Jared Olsen
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olsenjared.bsky.social
Jared Olsen
@olsenjared.bsky.social
4.7K followers 4.7K following 88 posts
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Reposted by Jared Olsen
one thing thats kinda crazy to get your head around is not that the musk and thiel masters of the universe are ungrateful for the vast public infrastructure, public funding of research, and robust systems of laws and rules that made their wealth possible. it's that theyre too dumb to understand it
Reposted by Jared Olsen
On Threads, the usual suspects are telling ppl about to lose SNAP benefits to just start a garden. As a gardener, I had to laugh. You need at LEAST an acre of land to feed a family of 4. Start-up costs are enormous. But yes, subsistence farming on the balcony of your rental apartment is the answer
Reposted by Jared Olsen
they HAD to demolish the white house, on account of all the diarrhea
Reposted by Jared Olsen
I respect that there are no perfect candidates and purity tests lead to political stasis but also I’d really love it if more politicians could overcome the very minor barrier of “never did Nazi shit”
Reposted by Jared Olsen
[introducing a girl to my parents]
these are the roommates i was telling you about
Reposted by Jared Olsen
New ICE recruiting methods have resulted in half of this group of absolute winners failing AN OPEN BOOK TEST
Reposted by Jared Olsen
Just once, can we have a reign of something other than terror?
Reposted by Jared Olsen
Uhhhhh…
CNBC: Is importing beef from Argentina a possibility?

BROOKE ROLLINS: Yes, the president has said he's in discussions with Argentina. It will not be very much. Argentina is also facing a foot and mouth disease issue.
Reposted by Jared Olsen
My friend asked if I wanted to go to The Woods (venue where Wednesdays are lesbian night) tonight and I had to be like. I am 40 years old and it starts at 10:30. That’s PM. And everyone there will be barely over half my age. There is no honor there. There is no wife there. There is only back pain
Reposted by Jared Olsen
A conspiracy theory I have is that people put hot sauces like Tabasco on everything not so much for the pepper as they do for the benefits of adding vinegar to a dish and that’s what they should be focusing on and recognizing. This conspiracy theory has not gotten traction due to “lack of interest”
Reposted by Jared Olsen
It's really OK to change your mind when new facts are presented. It really is.
Reposted by Jared Olsen
i know it sucks but it must feel a little fun to be that guy with the backhoe destroying the white house. that’s like the final boss of operating heavy machinery
Reposted by Jared Olsen
He just threw all the greatest hits into one big old nonsensical word salad.

The folks who failed 7th grade English and 7th grade history just say anything.

Every last one of those "monikers" are ideologies, perspectives, and a random religion that aren't synonymous.
Chip Roy: "The truth is the marxist, radicals, and Islamists the Democratic Party promoted this weekend, they cannot handle the truth. The truth is that there is a king and that king is Jesus. And the president has been willing to say it, & Charlie Kirk was willing to say it & he got killed for it."
Reposted by Jared Olsen
Yes, sarcasm is most definitely a thing. Those who don't recognize it are often revealed to be humorless pedants when they overtop someone's else's sarcasm with unnecessary guidance and correction.

You dumb motherfucker.
Blueskyism in full swing here by making a renouned, award winning journalist screenwriter fall for the most obvious of parody accounts.
Reposted by Jared Olsen
Child has their first imaginary friend, a thing they announced by saying, "I made a new friend," but when I asked who that friend was, they said, "DON'T TALK ABOUT IT! ANY! MORE!" so I guess it's a minor demon of some sort, which I love for them!
Reposted by Jared Olsen
suing my neighbor because their halloween decorations are too spooky
Reposted by Jared Olsen
The whole point of democracy is so one person's derangement does not become everybody's problem. It's social hygiene. The fact the richest men in the West are a mix of grotty twelve year olds and deranged apocalypse fanatics is a problem, and we should be honest about it.
Reposted by Jared Olsen
my woke take is that entirely too many people feel entitled to the benefits of a social contract while not feeling bound by the responsibilities of said contract
Reposted by Jared Olsen
The only excuse Lois Lane has for why her interviewing Superman isn't unethical, despite their romantic entanglement, is that it would be even more unethical for the paper's other top reporter, who is Superman, to interview himself, yet she cannot say this. This dilemma should be taught in J-school.
Reposted by Jared Olsen
Q: Do you feel Israel was justified with striking when it did?

TRUMP: Striking where?

Q: In Gaza. Today. And overnight.

TRUMP: I'd have to get back to you on that
Reposted by Jared Olsen
I know it's a fool's errand to expect anything from the media but "President posts video of himself dumping diarrhea on America" is an important thing to call attention to for a dozen reasons
Reposted by Jared Olsen
(shouting to the press secretary) Can you confirm whether the diarrhea was pre-loaded onto the aircraft or was it coming directly from the president's Ass?
Reposted by Jared Olsen
The left is melting down at the now iconic “diarrhea President”
Reposted by Jared Olsen
Every Republican on the Sunday shows should be forced to watch the Air Feces One video and then be asked, “Is the President sane?”
Reposted by Jared Olsen
America has gone almost 24 hours without its president posting a video of himself dumping shit on Americans. 🇺🇸