I've got a dad back
@dadback.bsky.social
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I've got a dad back
@dadback.bsky.social
· Oct 19
Me, starting my work day: alright, let's get this bread
My boss (who is secretly a duck): HELL YEAH LET'S GOOOO
My boss (who is secretly a duck): HELL YEAH LET'S GOOOO
Frosty the Snowman has forward-facing eyes, indicative of a carnivorous predator
November 27, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Frosty the Snowman has forward-facing eyes, indicative of a carnivorous predator
Reposted by I've got a dad back
important to have at least a couple good friends who care enough to say something like “this substack makes you look crazy”
November 26, 2025 at 11:14 PM
important to have at least a couple good friends who care enough to say something like “this substack makes you look crazy”
Reposted by I've got a dad back
I’ve never paid for sex.
*looks at kids’ tuition bills*
Well, not on the front end.
*looks at kids’ tuition bills*
Well, not on the front end.
November 26, 2025 at 9:15 PM
I’ve never paid for sex.
*looks at kids’ tuition bills*
Well, not on the front end.
*looks at kids’ tuition bills*
Well, not on the front end.
Reposted by I've got a dad back
me, after losing sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch: no, i still don’t find rfk jr attractive
November 26, 2025 at 6:26 PM
me, after losing sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch: no, i still don’t find rfk jr attractive
Reposted by I've got a dad back
Last night, at almost 41 years of age, LeBron James put up 25 points 6 rebounds 6 assists on 60% shooting in 32 minutes of an NBA game. Last night, at almost 41 years of age, I turned too quickly to the left and now my neck hurts. We are not the same.
November 26, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Last night, at almost 41 years of age, LeBron James put up 25 points 6 rebounds 6 assists on 60% shooting in 32 minutes of an NBA game. Last night, at almost 41 years of age, I turned too quickly to the left and now my neck hurts. We are not the same.
Reposted by I've got a dad back
God: I’m gonna give them eyelashes to keep stuff from getting in their eyes
Angel: great idea, where do the eyelashes go when they fall out?
God: ok you’re gonna laugh
Angel: great idea, where do the eyelashes go when they fall out?
God: ok you’re gonna laugh
October 23, 2025 at 12:23 PM
God: I’m gonna give them eyelashes to keep stuff from getting in their eyes
Angel: great idea, where do the eyelashes go when they fall out?
God: ok you’re gonna laugh
Angel: great idea, where do the eyelashes go when they fall out?
God: ok you’re gonna laugh
Everything says it should be stored in "a cool, dry place" but my house came with the warm, wet, pulsating pantry option :(
November 26, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Everything says it should be stored in "a cool, dry place" but my house came with the warm, wet, pulsating pantry option :(
Reposted by I've got a dad back
[flour marketing meeting] let’s put it all over the outside of the package
November 26, 2025 at 5:37 AM
[flour marketing meeting] let’s put it all over the outside of the package
Reposted by I've got a dad back
My "I ACED COGNITIVE TEST" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
November 26, 2025 at 2:37 PM
My "I ACED COGNITIVE TEST" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
Reposted by I've got a dad back
What I don't get about American history is during the Revolutionary War period everyone was named things like "John Adams".
But when the Civil War comes around everyone is named things like "Jedediah Hotchkiss" and "Ambrose Burnside".
Then we just went back to normal names? What was going on??
But when the Civil War comes around everyone is named things like "Jedediah Hotchkiss" and "Ambrose Burnside".
Then we just went back to normal names? What was going on??
November 26, 2025 at 4:47 PM
What I don't get about American history is during the Revolutionary War period everyone was named things like "John Adams".
But when the Civil War comes around everyone is named things like "Jedediah Hotchkiss" and "Ambrose Burnside".
Then we just went back to normal names? What was going on??
But when the Civil War comes around everyone is named things like "Jedediah Hotchkiss" and "Ambrose Burnside".
Then we just went back to normal names? What was going on??
"Dead as a doornail" suggests the possibility of living construction materials
November 26, 2025 at 5:52 PM
"Dead as a doornail" suggests the possibility of living construction materials
Reposted by I've got a dad back
DOORDASH: imagine a $12 sandwich
ME: oh dang that sounds so good
DOORDASH: now imagine that it could be yours for just $37
ME: oh dang that sounds so good
DOORDASH: now imagine that it could be yours for just $37
November 26, 2025 at 5:03 PM
DOORDASH: imagine a $12 sandwich
ME: oh dang that sounds so good
DOORDASH: now imagine that it could be yours for just $37
ME: oh dang that sounds so good
DOORDASH: now imagine that it could be yours for just $37
Reposted by I've got a dad back
Good morning to everyone having a baha hard time.
November 26, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Good morning to everyone having a baha hard time.
