our flip phones AND a digital camera? My god we were like pack mules
October 14, 2023 at 7:13 PM
Remember when we had to carry around our flip phones AND a digital camera? My god we were like pack mules
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
Almost everything I know, I learned against my will.
November 22, 2024 at 4:52 AM
Almost everything I know, I learned against my will.
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
Word of the day is ‘quiddler’ (19th century): one who pays great attention to trivial matters as a way of avoiding the important ones.
November 21, 2024 at 12:14 PM
Word of the day is ‘quiddler’ (19th century): one who pays great attention to trivial matters as a way of avoiding the important ones.
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
Every traffic light in the world is red when you need a bathroom and green when you need to write something down
November 21, 2024 at 2:46 AM
Every traffic light in the world is red when you need a bathroom and green when you need to write something down
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It was the Busta Rhymes
It was the Wusta Rhymes
It was the Wusta Rhymes
November 20, 2024 at 4:27 PM
It was the Busta Rhymes
It was the Wusta Rhymes
It was the Wusta Rhymes
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
Did it hurt? When I kicked you to the curb? I hope so.
November 20, 2024 at 4:13 PM
Did it hurt? When I kicked you to the curb? I hope so.
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
Wearing a Packers cheese bra and large mouth bass tail like some Wisconsin mermaid
November 20, 2024 at 12:53 AM
Wearing a Packers cheese bra and large mouth bass tail like some Wisconsin mermaid
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
Once you've figured out how to parent your first kid, it's already too late; the only way to put that knowledge into practice is to have another kid.
Unfortunately, the second kid is so different from the first kid that none of the stuff you learned applies. It's a flawed system.
Unfortunately, the second kid is so different from the first kid that none of the stuff you learned applies. It's a flawed system.
November 20, 2024 at 10:23 PM
Once you've figured out how to parent your first kid, it's already too late; the only way to put that knowledge into practice is to have another kid.
Unfortunately, the second kid is so different from the first kid that none of the stuff you learned applies. It's a flawed system.
Unfortunately, the second kid is so different from the first kid that none of the stuff you learned applies. It's a flawed system.
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
Some days you’re the dodgeball, some days you’re the face
November 19, 2024 at 8:40 PM
Some days you’re the dodgeball, some days you’re the face
Reposted by Hermes Trismegistus
Blacks for Trump HQ still waiting for the call.
November 18, 2024 at 7:59 PM
Blacks for Trump HQ still waiting for the call.