Sushi Umbrella
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sushiumbrella.bsky.social
Sushi Umbrella
@sushiumbrella.bsky.social
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Hello fellow humans looking at their phone to avoid looking at their family members
December 25, 2025 at 3:48 PM
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you there boy, what bullshit is this
December 25, 2025 at 5:30 AM
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Mp3 players fucking rock we fucked up so bad putting everything on phone
December 25, 2025 at 7:34 PM
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Talking to ourselves in ways that are realistic & validating can be hard because we've been conditioned to believe there is a conflict between the two. There is not. Realistic self talk acknowledges our value, strengths & effort, as well as our challenges & vulnerabilities.
December 25, 2025 at 12:59 AM
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SIMPLY HAVING A
December 14, 2024 at 1:23 PM
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December 24, 2025 at 11:41 AM
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'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house not a creature was stirring holy shit is that mark cuban
December 25, 2025 at 2:48 AM
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You'd better watch out!
You'd better watch out
YOᑌ'ᗪ ᗷETTEᖇ ᗯᗩTᑕᕼ OᑌT
December 24, 2025 at 11:44 AM
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whats the opposite of a rise and grind influencer. i want to be that. rise and rest. good morning, chat! everybody ready to wake up and get under a cozy blanket? who up doing the bare minimum and LOVING IT
March 12, 2025 at 4:15 PM
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December 10, 2025 at 11:14 AM
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More than ideological allies, I think this is best described as solidarity between people who are fucking terrible at their jobs
December 23, 2025 at 8:23 PM
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"im Josh Mankiewicz, and this... is Poster's Peril"
May 28, 2025 at 9:54 PM
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I can hear Keith Morrison when I read this.
May 28, 2025 at 10:12 PM
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TRUE CRIME PODCASTER DOING A SEASON ON MY GRISLY MURDER: From the outside, he was a normal man. A husband, a father, a friend. But he also harbored a secret. Something he didn't talk much about at all those lazy summer barbecues. He also (voice turning dark) posted online
May 28, 2025 at 9:53 PM
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im just old enough to have had the fortune of growing up with family who lived through the depression and really inherited their deep skepticism of personal debt. this shit is poison for the working class
December 23, 2025 at 8:24 PM
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My post-apocalyptic companions are worried that I was bitten by the rabid podcaster before we put him down but they're just being paranoid. This will make great content for the bonus episoohhh no
December 23, 2025 at 2:26 AM
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November 17, 2025 at 5:16 PM
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Throwing a rat AT my enemies, but throwing a rat TO my friends
August 11, 2025 at 10:44 PM
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Having Rat Time with all my friends
August 11, 2025 at 10:55 PM
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[first day as a shepherd]

boss: where are you going?

me: [pointing] star

boss: what? why

me: [shrugging] baby
December 23, 2025 at 1:24 AM
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The War of the Spanish Succession:
December 22, 2025 at 10:59 PM
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The Sound of Music is on TV tonight, so we must point you, yet again, to this all-timer by Melinda Taub from our archives.
I Regret to Inform You That My Wedding to Captain Von Trapp Has Been Canceled
Dear friends, family, and Austrian nobility, Captain Von Trapp and I are very sorry to inform you that we no longer plan to wed. We offer our deepe...
buff.ly
December 22, 2025 at 2:05 AM
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Escalate any disagreement by saying “here we go” whenever someone starts talking
December 13, 2023 at 2:45 PM
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Man, am I grateful for sewers. I cleaned my apartment this morning, took a shower, use the bathroom, I’m currently running the dishwasher and doing several loads of laundry. All that dirty water is being handled by the Northwest Bergen County Utility Authority. Amazing stuff.
December 21, 2025 at 4:18 PM
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He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows you would taste really good
So be ready with your stake
Oh
You'd better not shout
You'd better not cry
He's moving to London, he's sexy and bi
Dracula is coming to town
December 21, 2025 at 5:43 PM