Reposted by I've got a dad back
parenting...
a man in a blue shirt and a red jacket is holding a knife
Alt: a man in a blue shirt and a red jacket is holding a knife
media.tenor.com
November 26, 2025 at 1:07 AM
parenting...
Reposted by I've got a dad back
10 things that sort of rhyme with spinach:
Grimace
witness
Spinoza
dementia
finish
kinisthetic
credenza
menace
tinnitus (NA pronunciation)
clench
Grimace
witness
Spinoza
dementia
finish
kinisthetic
credenza
menace
tinnitus (NA pronunciation)
clench
November 26, 2025 at 1:05 AM
10 things that sort of rhyme with spinach:
Grimace
witness
Spinoza
dementia
finish
kinisthetic
credenza
menace
tinnitus (NA pronunciation)
clench
Grimace
witness
Spinoza
dementia
finish
kinisthetic
credenza
menace
tinnitus (NA pronunciation)
clench
Reposted by I've got a dad back
popeye getting ready for the rap battle:
10 things that sort of rhyme with spinach:
Grimace
witness
Spinoza
dementia
finish
kinisthetic
credenza
menace
tinnitus (NA pronunciation)
clench
Grimace
witness
Spinoza
dementia
finish
kinisthetic
credenza
menace
tinnitus (NA pronunciation)
clench
November 26, 2025 at 1:55 PM
popeye getting ready for the rap battle:
Reposted by I've got a dad back
Throwing another grinch pelt atop the mouldering pile
November 26, 2025 at 4:13 AM
Throwing another grinch pelt atop the mouldering pile
Reposted by I've got a dad back
"Welcome to the jungle we got fun and games"
Do you have twister?
"We got everything you want"
Sooo... is that a yes on twister?
Do you have twister?
"We got everything you want"
Sooo... is that a yes on twister?
November 19, 2025 at 6:31 AM
"Welcome to the jungle we got fun and games"
Do you have twister?
"We got everything you want"
Sooo... is that a yes on twister?
Do you have twister?
"We got everything you want"
Sooo... is that a yes on twister?
Reposted by I've got a dad back
AXL: welcome to the jungle
ME: (hoping they have fun and games and about to be pleasantly surprised)
ME: (hoping they have fun and games and about to be pleasantly surprised)
November 26, 2025 at 6:00 AM
AXL: welcome to the jungle
ME: (hoping they have fun and games and about to be pleasantly surprised)
ME: (hoping they have fun and games and about to be pleasantly surprised)
*my kids asking me how to do a simple, straightforward task*
Me: just go ahead and do it, there's no wrong way
*reviewing their implementation*
Me: ok, good try, looks like I was a bit too hasty with that "no wrong way" stuff
Me: just go ahead and do it, there's no wrong way
*reviewing their implementation*
Me: ok, good try, looks like I was a bit too hasty with that "no wrong way" stuff
November 26, 2025 at 12:32 PM
*my kids asking me how to do a simple, straightforward task*
Me: just go ahead and do it, there's no wrong way
*reviewing their implementation*
Me: ok, good try, looks like I was a bit too hasty with that "no wrong way" stuff
Me: just go ahead and do it, there's no wrong way
*reviewing their implementation*
Me: ok, good try, looks like I was a bit too hasty with that "no wrong way" stuff
Reposted by I've got a dad back
1 in 5 Americans are dealing with mental health conditions.
The other 4 aren't dealing and will be at my house on Thanksgiving.
The other 4 aren't dealing and will be at my house on Thanksgiving.
November 26, 2025 at 2:17 AM
1 in 5 Americans are dealing with mental health conditions.
The other 4 aren't dealing and will be at my house on Thanksgiving.
The other 4 aren't dealing and will be at my house on Thanksgiving.
Reposted by I've got a dad back
ME: I’ve never cooked a Thanksgiving turkey and I hope I go to my grave that way
DOCTOR: Then I've got good news
DOCTOR: Then I've got good news
November 26, 2025 at 6:45 AM
ME: I’ve never cooked a Thanksgiving turkey and I hope I go to my grave that way
DOCTOR: Then I've got good news
DOCTOR: Then I've got good news
Reposted by I've got a dad back
A lot of writers talk about their greatest fear being the empty page but to me that’s nothing compared to mummies
November 26, 2025 at 1:37 AM
A lot of writers talk about their greatest fear being the empty page but to me that’s nothing compared to mummies
Reposted by I've got a dad back
worker: bit of bad news it seems like god got kinda pissed we were building such a cool tower and he kinda cursed us into speaking different languages
worker 2: sacre bleu!
worker: yeah for sure man
worker 2: sacre bleu!
worker: yeah for sure man
November 25, 2025 at 3:42 AM
worker: bit of bad news it seems like god got kinda pissed we were building such a cool tower and he kinda cursed us into speaking different languages
worker 2: sacre bleu!
worker: yeah for sure man
worker 2: sacre bleu!
worker: yeah for sure man