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@xsfleabaggage.bsky.social

820 followers 170 following 1.9K posts

Industrial strength skeets, dilute to taste. Laughter is resistance. My posts 👇🏾 https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:5nbpbsgxzkstv4oavt5uzwdl/feed/aaaigjz7b3w6e

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xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · Dec 3

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I went to the park and apparently

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · Aug 23

The most dangerous are the salt water squirrels.

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CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 22h

Will the $400m gift Air Force One be kept at the new Qatari air base?

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xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 16h

What if explosive diarrhoea went off after you’d passed it, that could be fun.

xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 16h

Do the shake an vac and put the freshness back.
Or burn it to the ground?
Tough call.

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headless horseDan @etbeeegood.bsky.social · 2d

It’s time for the muppets to die.

I’ll do it, you don’t have to watch

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Pivo @bautanist.bsky.social · Aug 12

*taunting a fire by holding a marshmallow 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 out of reach*

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Loathsome Shrew @shrewtape.bsky.social · Aug 31

Regularly injecting myself with capybara blood to chill out a little.

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𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖞𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 🕯️ @warmyellowlight.bsky.social · Feb 10

keyboard that makes sounds like a crackling fire when you press on the keys

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filth_waste @filth-waste.bsky.social · 2d

(witnessing mother lifting a fallen tree off her child) nawwp nono no. your form’s all wrong

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Criag @craigpsutton.bsky.social · 13d

The people yearn for snake oil

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𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒂 ✩ @cherrystainedlips.bsky.social · Mar 25

they hate me for my whimsy and cannibalistic inclinations

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Edible Mouse Feet @golfcartsurprise.bsky.social · Jan 19

a good friend whispered to me: pspspspspspsps

i’ll never forget that

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Fungocrat @fungocrat.bsky.social · 17d

The beasts of the field have begun subtly bowing their heads when I pass. Probably nothing.

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Fungocrat @fungocrat.bsky.social · 1d

I respect my dog. But I don't respect her beliefs.

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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 8d

French dudes be like Breaux

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ThinlyVeiledPanda @thinlyveiledpanda.bsky.social · 18h

Started saying mucho to my Spanish friends. It means a lot to them

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ThinlyVeiledPanda @thinlyveiledpanda.bsky.social · 2d

Dental X-rays? You mean tooth pics?

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Wendigo Wires 👻 @joparkerbear.bsky.social · 1d

I used to be normal, but it required a lot of drugs.

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average housewife @averagehousewife.bsky.social · 18h

Excited to have my birthday on the same day that giant comet alien ship deploys itself behind the sun and destroys us all.

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alexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 2d

antqueefa

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xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 22h

It’s only a “lava” lamp if it comes from the depths of an active volcano, otherwise it’s just glowing postmodern, ironic adornment.

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xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 1d

If you really were weightless you’d truly be gone.

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xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 1d

I’d like to be a paid apathist, or not, I don’t really care either way.

xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 1d

Definitely an “unjust peace”, if people’s concerns over climate change stop me from flying my private jet any time I want without feeling less than completely peaceful for destroying the planet!

xsfleabaggage.bsky.social @xsfleabaggage.bsky.social · 1d

Being a lighthouse keeper is really all about beard maintenance, oh and your relationship with Steve, the seagull.

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